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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Nov302011

Say What?

I know they keep pushing back the retirement age, but this is ridiculous:

Worst. Retirement package. Ever.

 

Clearly this "celabrate" you speak of refers to an activity with which I am unfamiliar.

 

Ever notice what a difference an "e" can make?

Ouch.

 

Or the lack of proper spacing?

Woohoo! Uric acid-induced arthritis! Yeah!

 

At first glance I thought this next cake said "gobbles," which you must admit would have been perfect on an edible baby cake.

Of course, if you say it fast enough this actually almost sounds right.

And, poof!
Just like that, I got you all to say the word "Gobbless" under your breath.

BOW BEFORE YOUR PUPPET MASTER!

Bwah-ha-haa-haaa!!!

 

Ahem.

 

And finally, a reminder of the importance of commas:

"The first 102rd moms were just so-so, but number 103th? BINGO."

 

Thanks to Bethany V., Clare P., Jason T., Angela L., Erin L., & Rachel M., and whoever first put an "rd" superscript over a number two. (Seriously, just try to pronounce "2rd" without giggling. Go on.)

« Now This One Really Slays Me | Main | Wreckeration H »

Reader Comments (91)

Maybe the little one for #3 works out alot...babies on steroids...some people will do anything to get their son a football scholarship. GOUT!

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMr. Cellophane

Gobbless = someone who is not gobsmacked (which is an awesome word).

And since the "gob" in "gobsmacked" means "mouth" I think we can assume that poor James William has no mouth.

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

"Gobbless?" And nobody made an "Arrested Development" joke?

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterColin F.

When I have my 103th birthday, I better have a way cooler cake than that!

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAhna

"thank you for you" (well, ain't that sweet!) but 2500 years of service? are we thanking Jesus, into the future for the next 500 years? or some natural phenomenon that has performed or existed for humanity's benefit for over 2 millenia?

um, celebrating 9/11? I'd hate to think who'd be buying THAT cookie. (is it a bakery lure for terror sympathizers?? is national security behind this?)

#3--why on earth are we celebrating circumsized babies??

#4--or people with arthritis that can play football--is that even possible?

#5--what's worse, a gobbling baby, gobbling a baby, or a Goddless baby? the anti-baptism cake? maybe the cross is supposed to be upside down.

#6--wow, dad or the kids are either pretty active, serial killers, or they scare off every other "mom" who comes to stay.

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commentershelovesmeforme

OMG
GOUT!
>snork<

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBlondie's Mom

That third cake with the baby booties looks very familiar. I believe that's the baby shower cake I sent in to Cake Wrecks a few months ago. There weren't many people at the party that noticed the mis-spelling.

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJason

I thought the last cake said:
Happy 1 oz th

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCMFrench

The ancient Celtic wall in Galicia that is still keeping drunks from falling down the hill would have preferred a bucket of mortar as thanks for 2500 years of dedicated service, but hey, you take what you can get, right? With sprinkles.

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTurkeymom

Five years ago (before Cake Wrecks) my niece had her son baptized and I offered to buy the cake. I asked the bakery to put God Bless Nathan on it. Well we had a change in plans and couldn't attend the party. I never saw the cake until about a month later on a video my FIL shot of the event. There for all the world to see was clearly written God Blessing Nathan. I couldn't believe no one said anything to me! If I hadn't stumbled upon the video I never would've known. Still bugs me to this day.

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

[All these months I couldn't post really snarky witty silly stuff and this time I post any old stupid thing just to see it fail again and it goes through..]


Yes, puppetmostress, you made me say "Gobbless" and "2RD" . Hahaha>SNORK<ha!
At first I thought "Gobbless" was the first name of some poor transgender turkey-boy god/dess. What do I know.
And the "cut little boys" made me queasy. Not bris-queasy, but what sicko would thank goodness for bodybuilding little boys? Eugh!

But GOUT! is the best. It should be a due-diligence warning on any holiday cake...

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBlondie's Mom

Is the second cake celebrating 9/11, or 9-1-1? Why would you celebrate either? Why can't people spell? Why am I thinking so hard about cake?

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterhjaxon1701

why not "celabrate" 9-11....... it's the day America finally woke up and realized they were NOT impenetrable. Perhaps they are "celabrating" their local emergency rescue 9-11 operators. Perhaps the word is not even supposed to be celebrate but Calibrate 9-11. As for mom's cake, perhaps she's older than that and just had her 103th baby!!! Keep 'em coming!!

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermethatswho

maybe the 'e' was left off on purpose. they could be referring to circumcision.

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteradrienne

Hahaha! Hilarious post. :)

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRiceMama

Poor gobble-less kid.

Makes my gout cake flare up.

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLetitia

Maybe the "cut little boys" was for a circumcision?

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Bahahaha! Good one! I totally fell for your tricks, and laughed so hard I almost cried!

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMiriam M.

I can't figure out where a comma WOULD go in that last cake. This is stressing me out.

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCat

I think somebody else already said this, but the gout one is supposed to be GO UT as in the University of Tennessee... It's still very funny though.

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Haha! Second-ird. Anyone else have a problem with the word "gob" being on a cake? Blech!

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Good lord, "cut little boys"? Awkward.

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMags@Thefullwoman.com

Master of puppets is pulling your strings, twisting your mind and smashing your dreams! Sorry got that stuck in my head and had to let it out.

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

I laughed at your comment, turkey mom.

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBea

The only problem with a bris cake is you can't cut it until it's eight days old.

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPhil

Anyone else think the baby booties are backwards on that cake? (in our house we call that "banana feet"!)

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLee

so, I tried to make #1 make sense by dividing by 7 and saying it was in dog years. still not working (357+).

for #2 I heard Inigo saying "I do not think that word means what you think it means."

Thank goodness someone explained "gobbless" as I was flummoxed.

In the comments, someone mentioned "Barenaked Ladies." Y’know, after this last July4th, every time someone says that I immediately think “Barenaked Fillion.” Thank goodness I’ll never meet the man- can you imagine recovering after looking him in the eye and saying THAT? (And, yes, I would though not intentionally.)

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

drat. I just had the thought that maybe the first one was for Old Faithful. I checked the Yellowstone page and it doesn't give a date of hire, though. (sigh) I thought I was on to something there, too.

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Oh my. These made me laugh til I cried lol. Wow. As for the celebrate 9-11 cake.. what the is all I can say to that. Unless they want to celebrate 911 operators then that I could understand. Ah wreckerators you make my day.

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

We just moved to Austin in July, so that football cake cracks me up ... Cake Wrecks is the best part of my day!

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKamis

Just in case anyone is intersted . . . .

There's a "Gobbles, the Crazy Eating Goat" available on eBay right now!!

http://www.ebay.com/itm/1978-KENNER-Gobbles-Crazy-Eating-Goat-/140650635394?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item20bf6e6082

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDotRot

I will note two things.
1. Some people were born or got married before 9/11/2001 so they might have reason to celabrate. Though why it didn't say "anversey" or "berthday" is a mystery.
2. If you say God Bless really fast it does come out like that. The wreckerator was only writing what s/he was told to write. Not the wreckerators fault if the customer can't spell.

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKelticat

Ahh! You got me, I concede and bow before you!

December 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnon

Well, clearly you do not live in Sou(th) Philly. Gobbless is a common conclusion to any conversation that includes any talk of health, illness or death. My only problem with it is....it is more accurately spelled Gahbbless.

December 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

Entertainingly enough the first cake IS for vampires! I work for a blood bank and it was a cake for National Blood Collection Appreciation Week. We got it and my first thought was to take a picture because it was SUCH a wreck!! Soooo many things wrong :-) Glad everyone found it as hilarious as I did!

December 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBethany O.

Gob Bluth apparently was fond of this child. Enough to bless him anyway.

December 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoel

Oh I have lived in the south too long because Gobbless makes perfect sense to me. That's what it always sounds like with the accent ... Gobbless Y'all lol. I would even hazard a guess that the person who decorated the cake actually thought it was spelled that way too. My mom is a middle school teacher and those kids are always spelling everything the way it sounds in their accent.

December 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLiora

I agree with the lady who said it's more disturbing about the "celebration" of 9-11 than it is about the mispell. If by celebration you mean mourn...

What if: it was meant to say Godless James William? right next to the cross? No.

February 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPhone Home

Who's gobbling James William? And how?

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterme

2rd? Secord? I don't get what's so giggle-worthy.

June 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDylan R.

I tried to NOT make myself giggle saying that 2rd. I can't. Sopt. Laughijng

October 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTokaiyaBMalfoy

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