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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Nov292011

Wreckeration H

Here's a sure sign things at the local bakery are going down the toilet:

For that long, uncomfortable plane ride!

Donut-shaped for added support!

A sticky cooling sensation with every slice!

Ok, ok, I'll stop. For now.

 

Thanks to Gretchen O. for pulling this picture out of her assortment.

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Reader Comments (60)

Oh man, that is going to be one best seller, I can tell.

I think those Ass. cakes need to see a Doctor. They seem to have a case of the bloody boils popping up all over the place, eewww.

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

*gag* R these people KRAZY?????!¡¡¿¿¿ lol ;) hope you have a nice ass. of doughnuts!

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergiggle master

Jen, really, you don't have to go overboard for your gay audience.

We're here already.

Really.

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristian Johnson

To paraphrase Billy Currington:

God is great
Beer is meh...

People are stupid.

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I feel silly. I can't quite figure out what it was supposed to say!

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

"I scream
You scream
We all scream for
Ass cream."

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Oh, my. Not even going to go there, no pun intended. But I find myself imagining how horrible cake filled with Preparation H would be...

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

I prefer cakes frosted with but-r-creme.

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Okay, you guys nearly got me. I guess I'm glad I swallowed that coffee as the page was loading... I wonder if these are made with Preparation H or some cheap, generic, off-brand... O_O

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Must be southerners... Seriously say ice cream cake in an accent

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAli

Excerpt from the Department Store Annals:
A new sign maker was hired for the bakery in hopes of generating more movement in that department. He was a passive individual who seemed to be the butt of many jokes. His instructions were simple: keep things brief and don’t fall behind. The new signs succeeded in getting things going, unfortunately the ass.cream cake display was knocked over by a customer. The result was quite a mess; cake piles were everywhere, many of them had cracks. The customer was willing to pay for the damaged cakes however, as it was she who wrecked ‘em.

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Can people not even take the time to spell assorted anymore ?! D:

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

"I'm sorry, Scott; did you just ask for ice cream?"

"Yes, I would like some chocolate ASS cream."

"Oh."

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

@zoomom: That was good, but you left off the end, where the signmaker tuchkes kit and left. The manager thought of suing him, but feared repercussions derriere his complaints.

Protip: if anything that comes out of your assorted is marbled with deep red gelatinous bits, seek a physician immediately.

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Great. I'm getting on a plane tomorrow and all I'm going to be able to think about is these cakes. It's your fault if they throw me off for laughing manically for no reason. I'll be pulled off screaming, "Curse you, Cake Wreeeeeeecks!"

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

@zoomom I love you! Kind of goes with the theme of the last cake from yesterday's turkeys.

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPeg D

Seriously though. How many employees, store managers, bakery customers looked at that sign and thought to themselves "looks good"?

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle S.

I don't get it.

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

@Trevor

The baker/sign maker was trying to abbreviate Assorted Cream Cakes, but it came out like that.

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOrilon

Jacks and jennys buck.
"Why offer cream cake," they snort,
"when I asked for brayed?"

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Thanks for the laugh!!

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Like others said, I hope there's no preparation H in there.

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMark

There's nothing quite like 20 ounces of Fiesta Ass Cream Cake.

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEli & Ember's Mom

Years ago I worked as a bank teller. I remember one day one of my colleagues typed up (yes, that is how long ago) a cashier's checck for a customer. The manager looked at it exclaimed loudly enough for the entire bank to hear: "You can't abbreviate associate like THAT!" We all laughed until we cried, fo rthe rest of the day.

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKate

I guess it says something horrible about me that Preparation H was NOT the first thing I thought of when I read the sign. I was pleased that you managed to class that up.

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeigh Ann

Does this "assorted" display have anything to with those "f@rting on cakes" websites going around?

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSunshine Mary

What makes the label worse is the fact those cakes are all rings.

Shudder

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

@ Christian Johnson:
*giggles*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now, COME ON! NObody can tell me that whoever made that sign didn't do that deliberately...just to be funny. How bloody HARD is it to go the distance and actually write "ASSORTED"??
They had no trouble with those honking big numbers! ($3!!! screaming at you, and a dinky 69)
I mean it--those employees must be so lazy. They didn't put much into it. They could have easily put: "ASS. CRM. CK.", or: "ASS. CREAM CK." ?
Both would have still saved them their precious magnetic letters, while being more...well...hmmm...

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~anamorous~

I know that store! Fiesta is a Mexican grocery store out here in TX. Someone obviously didn't think this one through... too funny!

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermary

I'm sorry to the girl that sent the picture, but there is a lady in Brazil named Gretchen who is very well known for her....assets? This just adds a whole new layer of funny on this post for me!

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMadMaria

@ Sharyn ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! that was too funny!!!!

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCanadianPat

If you need something to wash down those ASS. CAKES, we've got HOMO. MILK in the dairy case.

-_-'
(Oh, the things one sees on a late night shopping trip to Food4Less...)

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe13thCupcake

Wow, lovely at all the blame the southerner jokes. It's not a southern thing it is a stupid thing or a I wonder if my boss will notice and if I'll get fired thing.

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTammie

Ok, seriously Jen, I DEMAND that you guys put a disclaimer somewhere that states you are "not responsible for coffee spewed all over your monitor". I really should know better by now....You never fail to make me laugh!

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChris

I'm wondering if the store also had a special in the meat department: Pork Butt-whole. You know, just to make meal planning easier.

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCheri

Sponsored by the Ying Yang Twins (369, damn yo fine, give it to me, give it to me, one more time)

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdriana

JUST THINK!
Thanksgiving is over!
THAT (!) means (!) (drum roll, please): We get to look forward to Christmas and assorted other holidays! AND to the onslaught of....no, not ONLY Christmas and assorted other holiday CCC's, but also Christmas and assorted other holiday CCCCCCCC's [Confusing, Clumsy, Corrupted, Cadaverous, Conflagrant Crappy Christmasandassortedotherholidays Cakes]!
These are usually in a league of their own, festively speaking.
I am so excited.
'Tis the season~ Let the carnage begin!

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~anamorous~

Isn't that just southern drawl for "ice cream cake"? :)

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMoxie Man

Maybe it was a Santorum Special?

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChains81

Looks like someone else found this funny photo too - I posted it on your FB page a few days ago - it is pretty funny, isn't it?!!
:)

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMags

Years ago I interviewed for a job in a retail store. I did not get the job because I could not control the fits of giggling that continually erupted after I spotted my interviewer's name tag.
It read:
CHRISTOPHER
ass. man.
Much later I realized that he was the assistant manager.
Why oh why must we abbreviate so much?
That could have been the best job I ever had and now I'll never know.....

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Topped with chocolate "ass" cream, naturally ;)

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRiceMama

@ Angie:
Aw, don't feel bad about that job. Look on the bright side! Would you really want to work under an ass (man) with so nonexistent a sense of humor? How could he even WEAR that thing and take himSELF seriously--or expect to be TAKEN seriously??
Seriously!

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~anamorous~

Oh man..did they really think that ass. is the proper way to do this? Still remembering the ass donuts from awhile back lol. Sheesh one never learns do they?

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Well, at least they weren't covered with brown piped icing.

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatiMomKat

Also know as the Santorum Special?

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Angie: Retail? No it wouldn't have.

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commenternan

@ Sharyn - You made me LOL!!!

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBets

Burma Shave

November 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlisa

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