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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Nov282011

Thanksgiving Leftovers

Love 'em or hate 'em, you have to admit that some leftovers are better than others. In fact, you might wonder why these poor Thanksgiving cakes got passed over for Turkey day:

Or...not.

Ok, maybe they just passed. [bah dum BUM]

 

I am shocked - SHOCKED - that the Butterball Butterflies didn't simply FLY off shelves this year:

"The Butterball Butterfly: 'Cuz you've never seen a Turkey Fly."

 

Most bakeries went with the tried and true "Happy Thanksgiving" last week, but some took a little more "artistic license:"

"And lo, they laid the baby glow worm in a manger, and saideth, 'Thanks AND Giving' Lo. Cometh hath. And sucheth."

 

And now that you're feeling extra thankful, here to drive the point home is a confused turkey being flame broiled:

I call it, "View Through An Oven Window."

(I'd like to point out that the turkey and text up there are a printed edible image, and the flames and question marks were added by the baker - presumably because the baker REALLY hates turkeys.)

 

Which leads us to the always-popular blackened turkey:

Schmokin'!

 

Uh, guys? Is this next one really a turkey? Cuz I'm getting more of a goat...[eying kids in the room]...ish vibe here:

Call me cheeky, butt the temptation to crack a Rear Window joke is suddenly overwhelming.

 

Thanks to Anony M., Beckey, Andrew & Hannah, Laura H., Krista L., & Deborah B., who'd like to remind us that leftover turkey is a dish best served cold. And it is very cold...IN SPACE.

P.S. KHAAAAANNN!!!

« Wreckeration H | Main | Sunday Sweets: Tour De Force »

Reader Comments (63)

"From Hell's heart I stab at thee. For Hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee."

STII:TWOK FTW!

And other assorted acronyms and abbreviations.... ;)

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarmiehead, the Un-Stalker

Great. Now I'm going to have Captain Kirk screaming in my head all day! Maybe it will actually make me productive.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

Blackened? It looks green to me. Which is probably worse.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Away in a manger of orange and red,
The cute little glow worm lay down his sweet head.
He sends us a message of giving and thanks,
And holiday greetings to all the world's cranks.

God Blesseth uth every one.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Baby glow worm cracked me up! Well saideth, my dear Jen xD

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCristi

That last looks to me like it's made from 100% pure camel toe.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

Is blackened turkey traditionally served with watermellon pieces and a lemon?

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLMR

Forget Kirk - Ricardo Montaban will be in my head all day now!

That last picture... and the cherry.... oh, my.

Happy Turkey Day ... What turkey is happy that day? Who thinks of these cakes? And who buys them? Do they actually sell? Or are they just hoping to get on CW.

Inquiring minds want to know. I must go ponder the mystery of these things.

"From Hell's heart I stab at thee. For Hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee."

Yep, in my head...

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoanie

That last one has me thinking that if Jimmy Stewart had looked across the courtyard and what he saw had been that cake, the movie would have been a lot shorter. No less tragic, but less time-consuming, you know?

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterb

The last looks like it saying "oh my aching butt".

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPeg D

I would think that everyone knows private parts are best served with whipped cream and a cherry.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

That is not black, it's a blueish green, which makes it look contaminated D:

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Re last one, the Baker needed somewreck to park a bicycle.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

I actually thought "View Through an Oven Window" was a clever if not very subtle play on words - we say Happy 'Turkey Day' but it definitely isn't a 'Happy Turkey' Day. Appropriate, perhaps, for the vegetarians in our midst!

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSherri

Nooooooooo!!! The glowworm cake is a cookie 'cake'. Noooooo....

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterG

I loved you already, but the TWOK reference just sealed the deal!

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOZ

That third creation is an illustration of a long rumored to exist, rare biological marvel, the turkey pupa....

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

I just heard turkeys are so stupid they look up in rainstorms to see what's tapping them on the head and subsequently drown, too stupid to look back down. A quick trip to Snopes.com told me this was, alas, an urban legend. Still, it made me wonder -- How many wreckerators drown in the shower every year? The numbers must be staggering.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

#1 First Wreckerator (to co-worker): "So, did you just get a new puppy?" Second Wreckerator: "Yes, how did you know?"

#2 Ah, cupcakes paved with poo and covered with autumn leaves (cue piano music). I'm glad someone went 'traditional*' this year.

#3 Part of me wants to know what the wreckerator could possibly have been thinking (or taking) and the other part worries that it might make some sort of sense. Michelin Man, Jr. surrounded by flames and happy about it?!

#4 Printed 'edible' images are a great time-saver. Certainly avoids all that tedious ringing up of sales. The question marks were added by the manager.

#5 Yes, it's that Dr. Seuss holiday classic, 'Green Turkey, Asparagus, Kumquat and Watermelon.' At least I hope those are watermelon seeds -- I'd need a video to make sure they aren't moving. (The follow-up, 'Green Eggs and Ham', was a much bigger success, even though there was no obvious holiday tie-in. He hit on the winning formula, though, with 'How the Grinch Stole Kwanzaa.')

#6 Looks like someone was unable to resist sampling, and they managed to completely fool the Frosting Technician. Points for originality on the vertical presentation -- I suppose that would make carving easier... Why does it have '6' stamped on top? Does that mean there is more than one of these?

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Have so seen a turkey fly. Granted it was a "heritage" breed not one of those poor demented/crippled/lobotomized white things. But still, have so!!
Also that goat...ish cake!!! words fail me!

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterspel chek

I've done worse . . . I've hurt you.

And I've cooked the turkey while he was wearing his hat.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFM

That's not a glow worm. That's a flaming Stay Puft Marshmallow, uh, baby.

Yes, Melonie. Unadulterated camel toe.....hence the cherry.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

The baby glow worm and cracked turkey butt just made my day.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStella

You know, except for the black one, I was really wondering if you got the pre-Thanksgiving cakes and the rejects mixed up? These actually do not look all that bad. Seriously. Aside from the black one, and even then it's mostly the color.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Tarry half-moon bird.
Worm-infested rose garnish.
Platter mirrors our woe.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

(Geek--or maybe just oldster--points if you know where that comes from...)

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Thanksgiving Wrecks could be avoided just by sticking with the thanksgiving basics of pie! Who eats cake for thanksgiving? But then what would we have to mock?

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Excluded turkey
CCCs at my table:
so traditional.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I do not always comment, but that baby glow worm part is classic. Still giggling... :)

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

@Sharyn:
Re: " How many wreckerators drown in the shower every year?"
Answer: Not enough, I'm afraid....not enough.
~~~~~~
Now, about the PUPA: that just so happens to be a picture of MY shopping cart. I snapped the photo as I was hustling him out of the store to come and live at my house. He won't be picked on or made fun of ANY more. He won't have to sleep on a stale, old cookie, either. No sir! He'll have a nice, soft bed of angel food cake, and marshmallow pillows to dream on...
Don't be looking for any ransom notes...you all HAD your chance.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~anamorous~

Not just TWOK but also WKRP. As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

"'Cuz you've never seen a Turkey Fly."
Well, I've never *seen* an elephant fly, either. Doesn't mean they don't EXIST, right? (I mean, not counting Dumbo--and he wasn't and elephant FLY...just a flying elephant.) But there could jolly well BE turkey flies. And if there are any special turkey-CAKE flies, I'm expecting them to show up any minute to fling themselves at that first specimen.

I wonder if anyone ended up eating that black one?
I wonder if they'll be surprised when they poop green? 'Cause when you ingest black food coloring, you poop green. Never mind HOW I know this...I just know.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~anamorous~

Baby glow worm MADE. MY. DAY. I will be smiling for the rest of the day thinking about him. Thanks Jen!

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHairproductjunkie

turkey # 1 looks a little shocked about his accident.

is #2 on fire??

#3--the cute little pale glowworm,/marshmallow baby/ghost infant is in a nest of flames and "smiling happy"! cute little guy.

the turkey in the oven window is very appropriate. I like the dark humor of this one. and it reminds me of the scene in Chicken Run when Red and Ginger are trying to escape the oven of Mrs. Tweedy's pie making machine. this is--when Tom didn't escape!

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjo

Did you really just reference Goat$# ?! Wow! Normally, I would not approve, however coming from you just made it priceless.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

I feel a little dirty that I'm the only person who got the goatse reference.

Do NOT google that. Seriously.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGeorge P.

"Cuz I'm getting more of a goat...[eying kids in the room]...ish vibe here"
I see what you did there...ಠ_ಠ

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterhuskiebear

We call that "cajun" around these here parts!

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterApple

The "View thru an oven Window" turkey: Could the flames be BACON???? Just wondering. The blackened turkey looks green to me too! Weird cakes all around..great!!

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVictoria

I think you should've added a soundtrack: Scotty playing bagpipes (amazing grace?) while we wreckies look at the photos of the poor, unfortunate cakes (and one cookie).

And that green half cake thing with icing-tube legs? that's just unsanitary! And a cute turkey in a pilgrim hat, relegated to the flames of hell? Well now I'm just going to be sad for the rest of the day.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLetitia

Umm... I think I'd be a little worried about eating the Technicolor blue or especially yellow turkey. Or maybe I should just be worried about the quality control at whatever baker[ies] these cakes came from...

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCam

SuBee made me laugh and Melonie made me giggle/snort.
@ SaraCVT- I loved that episode of WKRP and, yes, I’m old.

Did anyone else think #3 is just an albino?? No, just me? (sigh)

KHAAAAANNN!!!

mel, I wondered why I felt extra warm & fuzzy on Thanksgiving- thank you, sir! (sorry for the delay but I was camping and don’t take a computer) Hope you had a wonderful day yourself.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

That "blackened" turkey looks green to me - that would make it a duck, not a turkey. Still a bird, though.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDiane1611

"Of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most... HUMAN."

The glow worm in the manger made me snort.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStarbuck

The last one made me think of this...

"As God as my witness, I swear I thought turkeys could fly!"

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRanger

that's from MOBY DICK you PHILISTINES why i oughta... i... uh...

#5: It's a zombie turkey! Also sometimes called a zomburkey, though officially the term "zomburkey" only applies to a turkey stuffed inside a burlap sack stuffed inside a zombie before cooking, which is still more appetizing than any of these cakes. But that's immaterial! Run! Run for your lives!

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

hahaha these are so awesome! I love the cookie and the one with all the question marks. Although, I think my favorite is the 'blackened' blue turkey! hahah

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHanna

How much is that turkey in the window?
The one with the crackling flames.
How much is that turkey in the window
I I do hope he's not in much pain!

And btw: That is not a pupa, it is a larva. The pupa would be asleep and encased in at least a tough skin or maybe even a cocoon.

November 28, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterturkey lurkey

I swear that first cake looks like something an elephant would leave in its wake..ugh. And cannot stop laughing at the turkey butt cake. Wow..someone in that bakery either didn't like the request or hates turkey in general. Ahh the joys of holiday wrecks.

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I about died laughing when you called out the thinly veiled goatse cake for what ot really was. Amd yes, if you don't get it for the love of pete DON'T GOOGLE IT.

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDoppelbock

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