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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Dec062011

High Koos

Soft evening breezes
Radioactive tampons
Lighting my undies

 

Just clowning around
What a way to be headed
Coulrophobia

 

She drives me crazy
Like no one else (ooh. ooh.)
Someone check the oil.


Waves of well wishes
A sea of celebration
Happy...Stan? You ok?

 

Thanks to Maria A., Kristina K., Samantha T., & Fay K., who know that haikus are easy, but sometimes they don't make sense.

Refrigerator.

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Reader Comments (79)

Does anyone have any idea what the Radioactive tampons are actually meant to be?

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMagic

Such a wreck array
Do they check the end result?
Thanks, I'll have the pie.

OR

Today is special
Can't wait to read Haiku Joy
In her element

OR

I just have to bake
Radioactive tampons
Made with yellow cake

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

You had me counting the syllables in "radioactive tampons". Now there's something I didn't think I would be doing this morning...

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPersephone

I would post something
But I am laughing too hard
Now I cannot breathe.

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Radioactive tampons??? You just made my day :D

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeighAnne

Genius Haiku post
Never was a Haiku fan
Cakewrecks changed my mind

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDBM

Is that supposed to be just a clown suit, or did they forget the flotsam clown head? The thought of a decapitated clown cake... nope. I think I'd rather have something else on my cake, thanks.

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

Radioactive tampons?! I'm just glad I hadn't taken a sip of coffee yet because it would have been all over the computer screen. Thank you for that belly laugh, I needed one today.

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLiz B.

Tampons, crazy clowns too.
Your creativity rocks,
Song stuck in my head. :)

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterScaperchick

What is the first one even supposed to be? Wiimotes?

The last one makes me feel like I'm suffocating.

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRane

What in the world is that first one? The clown is perfect! That is just how I like my clowns.....BEHEADED! (I hate clowns!)

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

What in H-E-double toothpicks is that first cake all about? *shudder*

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPeg D

Ummm....what was that 1st cake actually supposed to be? It couldn't possibly been what the 'high-koo' suggested?!!!

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMcKaPet

Finally, a tampon that diagnoses toxic shock syndrome!

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

What...the...can't comprehend logic behind these O_o

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

The first haiku made me blow coffee out the nose, for a good 10 minutes.
FYI: There are more painful beverages to snort into your sinuses....like orange soda.

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBadCookie

I think the radioactive tampons are actually supposed to be glow sticks on strings. The real thing is never as funny as the one Jen et. al. come up with.

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessica H

Your husband, Stan, drowned?
I'm so sorry about that.
Here, have a nice cake.

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Hmm...that car wrecked trying to cross the border. Must have been royal icing that crunched the hood. Bureau of Immigration, are you taking notes?

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterandretti

I suck at writing poetry of any kind. That said. Could. Not. Stop. Laughing. at your first one. Totally brilliant!

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Awesome! I love these almost (but not quite) as much as your puns.
I predict that 50% of the folks who read this will Google "Coulrophobia"
Also -- why would someone put radioactive tampons on a cake?

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Not sure how I feel about the fact that your first haiku was pretty much was I was thinking already.

Nice tush, Stan. Seems a waste...can I have the tushy piece, please?

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

Fine Young Canibals! I actually heard that song on the radio yesterday!

Thanks for the laugh this morning! :)

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermichelej

Love the final bonus haiku - Refrigerator. You make my day!

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterErin

First cake resembles
Resuscitation paddles
Revive first, then eat.

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDB

#1 Glowsticks, maybe? I'm leaving the border out of it, which others seem to be doing as well.

#2 For some reason, I went to 'Last of the Dodos', AKA 'Porky in Wackyland'.

#3 It almost makes sense. Sort of a make-your-own-story kind of thing. That large shell tip (like I know these things) certainly is popular...

#4 Speaking of 'make your own story', I'm trying to account for all of the elements here, and...it just isn't happening. Let's see: solitary 'B', boy is...er, swimming, (yeah, that's it), something that could be a wave / broken surfboard / great white about to surface, while carrying the 'water' onto the side suggests a waterfall. Does someone have it in for 'STAN'? Does 'B' denote 'plan B'?

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

The only thing I can think of on that first one is some sort of gaming controls but radioactive tampons are funnier.

Gary's haiku made me giggle a lot though - definitely my favorite :)

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

No, they're not easy.
You miscount the syllables
On your third and fourth. ;)

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

With glowing capsid
and buttercream flagellum,
cake has gone viral.

That clown suit contains
no head, hands, nor skeleton:
beware naked clown.

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

I have no idea what the first cake is suppose to represent, but your explanation works for me! I have seen the last cake that is suppose to be a copy from Easy Party Cakes by Debbie Brown. It doesn't come close! This guy is obviously a floater.

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharon's Edible Art

Jen's witty haikus
Dead Stan's floating face-down corpse
Coffee out the nose

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

@ Craig: the mob tried out a new tactic: sending a Threatening Cake-O-Gram.

It didn't work out so well, though. People forgot all about the scary death threat once they ate all the yummy cake.

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Where is Haiku Joy???

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCynthia

Refrigerator :)

http://www.threadless.com/product/623/Haikus_Are_Easy_But_Sometimes/style,design

Yay! For Threadless on sale

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Stan? Stan??? Speak to me, Stan!

Aw, forget it, where's the cake knife?

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Red Velvet inside
radioactive tampon
cake would be epic

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

For the "Stan" cake...the perfect line from "Steel Magnolias". Ouiser cuts the tail end off the Bleedin' Armadillo Groom's cake and hands it to Drum. He looks at it and says:

"Thanks, Ouiser...nuthin' like a good piece of a$$."

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSalannB

Stan's cake is so well made but leaves you with so many questions!! My brain gears have locked in overload.....

And where is Haiku Joy?!

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

@Naomi that is exactly what it looked like to me :) (i'm in the medical field ;))

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRita

Headless clown flounders
like post-hatchet chicken, but
sprouts new life: flowers!

Fine Young Cannibals
stick in my head; anyone
for Christmas carols?

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Radioactive Tampons. I never thought I'd be saying this today.

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarter

My ten-year-old has the Threadless haiku shirt. Refrigerator, indeed!

The headless clown haunts.
I fear my dreams at nighttime.
Please take it away.

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

This is the first time I can't figure out what any of the cakes were supposed to be. Congratulations: You scored100%!

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOldish Lady

@Carter, you didn't think you'd be saying 'radioactive tampons' today?

Ya gotta admit, though, it would be a great disastrous name for a band.

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I think I can explain the last cake... in the Netherlands, children learn to swim in three phases. After each phase, they get a certificate. The first certificate is called A-diploma, the second is called B-diploma. For their B-diploma, they have to be able to swim under water. So this is a cake for a boy who's just received his B-diploma. Sorry if this has ruined it for you ;-)

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatja Boumans

Stan B.,
with glee
I'll clerihew
you.

There once was a fellow named Stan
whose baker never taught how to swam.
Stan tried it in cake
but then he got baked.
Now we all call him Graham.

Death cake to cheaters!
Haiku Joy sees red frosting.
Passive-aggressive.

Scary headless clown?
Radioactive tampons
will burn him with fire!

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

As a hater of clowns, I think a clown whose head has been replaced by flowers is a vast improvement over most clowns!

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterZoe

Pretty sure the first cake is supposed to be bacteria filled with fluorescent proteins. Perhaps a celebratory cake for someone working in a lab.

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMJ

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