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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Dec062011

High Koos

Soft evening breezes
Radioactive tampons
Lighting my undies

 

Just clowning around
What a way to be headed
Coulrophobia

 

She drives me crazy
Like no one else (ooh. ooh.)
Someone check the oil.


Waves of well wishes
A sea of celebration
Happy...Stan? You ok?

 

Thanks to Maria A., Kristina K., Samantha T., & Fay K., who know that haikus are easy, but sometimes they don't make sense.

Refrigerator.

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Reader Comments (79)

Was Stan a vampire? Was he staked? Why is Buffy's B (sort-of) next to him?

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaaren

The top cake reminds me of those bars they scan u with at the airport or sanitary napkins. The cake with the car made me think the car ran over something and all that was left was a black splat in the road.

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersheila anderson

I am adding "Radioactive Tampons" to my great name for a band list.

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGretchen

I'm so glad I wasn't the only one who looked at the Stan cake and wondered if he was being eaten by a Great White Shark. But ... but ... but ... why commemorate the occasion in cake? And what's the scarlet "B" supposed to signify? Did the shark have an alphabet tattoo? Or was it just hungry and ate the rest of whatever word started with "B" along with Stan's left arm?

Poor Stan. Well-fed shark, though.

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJules

first one is definitely radioactive super sperm busting through an egg wall and glowing with victorious-ness while the lesser sperm looks on jealously

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergabbie

Hazardous canal
Blue sperm swimming in circles
Impenetrable

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSal

i have that shirt!
and i have none of those cakes!
how happy am i?

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkathie

You have got to give a girl a warning when you are going to post a headless clown. Hello, nightmares! :)
Could the tampons be iPods? The sad thing is, I think I'd buy this cake just because of how funny it is.

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRixie

My opinion on the first cake is that they're supposed to be MP3 players. Why they're glow-in-the-dark highlighter colors is anyone's guess. I like Jen's description better.

I'm not good at poetry, so I'll live vicariously through all you clever, talented, poetic Wreckies! Oh, and thanks for the "Refrigerator" explanation - I was clueless 'til I read today's comments (geek cred has been knocked down a point).

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-Marie

If you flip Stan over, he's clearly yet another bearskin bachelor. Alas, a tsunami has inundated his mancave and too many refills of his massive champagne glass have left Stan unable to swim, or even grasp the waterlogged bearskin as it floats beside him. The giant "B" floated in from Barbie's party in the next cabana.

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarkM

I have that t shirt, too! In fact, I'm wearing it right now!

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

That first haiku is vile. VILE, I SAY! (I totally typed that with a straight face. Bwahahahahaha)

Thanks for the Fine Young Cannibals song I won’t get out of my head for days. (insert sarcasm here)

Oh, Haiku Joy, you are simply awesome!!

hippopotamus

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

We highly approve.
Nightglow tampons, leaky cars.
Sounds like our forte!

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFoodiku

Well, as a microbiologist... I'll admit, I'm willing to bet the first cake is supposed to be photoreactive bacteria.
But then again, I may have just seen that because my brain is jaded wired to see those things.
Yay tampons!

December 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLalis

Well I knew there was a reason I hated tampons and now I have proof! Lol. Never would I have believed I would read those two words together in a sentence until now. Wow. Wreckerators are killing me with laughter as are all the haikus.

December 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I think the first one is a take on those silhouette iPod ads. Or else they are really radioactive tampons. I always wondered what was in those mysterious o.b. boxes.

December 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterN'awlins Darlin'

Clearly I'm a closet masochist or something. I always laugh so hard it hurts, but I keep coming back for more. Lol P.s. Captain Explainy-Pants, this time knowing what these cakes are supposed to be doesn't help AT ALL!!!! They still look like radioactive tampons, a nightmare on acid, a less than half finished cake with a splotch, and a drowning victim. Thank you Jen, may I have another? Lmbo

December 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah R.

I'm scared of Haiku Joy now.

December 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Lie to Haiku Joy?
She throws class Christmas party.
Wormwood candy canes.

December 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I love that you included the haiku from the Threadless shirt design ('refrigerator'). I have that shirt and always get comments/laughs when I wear it.

December 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

The first might be glowsticks?? lol..no clue. :D

December 8, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlaurie

Ok... WHY would someone ask for tampons on a cake?? Really? Because... Those ARE tampons, right?? There's no way around it. So, the only question is WHY? OMG WHY??

December 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVirginia

I think they call the things on the first cake Ipads, Jen.

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMeghan

When I saw the clown, I thought of Dr. Seuss' green pants with nobody inside them!

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSueKuKu

Jen, dear...

Some of us are sharing CakeWrecks with our 12-yr daughters as a mother/daughter bonding session. I skimmed a few posts & thought "This is hilarious! I'll share it with Grace!" And I promptly called her in (well, OK, she heard me laughing and was heading my way already...)

And then I clicked on this one... Good grief!! (Well, Ok, she's at that age where she needs to know what tampons are anyway...:-)

Your "Bad Vibe" post had a nice warning note, which I appreciated. (Needless to say, I did not share that one with Grace...but hubby thought it was hilarious!) I think you might want to be a little more liberal with those warning notes. Else I'll have to read every post 2x - screen it once by myself & then a 2nd time with my daughter *if* it passed the test. When Grace is about 18 or 20, I'll let her read it on her own. :-)

Just a thought....

P.S. Grace says "Hi! Love your blog!"

December 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKarate Lady

Umm... The Haiku structure is actually
5
7
5
syllables, but, still a funny post.


[Editor's note- Your point is... -john]

December 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterG

If we're going to be quite exact, the defining characteristics of haiku as a serious form are manifold, and seldom rely merely on the syllable count. Instead, haiku rely on the use of a kigo (a seasonal word) and a kireji (a cutting word). Secondary to that, a haiku should use concrete imagery and be in the present tense. As neither kigo nor kireji translate well into English and are a little odd to incorporate natively, serious writers of haiku in English focus more on the imagery and the tense, and the tertiary characteristic of haiku (5-7-5 syllable count) is fairly fluid. Two of the leading publishers of American haiku - Frogpond and Modern Haiku - frequently include haikus which are 2 lines or 4 lines, and one of my favorite haikus ever is only 5 syllables total.

For a sense of how difficult and varied translations can be, consider visiting these 30 translations of Basho's famous frog haiku, http://www.bopsecrets.org/gateway/passages/basho-frog.htm There is also some excellent commentary which can give a reader a feel how so few words can convey so much meaning - through the kigo, primarily. Also the wikipedia page on "Haiku in English" gives a sense of this.

All this to say, it's easier to keep a mere syllable count than it is to incoporate kigo, kireji, the present tense, concrete imagery, AND the poetic image which all of those things are merely a vehicle for. and furthermore - - hey look, cake! Nom nom nom nom . . .

My face - dessert-full!
Frosting obscures my vision.
Detractors all gone.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Number one resembles two iphones with snazzy green and pink covers. Unfortunately pinky is trapped and can't escape the nasty water droplets surrounding her while greenie has launched himself into the air and will live to see another day of wrecks!

March 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLynda

Haiku Joy strikes again! ;-) LONG LIVE HAIKU JOY!!! ....and Cake Wrecks! :-)

July 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

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