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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Feb212011

Oh! So THAT's Why There's No Mail!

Today we here in the U.S. celebrate our first president's birthday.

But more importantly...

[ripping off coat to reveal red, white, and blue sequin-covered jumpsuit]

...we celebrate America.

Hit it, Christina!


Um, well, I think that's supposed to be "whose"...

"Paroles?" Is this song about a prison break?

*sigh*

I've just spent 10 seconds trying to pronounce "hallulliah," and I can't stop laughing. Help.

[regaining composure] Ahem.

And now, in honor of George Washington and the day of his birth, let's see some starfish doing the tango.

That's for you, George.

And, since some people think Washington's family crest actually helped inspire the red and white stripes on Old Glory, let's take a moment to spotlight the care and respect bakers still show our nation's flag today:

The blue waves represent the sea of our educational incompetence.

Yessir, I think ol' George would have liked these bakers, with their real American values and their real American piping bags. After all, if there's one thing real Americans know, it's the shape of their own country.

Dibs on Toronto.


Thanks to today's real American heroes Ember P., Terra F., Aziza, & Jill W.

« Bake a Cake, Diss A Vow | Main | Sunday Sweets: Wedding Wonders »

Reader Comments (129)

uncle sam would love that cake. I would love that cake. and the cake looks tasty.

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBlaine

Wha? Where are the ram parts?

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlaughingmom

*rolls on floor laughing*
Well, thank God for educational incompetence or we wouldn't have all those creative people re-designing the American flag! The sad thing is that, at this early time on a Monday morning, I really did have to think for a second...wait, what is wrong about the stripes?! LOL

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

The round flag cookies are, appropriately, showing distress --if you put the stripes the right way, they're upside down, an official distress signal.

And how did "Glory,glory..." sneak into the national anthem? Sign Wrecks!

WV: osanc. Osanc an you see, by the dawn's early light....

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

LOL and WTF at the same time XD

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

BOOM! U.S.A. killed me!

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJecka

Educational incompetence? What are you suggesting, that it's the fault of the school system?

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

well I dare ask what's more patriotic than two malformed starfish?

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter320(kbps)

Anonymous @ 10:09,

No.

john

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of JEN)

Ah reckon them's terrrrrrist starfish with them explodey vest things.

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFiredrake

"Glory glory hallullia"? I don't remember that part...

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Anon 10:09 - Only if these people went to baking school. ;)

Hallulliah
Hal-loo-lee-uh

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth C.

Christina's moonlighting as a sign- writer now?

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterracheld

Hee hee, Americans...

We're celebrating Family Day here in Canada... in winter... where we can all freeze our @$$es off together, as a family

(and before anyone is offended by my "Americans" comment, its toungue-in-cheek, as I'm originally from Memphis.....)

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertjbmurph

Are all of those spelling and grammar errors in the first few pics really from the same bakery?!? That is really really pathetic and disturbing!

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSummer

I think we should update Old Glory and go with the wavy stripes. They're modern! They're now!
I'm getting the petition ready now.

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

These had me laughing pretty hard, but I really have to give you props for the reference to Toronto being a U.S. City.

Hint: Check out Watson on Jeopardy if you don't know the reference

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Toronto is indeed a US city. Watson said so.

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Re: the last cake:
If Watson thinks Toronto is a city in the United States,then TORONTO IS A CITY IN THE UNITED STATES!!!

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@ laughingmom

I thinks that's behind "Florida"

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

tjbmurph,

HOW DARE YOU!?!?!?!?!?!?!

?!?!?!

?!

john

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of JEN)

um..."paroles FLIGHT"??? it's a two-fer!

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteralex

Oh, that Watson. I go to RPI, and that was the event of the century up here.

Seriously, though, did they subcontract Christina Aguilera to do those signs or something? Hallulliah indeed.

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJ. R. W.

I wonder if that bakery got Xtina's cue cards for cheap? They don't look like they've been in a dumpster...

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterQueen Julian XIII

Would we expect anything less from a wreckerator? They don't stop misspelling words when they put the piping bag down! *Sigh*

Just as long as Roseanne and Christina don't sing this version we'll be fine.

Hallulliah? Yep, I'm laughing too. All I heard in my head was Winnie the Pooh saying "Hallooooooo" to Princess Leah.

Just how old is that flag cake? There are only 15 stars...

ROTFLOL @ laughingmom - The ram parts will show up around July 4th and be disguised as rockets. ;-D

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

Wait, nothing about the donzerly light?

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Re: "twilight's last gleeming"

Just another example of how "Glee" (and "Twilight," for that matter) is slowly but surely taking over the universe.

WV: dysio. Dees-a cakes a-make-a me dysio.

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHRAF

You are too funny!!! I just love your comments throughout the blog!! Thanks for providing me with my daily humor!

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDani B

I can't quit laughing at the paroles flight...

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda Mac

tjbmurph said...

We're celebrating Family Day here in Canada... in winter... where we can all freeze our @$$es off together, as a family

lol not all of Canada. Here in Manitoba we are celebrating Louis Riel day where we are split on whether he's a hero or a traitor. Hmm.. I wonder what that cake would look like lol

The spelling mistakes were too funny. But the "boom boom USA" took the cupcake for me hahaha

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterL.A.C.E.

Re dibs on Toronto:

Personally I'm at the pt where I'd take Obama over McGuinty & Nextel over our Bell monopoly!

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKarin F.

oh my. i spent several seconds on hallulliah too and i still can't fathom how it's pronounced!

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Historically hysterical -- thanks for the laughs!

Reading those signs made the melodies of The Star Spangled Banner and The Battle Hymn of the Republic crash in my mind -- sort of a tune wreck.

Although it came out like something Charles Ives would have done, which is appropriately USA-ish, I guess!

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

laughingmom said...

>> Wha? Where are the ram parts?<<

Don't give the wreckorators any ideas!

Let's face it -- somewhere, in some old Cake Wrecks post, there probably are some ram parts (she said, sheepishly).

wv - recoug.

I'm not a sheep farmer, nor am I Mike Rowe -- I don't know if I'd recoug-nize ram parts when I saw them.

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

When Ramona boycotted kindergarten and then told her mother to turn on the "dawnzer", which gives a "lee-light", I laughed because it was so precious and funny and exactly what a 5-year-old might do. I laugh now at the sheer absurdity of those Christina cue cards...and also, as a Texan, I feel vaguely guilty about the whole Big Game situation, which I understand happened near Dallas. But it's a hard song, right? So, as a friend heard it when she was a child, "...or the land of the tree and the homely old brave!"
wv: amarac. "Amarac, uh, Amarac...uh, God shed his grace on thee..."

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Mindy

Boom! Bang!
Love those touches...are those fireworks or incoming?!?!
Happy day off to all of those who do not work today!

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Oh my gosh, between the signs and the comments here, I think the entire National Anthem has been rewritten. And, I'm scared!

wv: undefec - If these wreckerators would just ASK how to correctly spell something, they could undefec all their work.

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTheOneOnTheRight

just can't resist...
WV: pokete. When I see a wrecked cake, I just want to pokete!

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMomcat

that anthem kinda reminds me of the dinner prayer on National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - boredatwork

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think that the wreckarators have to be immigrants. That explains the spelling mistakes and the wrecked flag. But their lack of talent...er...I got nothing

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So which of you is wearing the red, white, and blue hot pants?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/snarkygurl/5464896865/

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersnarkygurl

the bombs bursting in hair...

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Too funny! Thanks for posting the hilarious cakes and comments--I had surgery (abdominal hysterectomy)this past Wednesday and now have 6 wks at home to recover. That's a lot of time to browse Cakewrecks! You make me laugh out loud, which kinda hurts right now, :) but I don't care! You rule.

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVicky

Oh, ya traditionalists! Always havin to have things the same 'cause "that's the way we've always done it." Bunch of old fogeys, the lot of you! Why in my day, we only had 13 stars on that flag. Ya don't see ME whining about the other 37 on there, do ya? Well, do ya?

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

If Watson says that Toronto is part of the US, well, then, that's good enough for me! XD

@ellen - yummmm, Mike Rowe.... *wipes drool off chin* sorry, got a little distracted there.

@john (the hubby of JEN) - must be a slow work day - I can't remember seeing you chime in on the comments this often!

Carmen, the Un-Stalker

WV: areseme - What guilty wreckerators say when they see a police officer, "I did it, sir. Just areseme."

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercarmiehead

We here in Yorktown Heights, NY (birthplace of Watson) are celebrating the dominance of our new leader. All hail Watson.

We went to the research facility to watch our overlord squash the humans-No cake was served.

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAimilee

I'm not American and even I can tell there's something wrong with those cakes! LOL

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

On the 4th of July last year, my bakery also had added blue stripes to the flag. I so wished I had a camera at the time so I could submit it to you.

I blame the spelling on "No Child Left Behind" education, but the decorating? Wow, just wow!

Sharon's Edible Art

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

@Karin F: Count your blessings.

@Ellen: Love the Charles Ives reference! An orchestra I was in performed "Variations on America" -- it sticks with me to this day.

Speaking of which, 'Variations on America' would be an excellent title for that last cake.

Where's the part about 'Richard Sands'? If you're going to sing the anthem, you can't leave anything out! (Tongue in cheek, folks.)

What's the real story on those signs? I missed the halftime show (thankfully, it would appear) -- did she mess up the anthem that badly? Oy...

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Correction: Washington's birthday is TOMORROW the 22nd. (My son's bday too.) Today is the recognized holiday in honor of Washington and Lincoln. Just sayin'...

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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