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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Apr052011

Move Over, Hallmark

Tired of the same ol' "Happy Birthday"s, "Congraderaultions", and "I Want Sprinkles?" Then consider these inspiring sentiments the next time you order a cake.

Perfect for the neighbor kid's party!

Assuming you're moving soon, of course.

Here's a solid, any-occasion choice:

Although it's especially effective when dropped off anonymously in the office break room.



For when the get-well and sympathy cards just seem too namby-pamby.

I'd tell you what Hipster Cake does, but it's a really obscure activity. You've probably never heard of it.

Because you can never be too specific.

I think I speak for Amy & Claudia when I say: that had better be chocolate.

There's this new "budget-friendly" home insurance plan around: It doesn't actually cover any losses, but you do get this nice cookie cake:

If only all bad news were delivered via cake. Can you imagine?

"He's breaking up with me?? Why that lousy, rotten, om nom nom ooh, hey! Raspberry filling!"


Thanks to Anony M., Kris K., Lauren M., Dawn M., Gal N., Amy D., & Melissa K., who might go back to cards after this.

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Reader Comments (80)

Can't really imagine ordering any of those exact cakes, but that PMS cake looks delicious!

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

I want a video of that emo cake cutting itself. The cake is a lie!

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLibby

ROTFL. Love, love, love this post. (I am still wiping the tears from my eyes.) I cannot believe those cakes are for real. That said, I so need to add the PMS cake to http://jtwoo.blogspot.com/2011/04/how-to-embarrass-your-teenage-daughter.html" rel="nofollow">my list of ways to embarrass your pre-teen or teenage daughter. Awesome. :-)

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJ.

What are those weird looking yellow 'Yoda-esque' floating heads on the pregnancy cake?

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterErin

The "Sorry about the herpes" cake has really gotten around, like it's gone viral or something...
*runs and ducks*

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-with-an-e

I believe the yellow Yodas are bees.

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer Alexandra

No wonder the teen got pregnant! They told them about the bees and flowers instead of the birds and the bees! ;)

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermarineof2

Ha ha! What the hipster cake does is too obscure! Hilarious! I nearly spit my coffee on the computer.

Does the pregnancy cake say Congratulations on your Teen Pregnancy? Wow. I blame MTV.

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Texas

"Emo cake cuts itself" is my new life mantra.

And is that "Sorry you got robbed" note on a cookie? If so, oh, the irony that they don't get a real cake!

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterflying gargoyle

You know, a break up cake makes an awesome substitute for a voodoo doll! Um, not saying that I know that for a fact or anything...

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMel

LOL, yes, it would be nice when "life happens" you get a cake to make it all better. Nom nom nom...

I don't know which is worse...having the words PMS or menarche?

wv: brall: Amy & Claudia are going to brall to see who gets that chocolate cake! Then afterwards, they can blame it on PMS!

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

"Emo Cake Cuts Itself" is just begging to be made into a T-Shirt! As always, you start my day off with a hearty laugh!

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenniffer

Welcome to PMS cake is hysterical. I hope they have a therapy fund set up for Amy & Claudia! LOL

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

WHAT does the third one say????? As for the rest-how embaressing O_o

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Kinda makes me want to put a "Herpes" cake in my company's break room....

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Anne-with-an-e: Your comments on the herpes cake made me laugh harder than the actual cake.

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSif

These cakes spark some excellent philosophical debate. Is it really a wreck if you get exactly what you ask for?

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

WV lotsidu: I gots lotsidu today but I can't stop lookin' at these cakes!

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMomcat

its not very pretty but i think i really love the big girl pants cake- and i may use it someday!

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterS + J =B, D & P

Oh come on...I am so tempted to order a cake that says "Sorry about the herpes" and leave it on my neighbor's doorstep.

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBlake

Emo cake is to mainstream he should try cutting other people

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I thought the "sorry you got robbed" one was a sponge. Does not look edible. My fave is the PMS cake. If only I had daughters....

Andrea

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Once again I am reminded of that Dairy Queen commercial where the narrator says "What if we made cakes for all occasions?" and it shows Dairy Queen ice cream cakes with stuff like "Parole Denied" written on them.

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSteve the Pocket

The emo cake made me laugh!

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPromise

I see nothing wrong with the "put on your big girl pants" one - I say that all the time to my chorus, lol!!

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWinona

Emo cake cuts itself....ahahah that's brilliant.

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Emo cake is awesome.

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJW

I think those are sperm on the "sorry you were robbed" cake, which means it was probably given to someone who's trying to get pregnant but hasn't so far...or maybe I've just been reading this blog too long...(as if that could ever happen!)

wv - litto: a very small slice of cake, as in "Just a litto one for me."

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

In the circles I run with, "Emo Cake" would be a big hit, actually... Hmm... I wonder what that says about us... O_o

ANYhoo...

WV - decim: A mounting body of evidence proves it's possible for a creative wreckerator to decim-ate ANY OCCASION. ANY. OCCASION.

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

I'm surprised no one's noticed the eyebrows on the Teen Pregnancy Cake bees. Like mine at the moment, they're raised... probably judgementally.

Yes, judgemental bees. I did just go there.

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJ. R. W.

The PMS cake was supposed to say 'Welcome to PM's" for a friend of mine who just started working the evening shift at her hospital. She posted it to Facebook and I told her she should submit it here, soooo funny and I'm glad to see it made it to a post :D

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLe Merveilleux Chef

I'm sorry, but I just don't get the "Emo" cake. Would someone please explain?

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

How can you possibly put on your big girl pants if you're wearing those big blue boxing gloves?

That "robbed" cookie thing looks like it's made out of Playdough, which, if my preschool memories don't fail me, tastes disgusting.

WV: ameneste - All wreckerators from today's post should hope there's a bakers' ameneste day declared soon.

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Writing Goddess

This post reminds me of the Sex & the City episode where Miranda eats the entire cookie cake all at once so she won't see the "I Love You" message staring at her anymore.

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLindz

Emo is a term used for people, usually teens, who listen to a certain type of rock music, dress a certain way, etc. They are usually "emo"tional and whine about how terrible everything is, even when wearing a $60 pair of jeans that mommy paid for. It's not untypical for an emo kid to cut oneself. It's just part of the "appeal."

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAngel

The "Sorry about the Herpes" cake is a reference to a Spongebob episode, believe it or not.

We got one that said that for my pastor on his birthday last year. He thought it was hilarious but we had a hard time explaining to all the church members why we couldn't share haha.

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSadie

This shouldn't be funny at all, but I laughed at every single one. I think my favorite is the Emo-Cake. How would you explain this to a baker and what were the bakers thinking making these cakes?

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPantone Swatches

My teenaged daughter's birthday celebration is this weekend, and I'm thinking about that emo cake…too much?

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermissoularedhead

I <3 the Emo cake!

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Bahahahaha! The emo cake is hilarious!

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I really love that "Emo" cake. That made my little goth heart bleed happy for a second....
=P

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMama Bat

Maybe it was conditioning from the first cake, but i'm reading the third one as "Pat on your big girl parts"

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEvalis

I want to believe "almost legal" was made for a law student. I REALLY want to believe this.

These are some amazing cakes. Shows you can say anything with cake.
But I have to ask what the frick are those blue blobs on the big girl pants cake? Malformed big girl pants?

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJerry

I hate the emo one. Self injury is symptomatic of serious mental illness and I hate that it's now an Internet meme on a cake. Imagine how hard it is for teens and young adults who have the serious compulsion to cut their skin, break their bones, and burn themselves to get help when everyone thinks it's just an emo thing or a cry for attention. /rant

I do love the rest of them, especially the herpes cake :)

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMandybear

I actually thought the PMS one was pretty funny...I would have much preferred cake over "The Talk." And I find the bees (aka yellow Slimers)on the teen pregnancy cake surprisingly disturbing for some reason...

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That sun, flowers and bees cake is from Costco!
Yuck!

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMicalah

Anne-with-an-e, you crack me up!

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChantelle

Made my day, especially the hipster line..

WV: Those brownies can hempa any problem.

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPandora

I've made a "sorry about the herpes" cake. It was from one frat boy to another. But the "hipster cake" reminds me of the best cake I've ever had to do (at the same job): "The shrubbery unnamed me."

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnna B.

The "cutter" cake was in INCREDIBLY poor taste. For people like me, that's like seeing a joke "cancer" cake.

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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