My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Gootchie Goos

Jen and I have been in D.C. this week to visit some friends, see the sights, and catch the plague like we do every time we leave the house. Of course, one of the best parts for me was getting to hang out with our friends' two kids, who are both as adorable as baby sloths yet have enough energy to power Detroit.

Now, we don't actually have children (unless you count the ones with claws and hairballs) but this trip has put me in a baby kind of mood. Granted, I'm as seedless as a bag of lettuce*, but indulge me, won't you?

*See also:
Sterile as a box of Band-Aids
Fruitless as a butcher shop

Technically, it's also of girl.

I think that's spelled "Toby."

You're right: "3 Times" was just silly. Much better to cross out the "s" with that exclamation point.

Ok, nobody panic. We're just gonna need some hot towels, a flashlight, and a low voltage car battery. And no sudden movements.

Well, yee-haw! Good for you, son!

And finally,

Guess Who!!

Aaaaand the baby mood is gone.

I do, however, miss my cats.

Hey Kelly R., Merideth J., Kimberly G., Danielle R., Beverly S., Anony M., Susan G., & Sarah W., is there a doctor in the house?

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Reader Comments (96)


Ob/Gyn to nurse: Sonic screwdriver, please.

wv: masedore, as in "She masedore that baby very much, no matter what he looks like!"


April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I can never unsee the last two photos. Oh god.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermaralenenok

Those are hilarious!!!

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

That last cake is just wring on so many levels

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertina

I bet the "exclamation point" on the triplets cake is supposed to be a dollar($)sign. Can you imagine?


April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

When I saw the "hello mommy" cake, I thought "OMG, she gave birth to a monkey!"

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna M.

"It's having a baby"?

Well, our cat had kittens yesterday. But doesn't anything capable of having a baby deserve to be called "she"?
Even my crayfish is a "she." (Yes, I have a pet crayfish, and, as a wreckorator might say, "It a gril.")

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

That's hilarious!

And of course, any post featuring my all-time favorite Doctor gets major geek points. Love it!

My little geeklet on the way is getting a knitted baby blanket, made in sections, each section replicates part of The Scarf. Grandma not only knits amazingly well, she's also fairly geeky too. She's been kind enough to show me the progress on the Scarf-blanket so far. It's deliciously geeky, and scrumptiously soft too.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKittyKat

You are so dang funny - and so creative! Thanks for giving me a smile every day!

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMijinjax

Bahahaha, dead ringer for number 4! I say this a lot, but... I am so showing this to my Tom Baker-loving husband! lol

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

My husband likes to say that he is "just like a sunkisk orange-all juice and no seed"

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteremain

All I can say, as a cake artist and pastry chef, when you pay $11.99 for a cake at a chain store that only cares about its profit - you deserve what you get...

Signed: A struggling pastry chef who has yet to spell someone's name incorrectly (because I actually care about my customers...)

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Babies not being my thing, I was only mildly amused until the last cake. Then I fell out of my chair laughing. I hope workers' comp covers this...

WR: sinserac: "Sinserac, may I go to lunch now?" [sorry, best I can do with a concussion]

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGreat Aunt Maude

Looks like cake #2 got rushed out the door before it was finished. It needs more stuff on it. Or maybe it was supposed to say "to be continued".

I heard "Molly It's having a baby" read in a terrified voice. Even the lettering looks scared.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

eatting honey vanilla greek yogurt and reading today's post does NOT go well together.

Thanks for my daily chortle :0)

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

Bah. You should have told me you're coming to DC. I'd love to have taken you two out to dinner. If you're still around for a couple of days and have time, let me know. Besides, I need slave labor to help me get ready for my wedding next weekend. (oh wait, did I say slave labor? I mean help, yes help!)

These were another awesome set of wrecks! I wondered though if the ! over the S was supposed to be a $, so it's like Ke$ha. How tragic would that be?

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

That last cake and its Time Lord doppelgänger made me evaporate in fits of laughter! I'm going to spend the whole day giggling...

WV: in "That last cake was a shock to my sysms!"

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDenita TwoDragons

I'm going to be walking funny all day at the thought of having that scarf chafing its way out down there. So...thanks for that. Ow.

*waddles away*

PS Admit it, you two want the sloths because they're cute AND appear to be bearing insta-weapons on each hand, but then they only use them for more cuteness.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

Loved the Molly one. Too bad for the spelling because the first one was really pretty.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdorably Dead

I think Cake #2 is supposed to read: "Congratulations on your baby-to-be" as in zygote. Weird way to announce or celebrate a pregnancy if you ask me.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

I totally think the "3 times!" is supposed to be indicating a $, not very subtly. That thought (3 times the $) would be pretty high on my list if I were expecting triplets! First on my list would be how to explain to DH since he's so kindly been snipped. LOL

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRoseAnn

*humming* Yes, she's once, twice, three times a baby...

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterViiriäinen

The last cake looks like a woman giving birth to a woman! That cake will just never be ok...ever!

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStacy

OMG who is that a picture of????? As for the rst all I can say is O_o AND D:

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Extra cool points for the Doctor pic at the end. I was hoping for a DW reference today, too! :)

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

No wonder she looks surprised - that's the wrong kind of doctor to be rootling around down there!

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

It's of it!!! And is that a monkey in the last cake??? Having a baby? I dunno, I was just monkeying around and now this.... All these cakes need clown heads!!!! Sorry...still traumatized by that day's cakes......

wv - noreaddi: unprepared

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

last one scared me something awful!

and maybe they meant to put It's a Girl - 3 times the $ - because having two girls myself... that's at least accurate.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterT

Make that last doctor number 9, and I am allllllllllllll for that cake!

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I apparently am not geeky enough to have a clue who the dude is, so enlighten, please, fellow poster, this doofus who has no geek stripes.

wv: visheole. A small stringed instrument that is a hybrid of a viola, washboard and ukulele. "The sad clown strummed his visheole." Sorry for the nightmares this induce for some of you. Drink some warm milk.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLinda in Louisville

As a mother of twins, that is most definitely supposed to be "Girl 3 Time$"...multiples are more $$$, and multiple girls, even more $$$ so!


April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG! Molly! Run for your life!

Also, may I just say I LOVED Tom Baker as Dr. Who? (There, I said it. Though I was also quite fond of Peter Davison.)

And if I had attended a baby shower where that last cake had been served, I would have never bothered with infertility treatment. (Btw, never heard the phrase "As sterile as a box of Band-Aids" before. Nice.)

Another awesome post (exclamation point three times)

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJ.

My morning could not be complete without that picture of Tom Baker.

Morning accomplished.

WV - manizat: Manizat doctor sexy or what?

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRue

It's not Toby, it's KUNTA KINTE.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmie

So I'm confused, does Jen not do this blog anymore, has she deligated this blog to her husband because she's more interested in the other blog she does?

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJeffrey Poulin

I'm a little surprised that no one has offered their... pulp...
Though I imagine your readers are mostly geeky girls and cake lovers, so we are also unable to provide pulp.

And now that I have seen the last cake I am kinda hoping husband is pulpless as well! Yikes!

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth C.

These are hilarious, but the icing on the cake (no pun least, not completely intended) is the Doctor Who reference at the end! Tom Baker's smile does kind of terrify me. Thank you so much for never failing to make me smile!!!

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLN

I'm so glad my husband didn't know there was a DW option, or he would have had me birthing a Baker (scarf and all)!

WV: tedendia - My husband has a tedendia to be a bit obsessive about Doctor Who.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbirdmommy

'Cause you're Once, Twice, Three times . . . the money?

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdrumnate

exterminate these cakes sincerely the daleks

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hahaha so silly,,,I really enjoyed reading your posts.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAustralia

That last cake and the many previous baby-parts/belly cakes has led me to release a fatwa/edict/diktat declaring that if ever I were to have a children (not counting the four-legged barking kind) that there is to be no celebration of this event.
Not with cake.
Unless the cake only has baby carrot jockeys. Those are awesome!

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

Regarding Jeffrey Poulin @ 11:42 AM...

Maybe you should look at yesterday's posting.... just a suggestion.

WV: quize. If this was a quize, Jeff failed it.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG. That Tom Baker/Hello Mommy thing just had me choking on laughter here at work!

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I gave my roommate a knitted Dalek for her birthday yesterday - I think I need to borrow it back for that last cake...

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterViolaNut

I, too, am SHOCKED that Jen hasn't posted since...yesterday...oh, um...

Anyway, I love the "I's a Boy" and "Molly It's Having a Baby" cakes. I thought I couldn't chuckle at baby cakes anymore, but those were hilarious.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

The second is probably exactly the message the customer wanted. They consider a fetus or embryo a "baby to be."

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

I want the baby slothes!

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Look at the angle of Mom's feet on that last cake. It's flipper!

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJillian

@ Gary,

There is one exception to that rule: the seahorse. With seahorses, it's the MALE that gives birth, not the female. The female transfers her eggs into the male, and then it's up to the male to bring the offsprings into the (ocean) world.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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