My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Gootchie Goos

Jen and I have been in D.C. this week to visit some friends, see the sights, and catch the plague like we do every time we leave the house. Of course, one of the best parts for me was getting to hang out with our friends' two kids, who are both as adorable as baby sloths yet have enough energy to power Detroit.

Now, we don't actually have children (unless you count the ones with claws and hairballs) but this trip has put me in a baby kind of mood. Granted, I'm as seedless as a bag of lettuce*, but indulge me, won't you?

*See also:
Sterile as a box of Band-Aids
Fruitless as a butcher shop

Technically, it's also of girl.

I think that's spelled "Toby."

You're right: "3 Times" was just silly. Much better to cross out the "s" with that exclamation point.

Ok, nobody panic. We're just gonna need some hot towels, a flashlight, and a low voltage car battery. And no sudden movements.

Well, yee-haw! Good for you, son!

And finally,

Guess Who!!

Aaaaand the baby mood is gone.

I do, however, miss my cats.

Hey Kelly R., Merideth J., Kimberly G., Danielle R., Beverly S., Anony M., Susan G., & Sarah W., is there a doctor in the house?

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Reader Comments (96)

So needed this... thanks for the laughs. I think I need a low voltage car battery now.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterYogaGal in the NW

I love the look on the Mommy! If the "drape" were larger, it would look more like a porn cake...Just sayin

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Tom Baker! I'll make sure my husband sees this episode of Cakewrecks.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

I love you guys! I have had the worst day and reading this made me smile. Thank you!


April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOL, thanks so much I needed that laugh today and the Doctor Who reference at the end, even better!

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Doctor who?

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Do you think maybe the Cake Wrecks website is influencing the way people write on their cake order forms? I would predict that some people take the lesson to heart and write exceptionally clearly, double-checking their own spelling and avoiding any possibly dubious requests. But the flip side of my hypothesis is that other people have learned of the unintentional hilarity of a cake wreck, and thereby fill out their forms sloppily, with parenthetical notes, little pictures and odd line breaks, just waiting to see what the wreckerator will make of it.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

My Dalek clock and I loved this post! I knew Dr.Who could be worked into any situation!!

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly G.

The Tom Baker picture put me in a Dr. Who mood. I looked at the baby sloths and they are sooo cute!!

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Am I the only person on the x3 cake to see little boxing gloves?

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Dr. Who is priceless btw. :)

My husband and I refer to our two cats as the boys.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi D

"Pulp-free" nearly made me spit coffee on my keyboard.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered Commentershadow

Bet that Dr. Who hair tickles on the way out!

Of boy? Isn't she a character from The Handmaid's Tale?

And the Molly cake made me think of the the birth-in-the-back-seat scene in Men in Black.

wv - uronso

Uronso good a roll, CW team -- don't stop now!

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

Laughed out loud!

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMicalah

I think you censored the wrong part of that last picture.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmydove

Hey Jeff,

Actually, Jen has one of the worst colds I've ever seen so I did this post this morning to give her a break. So we're clear, Jen does nearly every post and heavily edits anything that I or Number 1 write.

If anything suffers, it's the post frequency on EPBOT. CW is Jen's baby.

I'd write more, but Jen is coughing up a lung in the bedroom and I have to go tell her to be funny.


I was waiting for you to say something about how it's bigger on the inside....

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMama Bat

What is wrong with that last cake? "Baby cake? Well, then we must have a naked lady!"

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPixie

Some of those cakes make you wonder just who here in America can really spell? The one with the "It's a girl" 3 times; was probably supposed to say 3 time$...then it's funny AND makes sense.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Linda in Louisville -- You may have gotten it from context by now, but the fellow in the last picture is Tom Baker, who played the fourth incarnation of The Doctor in the very long running, very popular British SF series, Doctor Who.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Why do none of these cake moms giving birth have a gown on?! Or a t-shirt? Or something?!

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterros

I think it's safe to assume that the babies in said mothers' stomachs reached out and wrote these cakes themselves. It's the only logical way to explain the spelling and grammar, don't you think?

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLAX Car Service

I hope Jen feels better soon (and that it doesn't involve hospitals like the trip to Texas)!
Great wrecks, today, too! That first one would have been a nice cake, and the last one was truly scary!

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

Before I read the caption on the last one, I thought it was a stripper giving birth to a chimpanzee. Did anyone else see a monkey baby there?

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTracey in NH

Huh- John can't go to TX and Jen can't go to the nation's capitol...(prepares to run & hide) Two of the places in this country with the loudest blowhard populations!! (TEE HEE) Hope you both feel better soon.

-Barbara Anne

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Pulp free. PULP FREE!! hahahaha!!! I could barely get past that part I was laughing so hard!

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Pulp free.....*snickering*

Cats are of pretty dang amazing, aren't they?

April 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay

I would be shocked too if a full grown person came out of me like it appears to in that last cake. Bleh. Whoever keeps making cakes like that one must really not want to have a baby lol. Must try to unsee what cannot be unseen by that evil photo alone.. nightmare city here I come.

April 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

#1 "It's of Boy" -- why do I hear Natasha saying that.

#2 "I TOLD you we should have waited a few more weeks to order the cake!"

#3 I also vote for $. Not that I get paid to vote, but I vote for the last character being a '$'. Love that monochromatic frosting.

#4 'Molly It's Having a Baby' sounds like something from Dr. Demento's library.

#5 "I's A Boy"?! Does that bakery have a 'Ready in 10 seconds or it's free' promotion? What is going on at the top of this mess?

#6 This is at least 17 kinds of wrong, all tied for first place. My first thought was 'Curious George gets a little too curious.' But then I clicked (why did I DO that?), saw that 'baby' has eyes on the top of her (?) head and the universe made sense once more. What's with the feet? And a serious proportioning problem up top. I would have put the censor bar over the whole thing and called it a day. Thanks for the mammaries...

April 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I think the woman on the last cake was giving birth to a monkey...

WV: Even my sistsis wouldn't want to eat that cake!

April 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

The Doctor! That made my morning!

April 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterYoshimay

I think the "Molly, It's having a Baby" cake was really thoughtful. If I found out "It" was having a baby, I'd definitely want a piece of cake to soften the blow.

For some reason, that cake is making me think of a really creepy story by Jerome Bixby called "It's a GOOD Life." Yes, Anthony just disappeared half the town to the cornfield, but... there's cake!!!

I hope you both feel better soon --if I could, I'd send you a "Sorry about the Mucus" cake.

April 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn in Superior

It's definitely supposed to be "baby-to-be" on that one cake.

April 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

I feel an Epcot coming on!$

Duck and cover people, duck and cover!

April 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I'm checking in late, but still had to comment. Just wanted to say, John, that I'm glad you are keeping Jen in line. She'd better be coughing funny. Maybe the lung that comes up will resemble Tom Baker, too. Now that would be funny!

wv: entusi I love checking entusi what laughs CW has in store for me daily!

April 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjillb-ilslp

That last one totally proves my theory of reverse evolution!

April 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

I cannot be the first to see Tom Baker in conjunction with baby cakes and think:

"Jelly baby?"

And you call yourselves nerds!

April 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMad Cooper

Thank you for changing "see the sites" to "see the sights". Gotta get the right homonym!

April 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous


That's what I get for doing a post an hour ahead of time and not having Jen proofread it.

Oddly enough, it took me a long time to start referring to places on the internet as "sites." It just seemed wrong. Ah well...


Given the three pairs of booties on #3, I think it should have said:

It a gril!
It a gril!
It a gril!

Could be worse. Could be raining Tom Bakers.


April 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

ahaha, I get it, because he's Tom BAKER! :D

April 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLK

Ah -Ha!! no one else has noticed that the "bow" on No1 is actually a squid! possibly a huge giant one, or maybe a baby Kraken??
The Dr is back on our screens here in the UK trailing the 6 new episodes that begin at Easter, yipee!!
My eldest son and I are now looking forward to introducing his baby boy Thor-Alan to geekery ,Thunderbirds and Stingray,Dr Who, Star Trek, Star Wars...what treasures await :)
and Daisies.

April 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

Well, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get my paranoid internet security guard to let me see the baby sloths! BAH! Fooey!
But did it block that horrible monkey/Who baby? Or the Doctor? No. Time to get new guard.
And WHY are all these "new mother" cakes adorned with strippers who have mated with alien life forms?
*washing eyes*
O God I still see it

wv: Love the Sunday sweets wedding cakes verecha or poora.

PS: Eccleston rules

--Blondie's Mom

April 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

To Tracey in NH:
(I have got to be more timely in my reading/posting)
Yes, that was definitely a stripper giving birth to some kind of chimpanzee hybrid
--Blondie's Mom

April 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Gary - kittens are great. You should really think about getting your cat spayed soon. It lowers your pets risk of cancer and also .. 4 to 5 million pets are euthanized a year because there are not enough homes. Have a great day!

April 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My uncle in-law told me he's a "Florida orange, all the juice with out the seeds". He's not a handsome man and I will never be able to get that image out of my mind.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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