My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Tae Kwon "DO'H!"

Approach, students.

You have come to me asking that I be your guide along this tale of Wreckage, but first I should mention that little Kyle here is taking Tae Kwon Do:

I should also probably stop calling him "little" Kyle.

After all, he could be earning his "Black Blet:"

(Presumably by doing step aerobics.)

Or, he might look like this:

(And wouldn't that be a boot to the head?)

Or - OR - he might know 6-year-old Mercedes here:

And, shoot, that's one little pistol I aim to avoid.
(I hear she's got a hair-trigger temper.)

Thanks to Heather H., Heather D., Liz M., and Kelsey E., for today's round of bullet points. Now, let us rejoin the mind to the body and meditate upon this wisdom.

And maybe sing a little.

Nyaa nyaa!

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Reader Comments (72)

@ sendingtheclowns 3:00pm

No offense meant. Only point was, since the guns are actually sort of well done, perhaps it is a wreck because Mercedes is not 6, but 60 (or 16, 26, 65?).

I don't know why it wouldn't be a wreck if it was for a boy but it is for a girl. That's why I wonder what was requested when the cake was ordered.

Happy Monday, y'all!


May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Do you take tae kwon do or are you just happy to see me?

Six years old seems a little young for Mercedes to be learning about feminine protection, but maybe that's just me. Some parents like to teach their kids the facts of life early.

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Certainly I wasn't the only one in school who learned how to write the letters LAO connected together then turn the paper upside down and laugh at your perverse stick man. That's real education, people.

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Perhaps Mercedes is a guard in the 6th Block at Supermax (the one where they've got the Unibomber locked up). Or it's the 6th birthday she has spent locked up there for arms smuggling.

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Michelle, I'm sitting here at work and had to try your LAO trick...
took me a minute then I laughed my butt off!
Almost got me fired, thanks a lot! ;)

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first one isn't all that bad...

wv: phawnis. I come to Cake Wrecks each day for my daily dose of the phawnis.

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is it just me or does the second cake read "Black Blet" ?? LOL!

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have a 5 year old son who loves guns, but I am not a stupid enough mother to have it put on a cake. Too easily mistaken for a gang banger instead of a hunter/fan of the Army guys.

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNancy Pants

Ed Gruberman... Boot to the head! Damn, it's been years!

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

Anonymous said...
@ sendingtheclowns 3:00pm

"... perhaps it is a wreck because Mercedes is not 6, but 60...I don't know why it wouldn't be a wreck if it was for a boy but it is for a girl."

Whadda ya tryin' to DO here, make me THINK???
I wasn't offended; I was being silly, silly.
And point taken about the sexist-ness of the "girl cake" V. "boy/man" cake. INteresting, that.
Why SHOULDN'T little girls be armed!?
Why SHOULDN'T they have what the boys have always had??

(And why CAN'T we pee standing up???)

So many questions; so little interest left...after all, sometimes a cake is just a cake.

This sure is fun, though, isn't it?


May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

4 guns and a grenade for you, Mercedes! You go, Mercedes! And none for Kyle! Bye!

wv condu: I think I'll just stay here in my condu and eat cake.

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMizKit

I found a website you'll "love"... tee hee please, check it out. i almost peed myself when i saw it and thought of you immediately!!

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTruth

Is Mercedes going to be a professional assassin when she grows up? Unless she is already lol. Wow..just when I thought cake couldn't get any scarier up pops a sumo wrestling one..horror.

May 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Maybe there were TWO dudes in the office named "Blet" and one of them was black. Or recently burned.

May 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdina

Maybe the last cake is for a car, and the arsenal is how the car made it 6 years without being stolen?

The trigger in the upper left does have a serious problem -- unless it's a Kevorkian Special.

Maybe the back story is that Mercedes is a fan of Hello Kitty. I know Hello Kitty makes me think of weapons. No, Hello Kitty makes me look for a weapon. Yeah, that's it.

I kid. I kid the Kitty.

May 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Ok, except for the fact that the gun cake is for a 6-year-old, that's an AWESOME cake! I totally know what I want for my next birthday cake! Showed it to mom last night (who does all our cakes if they aren't from DQ) so she knows what to make for me. :-)

On another note, is it so terribly wrong of me to almost hope that every time someone I know orders a cake it turns out to be a wreck just so I can take a picture of it and send it in? Should I be ashamed of myself?

May 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

I've met lots of 6 year olds who would totally want a cake with lots of guns and bombs on it. Mostly they are boys, but it wouldn't surprise me at all to meet a girl who liked that sort of thing too, especially if she had a brother. And mostly I think their parents would try and steer them towards other subjects for a cake, but I think some parents just give up on banning gun and warrior games and hope the kids grow out of it. Children can do worse things than pretending to shoot each other after all. So I don't think it's all that odd if the customer really did order a gun cake for a six year old. Maybe they were hoping for a more Looney Tunes style armoury or something though? And the fact that it ended up looking so realistic and assassin like and generally inappropriate for a small kid is why it ended up on Cake Wrecks? Or maybe they really wanted it like that and it's in the same league as the pregnant belly cakes and the split down the middle twin cakes and the deers on fire...

The one above it is scary though! What is it supposed to be? A undead clown who's had an accident in his pants? Whatever it is, I think it's interesting that they chose pink as the most suitable background colour for it. Pink is a colour we all associate with zombie clown martial artists after all.

May 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJuniper

Maybe it is to Mercedes FROM the 6th--military unit, maybe Marines?

May 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

WTF? What is with the gun cake for a six-year-old? I hope someone didn't actually order it that way! Maybe it's supposed to be 60th? Nope, still doesn't make sense.

May 25, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I totally forgot until I checked my Frantics' CD that "Boot to the Head" was preceded by "Ti Kwan Leep", which intro'd the concept of Boot to the Head.
Jen, if you were aware of this, I bow down and prostrate myself in front of your awesomeness.
But you are amazing anyway for your awesome reference!
(can never overstate the awesomeness)

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

You just quoted Dr Demento. I LOVE YOU!!! LOL

July 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterApril

Does anyone else see Black Blot instead of Black Belt in the second one? Or am I insane

September 24, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteranonymous

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