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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Aug172011

The REAL King Cake

In honor of the 34th anniversary of his death yesterday, I'd like to do an Elvis post. However, I realize many of our younger readers may not be familiar with The King. So listen up, whipper snappers! Picture an older, more talented, better looking, Southern Justin Bieber wearing a white, bedazzled jumpsuit.

...

Also, he may or may not be dead.

...

Maybe don't picture that part.

 

Right. All together now? Then let's get started!

 

This is Elvis:

Rawr! Ffft ffft...

 

This...

...is not Elvis.  I'm thinking either Ray Liotta or Wayne Newton.

 

Elvis:

Not Elvis:

John claims this looks like Jimmy Durante. It's like I don't even know who he is anymore. (John, I mean. Jimmy I had to wiki.)

 

Elvis:

 

Um...

I'm going with Liza Minelli.

 

Elvis:

Oh! Wait! I know this one!

The Brawny paper towel guy!

 

And finally, Elvis:

Annnnnd:

Queen Amidala. Or maybe one of the guys from Menudo. (Thanks, John!)

No, no, I'm staying with Amidala.

 

Thanks to Paula H., Diana C., Connie B., and Chrissy K. who are all, collectively, nuthin' but hound dogs. And oh! The crying! ALL the TIME! Enough, already!

Ah thank you. Thankyouverramuuuch.

 

Update from john: The Munsters!  The last one looks like the kid from The Munsters!  I knew it was something with an "M" from my childhood.  Thanks comment section.

« It's Kind of a Cross Between "Shushing" and "Churning" | Main | Book Wrecked »

Reader Comments (138)

I'm thinking the brawny towel guy cake is actually: Tom Jones/Brawny towel guy as Mr. Scott of the USS Enterprise. if you squint hard enough he looks like he's in the original Starfleet shirt. Beam Me outta here!

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJamie Jo

I thought Jocelyn Wildenstein when I saw cake #3.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaTicketLady

I think SuBee won.

Wayne Liotta looks to be the result of someone taking the "Elvis was an extraterrestrial" theory to its logical conclusion.

Mr. Tater-Salad-and-Chex-Mix seems to be missing part of his skull; perhaps he lost it and his left ear at the same time.

Below that, Dr. Frank-N-Furter ("Love Me Tender," indeed) is either an oral cancer victim or a bleached yam.

Brawny Paper Towel Elvis has the distinction of looking more-or-less like a drawing of a healthy human being, smugly oblivious to the rain of moldy lemons that will soon descend upon him.

And poor Eddie Munster has the worst case of scoliosis I've ever seen; but if his eyes are any indication, he's in no pain.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

#3 is Marilyn Manson. Anybody can see that!

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNo Capes

I think Brawny guy is actually a young Andrew "Dice" Clay, and thats bad enough!

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpjspatz

Is nobody else freaked out by the taxidermy blue eyes in the first cake? They just SHINE soooo.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNorine

The first cake totally looks like Benedict Cumberbatch!

Yes, that is his real name. No, I did not just look through 8 pages of google image search results. In unrelated news, if you want to compare, I highly recommend the first 8 pages of google image search results.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFanGirl

Cake #2 is Shia LaBeouf in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Cake #5 is Jack Soo. Definitely. Jack Soo.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTA

The first one looks like the love child of Christopher Walken and John Travolta.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTeri

To jon: Don't worry, I'm 24 and yes I think it does look like Jimmy Durante, I love his movies

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSam

I think that last one looks like Eddie Munster. lol

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMommaT

The one you said looks like hte brawny guy looks WAY more like Danny Zuko. Case in point (about 40 seconds in):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtOmKaVbP_A

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

GAWWWWD! That second cake...he looks like a cross between Nicholas Cage and Adrian Brody! BWAHAHAHA

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterScott

Forget "A Hunka Hunka Burnin' Love!"... these cakes need to be killed with fire! Someone please find a creme brulee torch... or a flame thrower.. heck, I'll settle for Emperor Palpaptine and his Evil Force Lightning!

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercq85

The first one looks like a young version of John Travolta. (I'm old!)

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBeckie

No. 4 is defo LIberace

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

The eyes on the first one absolutely creep me out.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarahD

Elvis Durante totally looks like Larry Hankin! http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0359969/

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterUsagi

The first is definitely Christopher Walkin.

The others, I have no words.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

The last one looks like Dracula in his hay day!

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterL.

That first one... wow. "Elvis Attacked by Coral Snake!" Weekly World News worthy! The King's turning in his grave (or is he!?) at these heinous cakes. Someone needs to tell the wreckoraters, "Don't Be Cruel..."

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLiz D

The Jimmy Durante one looks like Serge Gainsbourg to me (you probably never heard of him, just like I had never heard of Jimmy Durante...)

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbluefairy

Oh, come on - the last one could totally be fat Elvis!

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Are those donuts on the Brawny Guy cake???

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCourtney

Cake #4: I'm thinking Eddie Munster

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle

bluefairy -
Until a few minutes ago, I had no idea who Serge Gainsbourg was, but after a little help from google, I have to agree. That cake definitely is supposed to be Serge Gainsbourg.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Nothing like Elvis!...Looks like Lisa Minelli!

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarie Mann 1

The first cake is OBVIOUSLY Lou Diamond Phillips in 'La Bamba'!

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercreechonwheels

Oh my sweet and fluffy Lord, that third cake looks Madame! That puppet was terrifying, much like that cake.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

The Liza Minelli one could also be Cruella De Vil.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

The last one is Gertrude Stein. Or at least Kathy Bates as Gertrude Stein in Midnight in Paris. Trust me.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKath Foley

On the Brawny cake, I'm going to guess pretzels... no, wait, waffles! Definitely waffles. Chocolate drizzled waffles.
Now that a lot of people have mentioned it, cake #1 definitely is Christopher Walken. I thought it was kinda creepy.... And I definitely do NOT see Donnie Osmond. Anywhere.
Proving that I'm waaay older than Jen, I didn't have to google/wiki anything. I'm assuming that John is just naturally gifted.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

John Travolta for the first and Cher for the third.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

The last cake looks like Dracula

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMandi

Not Jimmy Durante...Don Knotts.... that definately looks like Don Knotts.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlori

I think the first one is Ray Liotta and Wayne Newton's baby.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSusan A.

I've got two guesses for cake # 4 - #1 Tom Jones and #2 Johnny Mathis. Sorry if anyone has to Wiki them.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

(first off, your captions crack me up. seriously.)

And thank you for posting those yummy pics- and I'm not talking about the cakes ;)

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Cake #1: Definitely Ray Liotta, but playing the role of Dracula
Cake #2: Don Knotts in the secret original Star Trek pilot wherein he portrays Mr. Spock
Cake #3: A grand piano that has sustained extreme fire damage.
Cake #4: Could never be mistaken for anyone other than the Brawny man
Cake #5: Mulan

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjaybeebird

I thought the first cake had vampire written all over it!

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJane

I think the last one looks like Epcot.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPeg

That first one looks more like Christopher Walken than Ray Liotta or Wayne Newton

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKirsten Athena

I need to show these to my mum! She'll despair of the cake decorating skills, be mesmerised by the Elvis photos - and probably never ask me for an Elvis cake!!! :D

Then again, my mum is such an Elvis fan, she might not appreciate the humour of the wrecks...

...but I'll take that risk!

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterleesa

I think the last one looks like Bela Lugosi in his Dracula days...

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

SuBee! You are a genius! I never thought of using my google goggles for cake wrecks! Awesomeness! I'm off to the archives!

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaryB

I definitely see Christopher Walken in that first one!

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVanessa

I thought the first one sorta looked like a young Silvio Dante from The Sopranos....

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

For those of us in the Memphis area, thanks for insuring we are assailed with Elvis at all possible turns. 'Cause we weren't quite mired enough in Elvis week hoopla. Love the wrecks and you're totally right about the Brawny guy one. I said Brawny guy before I read your opinion.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Great post!
Is that a tie, scarf, or a coral king snake? and why???
Broken nose Spock with a priest collar?
Totally Liza.
What's with the orange slices drizzled in chocolate? That was almost nice except for those random orange slices. Almost.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarnieB

The last one is definitely Bollywood actor Aamir Khan.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPhil

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