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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Aug172011

The REAL King Cake

In honor of the 34th anniversary of his death yesterday, I'd like to do an Elvis post. However, I realize many of our younger readers may not be familiar with The King. So listen up, whipper snappers! Picture an older, more talented, better looking, Southern Justin Bieber wearing a white, bedazzled jumpsuit.

...

Also, he may or may not be dead.

...

Maybe don't picture that part.

 

Right. All together now? Then let's get started!

 

This is Elvis:

Rawr! Ffft ffft...

 

This...

...is not Elvis.  I'm thinking either Ray Liotta or Wayne Newton.

 

Elvis:

Not Elvis:

John claims this looks like Jimmy Durante. It's like I don't even know who he is anymore. (John, I mean. Jimmy I had to wiki.)

 

Elvis:

 

Um...

I'm going with Liza Minelli.

 

Elvis:

Oh! Wait! I know this one!

The Brawny paper towel guy!

 

And finally, Elvis:

Annnnnd:

Queen Amidala. Or maybe one of the guys from Menudo. (Thanks, John!)

No, no, I'm staying with Amidala.

 

Thanks to Paula H., Diana C., Connie B., and Chrissy K. who are all, collectively, nuthin' but hound dogs. And oh! The crying! ALL the TIME! Enough, already!

Ah thank you. Thankyouverramuuuch.

 

Update from john: The Munsters!  The last one looks like the kid from The Munsters!  I knew it was something with an "M" from my childhood.  Thanks comment section.

« It's Kind of a Cross Between "Shushing" and "Churning" | Main | Book Wrecked »

Reader Comments (138)

The last one is almost certainly Lea De Laria.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMike

My take:

Given the shape of his head, #1 has to be the love child of Christopher Walken and one of the gray aliens. With a broken nose.

For #2, Serge Gainsbourg is a good match, but my brain keeps insisting that there's a pen-and-ink self-portrait of Vincent Van Gogh out there somewhere that strongly resembles this (see the way the hair unnaturally covers the ear? hee hee). However, Google Images isn't showing me anything close. And it's the wrong ear anyway.

#3 is certainly a portrait of Wayland Flowers' puppet Madame, but I think it also resembles Charles Pierce doing Tallulah Bankhead.

For #4, I'll go with the Brawny guy. Again, my brain is poking me with vague memories of some overheated outdoorsman in a newspaper comic strip, a la "Steve Canyon", but I can't find anything close.

#5 is Eddie Munster, but he's possessed by something that's attacking his irises and pupils. Eventually he'll have featureless white eyes like Annie, Sandy, and Daddy Warbucks.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMr. Goodwraith

I am getting a total Christopher Walken vibe off that first cake.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Fabulous post! As a former Memphian, I applaud the commentary! In a side note, the 2011 Memphis in May World Championship Barbecue Cooking Contest features a picture of a pig, in profile, wearing iconic Elvis sunglasses. The caption? "Thank 'cue. Thank 'cue very much." Sheer brilliance. Also, if you have never attended Elvis week in Memphis you have to do it just once to say you have done it . There is not another experience like it in the world. Totally normal upstanding people with regular jobs like accountant, teacher, lawyer, judge (yes I met one once!), etc. walk around in be-spangled shirts emblazoned with sayings such as "Hunk-a Hunk-a Burning Love", "Love Me Tender", "Elvis Forever", well, I think you get the picture. What fun! Beale Street becomes even MORE fun than usual. In related events, Graceland has a contest/display for fan related Elvis art. You have not lived until you have seen the profile of Elvis done in dry beans and/or pasta. I totally see a Cakewrecks event spin-off happening here...

Actually, some of the art is pretty amazing and I personally will step on the toes of anyone who makes fun of Elvis or Elvis week. Heh. I enjoyed Elvis week the ten years I lived there. (Except the awful traffic. The City of Memphis actually has to shut down the street in front of Graceland for some of the events.)

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMargot

I died at the Brawny paper towel guy!

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMeghan

Elvis is not dead: he just went home.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnn Onimous

Ok, Cake #1 looked more like a deranged John Travolta (without the proper chin) and Cake #2 looked like Christopher Walken to me. Which, really, is not a compliment to either of those men LOL

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJules

That can't be Wayne Newton - he's not orange enough!

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLisa P.

#1 is an alien in a Christopher Walken mask with a coral snake biting it's neck. See the little decorations on the collar? It's the equivalent of silver oak leaves in the Army. Yes, this is an alien lieutenant colonel. (Saluting him/her/it is optional.)

#2 is Jason Priestly or Luke Perry. Duh.

#3 Cousin It's senior picture (which explains his later hair style)

#4 the Brawny guy in a Bruce Campbell mask.

#5 Madame Butterfly

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

I don't see the brawny guy - I see OJ......

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Mr. Goodwraith:

You don't mean Mark Trail, do you? Only because a) he's the only comic strip outdoorsman I can think of, and b) now that you mention it, Cake #4 DOES look like him.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

@ Mr. Goodwraith: Are you perhaps thinking of Mark Trail? Because I can kind of see it.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Thank you, jaybeebird! I thought I was the only one who saw Mulan in the last one. It doesn't hurt that the person is wearing what looks like a kimono...

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

I saw Andrew Dice Clay in the one you thought was the Brawny towel guy.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

The first one reminds me of John Travolta somehow.

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkbirdcarr

Hahaha...Liza Minelli. You crack me up, Jen.
I'm going with Christopher Walken for the first cake.

August 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKati

Seeing these makes me SO happy that I ended up with a NON wreck when i ordered my grandma an Elvis Cake! Phew!

August 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMellyG

Wow.. just..wow. I am nearly speechless looking at the Elvis cakes lol. I am however drooling just a bit at the actual pictures of him. The cakes on the other hand would give me a few nightmares and possibly make me want to avoid all the bakeries that made these. Heck can't they just use edible paper.. lol.

August 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I plump for Billy Bob Thornton in The Man Who Wasn't There for #2. Spittin' image.

August 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterViv

The first cake is great! I love Johnny Cash!

August 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBigMomma

OK, what the heck is on the back of that 2nd to last cake? It looks like bagels lined up across the top?? Gross Brawny paper towel man, gross.

August 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

The last one looks like E. Honda from Street Fighter!

August 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I see a botched Benedict Cumberbatch in the first cake... the way he looks in "Sherlock" anyway.

Like this:
http://www.google.com/imgres?q=benedict+cumberbatch+sherlock&hl=en&sa=X&gbv=2&biw=1024&bih=561&tbm=isch&tbnid=UeaG3g5M11APJM:&imgrefurl=http://nicegirlstv.com/2010/10/28/nice-boy-of-the-week-benedict-cumberbatch/&docid=RgtFgRQd7Tz7qM&w=300&h=225&ei=LSxNTsrLCITW0QHClen8Bg&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=275&page=2&tbnh=117&tbnw=141&start=15&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:15&tx=139&ty=63

August 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLuthien

Cake Number Three is clearly Count Chocula.

http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/298794-count_chocula.jpg

August 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterwehe

These are all ghastly. But the second one looks like it was drawn in the style of Aeon Flux.

All hail Elvis Goodchild!

August 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

The last cake? I'm going with Eddie Munster.

August 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJ.J.W.B.

The first one is Don Knotts as Mr. Roper on Three's Company. I'm not sure if should wonder why you would want that on a cake or why you wouldn't want that on a cake.

August 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDamon

My daughter (6) looked at all of these pictures and said, "Uh...why are people trying to make him look so ugly?" She's six...and she gets it...why can't they??? ;-)

August 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAimee

I was thinking the second one looks like Jay Baruchel. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0059431/

August 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

The first one is a little Julie Andrews in Victor/Victoria...

August 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

I agree with previous posts. The first one looks like a young Christopher Walken. Which isn't a bad idea, really. I'd love a Chrisopher Walken cake!

August 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJolene Veenstra

I don't know if it is just me but that first cake screams "Christoper Walken," and not in a good way!

August 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNicole Stott

No way, that last one is definitely "Stony Curtis", a character on the Flintstones modeled on Tony Curtis! If only they had one of Ann Margrock too!

August 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

That first not Elvis cake looks like Christopher Walken!

August 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFig

The last one looks a bit like Spock. It's the ears.

August 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

Cake 3 looks like Dennis rodman

August 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

That Liza cake looks like the puppet Madame from Wayland Flowers!! lol

August 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeather S

Muppety arms reach
to strangle and exact their
revenge, sweet revenge.

January 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

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