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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Oct022012

Well, MY Childhood Is Ruined

 [singing] "M-I-C..."

I see BOOBIES!

"K-E-Y...."

[sobbing] WHY? WHY? WHY??

"Mic-key, O-M-GEEEE!"

 

[crickets chirping]

 

So...

While we all struggle to cope with this assault on our inner child, I have a few questions:

1. Is Mickey protecting the boobies? 'Cuz he looks like he's going, "Whoah, whoah, whoah, there, kids! Nuthin' to see here! Move along! Ha-hyuck!" (Wait, that's Goofy's laugh, isn't it? Sorry. I guess Mickey's is more of a "Hoo-HOO!" WHICH IS TOTALLY APPROPRIATE, DON'T YOU AGREE?

2. Why is Mickey sitting on a big red dot? Is that the panic button? Because, I mean, if *I* had a panic button, I would totally be clicking it right now.

3. Boob cakes are usually made for bachelor parties. That's not a question; I just want you to think about that for a minute.

(Look, at some point this gets so disturbing that it rounds the bend back to "funny" again. I'm just doing my part to get us all to that point.)

And finally, and most importantly:

4. Does Minnie know about this?

 

Thanks - I think - to L.P., whose only explanation was, "It's hard to explain." Do tell, L.P.  DO TELL.

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Reader Comments (100)

Oh my goodness...this one really begs for an explanation!

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I think I find it even more disturbing that the cake is well-made, because that means that this was not only intentional, but really thought out beforehand. I mean someone actually took the time to search out a decent baker who could make it.

And the only explanations my mind can come up with for that red dot seem to be coming straight from the gutter, so I'm just going to back away slowly now and go see if there's any mind bleach left in the cupboard . . . Oh please, oh please let there still be some left!

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIkwig

I've been quietly reading Cake Wrecks as my morning guilty pleasure for some time now. This cake though...this cake (there is no guilty pleasure here). It defies all rational and irrational thought.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

A cake celebrating nursing maybe?

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Maybe the cake was for a baby and someone thought "Hmm, what do babies like? Drinking milk from boobies! And maybe Mickey Mouse..." but you'd have thought someone would have thought about what it would look like before it got made. Then again, babies don't normally get cake 'til they are 1 and can eat proper food, do they? Maybe a Mickey Mouse themed bachelor party is more likely after all...

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJuniper

I must hear this explanation...

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDavid

Yes, this cake REQUIRES an explanation! Right now it has me looking at Mickey in a whole new light. And I'm sure that Minnie isn't aware of what Mickey is doing in his spare time!

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

I think the baker was "taking a Mickey."

BTW, Mickey's trademark laugh is simply "haha" in his usual octave.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Babies like breastfeeding and babies like Mickey Mouse; I fail to see the problahahaha sorry, can't do it. Congratulations, Jen, you've finally posted a cake that I do not understand at all.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Sung to “Be Our Guest”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-VdwsENRSs

On her chest, on her chest
Guard or parasite or guest?
Tie this napkin round your neck, Cherie
(You’re flashing your left breast)
Once so pure
Now a perv
Something he did not deserve
Try to stay tough
But it’s vicious
Mickey bashing is pernicious.
Feel a zing, look askance
Why the red dot by his pants?
I could answer but then I’d be second guessed
Why’s Mickey in this venue?
Sneak a glance and then you’ll
See her chest.
Oui, her chest.
See her chest.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

completely mystified...
LP... do tell : ) puuuuuullllllllleze ( i know not spelled correctly)

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiana C

omg Sharyn. DYING laughing. thank you for that!

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Oh Mickey, you're so fine!
You're so fine you blow my... bra off?

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Looks to me like Mickey is saying, "Tada! ... or maybe it should be "ta ta!"

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterB

Sharyn is my hero.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbetsey

Hey,at least it made Pikachu jealous.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

This defies explanation O_o Sharyn, thanks for ruining an innocent song XD XD

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

LP, please share the rationalization behind this cake. It's going to be bugging me for... a very long time (kind of like the Pikachu nipples that still come to mind every time someone says Pokemon).

Hats off to the baker, though. Did they ask for the backstory? I can't imagine making that cake, and not asking, "Wait, really??"

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

OH BOY! <---- In Mickey voice

Yes, please, explanation.....I'm trying to make a connection with Toni Basil's song, but I can't.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

As you may know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. What you may not know is that Mickey Mouse has been named the official cartoon rodent of BCAM. This cake is drawing attention to the importance of regular mammograms and self exams. Obviously, this cake represents a woman who has failed to take proper care and has something brewing in her left breast. She should see a cake doctor ASAP.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Sharyn, I love you.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterspidey

I've been reading CakeWrecks for years, and I still never thought I'd see a cake featuring Mickey Mouse and second base. I'm going with the bachelor party theory, although the implications of a Mickey-themed bachlor party are quite disturbing--what else would be involved, mouse ear hats worn to the strip club? Besides, wouldn't pole dancing Minnie make more sense? Or Minnie Mouse in leather?*

*That phrase was actually used by one of my law school professors. In class. And the admininstration wondered why the law students drank.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKate

I think the most important question, and one that LP clearly did not consider, is: does DISNEY know about this? 'Cause those guys are SCARY.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

LOL- Sharyn.... that is seriously hilarious-
you now actually ruined Beauty and the Beast as well for me.

I guess mickey finally found the happiest place on earth...

haha- sorry.
I'm sort of stunned.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLOL

Sharyn - YOU CRACK ME UP!!!!! I very much enjoyed your musical "explanation".... :D

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMeghan

Yes, somebody made the mistake of saying "Just don't get me one of those mickeymouse boob/nursing/torso cakes for the baby shower".

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergobbler

In response to Question #4: How do we not know Mickey is on top of Minnie right now? Hmmm?

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAriela HvM

This cake is the answer to the question, "what IS the meaning of life, anyway?" Once you understand it, the universe will be in your hands. Or not.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaryM

Oh yeah, and Huge LOL at Sharyn!! I sang your song to my hubby while he gave me a bemused look! ;D

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAriela HvM

Sharyn, your song is the only thing that makes sense about this post.

Otherwise, Freud is rolling in his grave. Because he can't figure it out, either. In this cake, a cake is NOT just a cake!

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

@sharyn ~ I'm seriously running out of superlatives here!
@zoomom ~ any idea how to get coffee out of a keyboard?

My sister used to make bachelor party cakes. Most of them were themed around female body parts. Not one of them had Mickey Mouse on it. Very disturbing indeed!

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

@zoomom -- I can't believe I didn't even THINK of that song. So, since you supplied the chorus, here's the rest... ;)

Sung to “Hey Mickey”

Oh Mickey. What a pity.
You don’t understand.
When I took you to bed, this is not what I had planned.
Please, Mickey, it’s a pity things got out of hand
It’s mice like you, Mickey
Ooh what you do Mickey, do Mickey
You’d better leave, Mickey

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

...(blinkblink)... Is it just me, or does Mickey look rather traumatized?

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Oh, I GOTTA hear the explanation of this one.

It's so well done, too. That's what's even weirder. Separately, those themes are done in a very well-constructed way on this cake - the Mickey Mouse is done correctly. The boobies would be a well-done cake on its own (not that I want a boob cake, but I'm supposing someone does out there). But to put the two together....... I'm sufficiently flummoxed here.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

i bet it was a baby shower cake, and thats a nursing bra, and it was mickey themed...... but why the heck would they put a nursing bra and mickey mouse together?!?!

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAudra

Sharyn, zoomom, SuBee, The Former CB - hilarious responses!! Along with the awesomeness of the Cake Wrecks Team, the fans are what keep me coming back. Love to you all!

As for this cake, for some reason I'm thinking baby shower. To me it's the only thing that can combine flashing a boob and Mickey Mouse. Together. On a cake.

My mind is still boggling, though. I do hope LP comes forward to 'splain (not sum up).

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Ok, I wasn't thinking Bachelor Party cake because normally the R/X-rated cakes on here are Baby Shower cakes and/or Birth cakes. So, I was thinking this was a Mommy torso about to breastfeed her little one, but the bakery ran out of baby dolls and just used whatever else they had on hand that sort of resembled the correct size and shape of a baby.

That idea was very reasonable until LP said, "It's hard to explain". I'm torn between wanting to know and never, ever, EVER wanting to knowing.

@Sharyn: : )

@SueBee: Teehee!

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

OMG...Sharyn, you take the cake. No, really, please take the cake.

I do hope that we get the story on this one. It's completely out there.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

To A Black Square….

I see a cake with a big black square
And wonder what’s hiding under there,
Something, clearly, we should not see…
I wonder just what it could be?
Something hideous, no doubt,
Or why would they just black it out?
Perhaps a monster’s scary face
That would make us run right from this place.
Something gory, creepy, really bad…
(Could you lift the corner just a tad?)
It’ll frighten children, that’s for sure,
Something they’ve never seen before,
It’ll give ‘em nightmares in their sleep….
Who would do that…what a creep!
Something they’ll not be able to “unsee,”
A vision taken to eternity.
I’m getting frightened as I think about it,
It’s got to be hideous, I do not doubt it!
I scare myself and my mind reels
As a gruesome visage before me congeals.
My stomach churns, it start to ripple…
What could it be -- I'm sure it would not hide a nipple --
They’re everywhere these days, you see,
(I even carry two with me.)
Even Kate’s are on the internet
And more are coming – that’s a bet.
Kids often see them from day one
And I don’t think then harm is done,
That would be a lot less scary
Than the monster, o’ so hairy,
That I’ve concocted in my mind,
And certainly a lot more kind
Than making me wonder, full of fear,
Just what I shouldn’t look at here.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

Did someone have their bachelor party at Disneyworld? And is that Belle's bra?

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Duh, people. The answer is 42.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

*facepalm*

Sharyn, you're amazing. I was silently laughing so hard I was crying.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

Is anyone else noticing that the lady in question has some serious cellulite around the torso? I think I'm focusing on that because my brain can't handle the whole mickey/boob thing.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbrenda

I'm with Melonie - this cake is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything.

OR

Someone asked for Mickey on an open chest. As in, an open TREASURE chest. Yeah.. Pirate Mickey, arms open wide to enthusiastically welcome his chest of plunder... That's a much more pleasant picture in my mind.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAgent B

I can't help but think that the red dot is a pool of blood and Mickey just emerged from her chest Alien-style.

And that, young ladies, is what will happen if you show anyone your boobies.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Well we now know Mickey is a milk fan

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

On one hand, I'm laughing at the absurdity of the cake (Mickey Mouse and a white-Janet Jackson moment. WTF?) and Sharyn's comments. I don't know if I can watch Beauty and the Beast without being traumatized.
On the other hand, I'm with SaraCVT. Disney is freaking SCARY with copyright infringing. Especially if it's not G rated.

At least Mickey isn't lying down on the cake and saing, "Hey, bebeh." ;)

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

That's a totally appropriate cake for a co-worker of mine...but the rest of of think he's a total weirdo.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAudax

Wow - I'm definitely eager for an explanation. But in the meantime - Sharyn, that was amazing!

This is the reason I come back to this site - seriously hilarious!

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

Is it just me, or does the doily on the cake board look like the paper used for those cheapo generic "awards/certificates" found in office supply stores? You know, the ones that are awarded to people in lieu of an actual reward? Makes the Mickey-boob cake just that much more bizarre, IMHO.

As if such a thing were possible. Because now when I look at it, it makes me think that this bizarre cake was bing given to someone in recognition of an achievement I do NOT want to know about ...

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

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