My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

I'm Sensing a Theme Here...

Katy P.'s father-in-law recently retired after 27 years with the fire department.

Naturally, his fellow fire fighters ordered an appropriately decorated cake to celebrate: 

(You know what my favorite part of this Fire Department Theme cake is? The balloons.)


Thanks to Katy for showing us how a cake order goes down in flames.


Update: A couple of people have pointed out that this post needs a link to the original firefighter themed cake from way back in 2008.  Still one of my favorites. -john (thoJ)

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Reader Comments (32)

There was man set to retire
from his career fighting fire
Those 27 years
he'd held fire cakes dear
But those balloons made him wish they'd done pie(r)!

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

"Fire Department Theme"??? Do you HAVE to be brain dead to get hired to decorate cakes these days or WHAT???

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJo

A literate cake
for a post-literate world.
What's missing? Pink hose.

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Sung to “I Need a Hero”

I need a Theme song
I’m holding out for a Theme song on this morning bright
The Lieutenant worked long
And this day is his last
And those spermy balloons are a fright
I need a Theme song
The Lieutenant no longer has fires to fight
This cake makes it clear
He’s retiring now
And he needs to start his leisure right.

I need a Theme song!

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I get it! I get it!; That fire brigade puts out all their fires with WATER BALLOONS!!!!
… do I get a prize?

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

@Haiku Joy: Brilliant addition! Now I deeply regret not finding a way to work in the pink hose. (Feel free to laugh at the double entendre...)

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I think it's kind of funny that the part of the writing that shouldn't be on the cake is the most legible, and the largest, while the part they actually wanted had to be scrunched in, and the last 3 letters of retirement are all squashed together.

And I find the curly balloon ribbons somewhat entertaining too. Can't quite articulate why, though.

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

At least it didn't have a pink hose.

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Why are the balloon strings always extra curly??

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly

wow. best commenters---yes, we need a link to the pink hose fireman cake from days of yore. And may I say that everytime I wander by the cakes at my favorite place to grocery shop--Tom Thumb here in Pantego, Texas, I wish I had a fancy phone to snap pictures of the cakes cut in half, set on their sides, iced black and decorated like a tire buried in asphalt for a boys birthday cake theme. If anyone in the DFW area has a fancy phone and can capture these themed would be a service to all mankind. here.

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermomisaverb

Joy, yet another masterpiece haiku. Also, I would like to see the tire cakes. Someone please take a pic. And Tom Thumb? That's a grocery store name?!?

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdoodlebug

@Shirley Fowley: nicely done!

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

They at least spelled "Congratulations" and "Retirement" correctly... (blinkblink)... Nope, sorry, I got nuthin'...

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Bahahaha, I cannot believe the level of idiocy out there :D the sad part is THEY CAN VOTE!!!!! D: Sharyn and Haiku Joy lol

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Sung to "Take This Job and Shove It" by Johnny Paycheck

Take your theme and shove it
Ain't no fire hose here no more
My bo-oss done left
and now ain't no reason
To be workin' for
You better not try to stand in my way
Cause I'm a-walkin' out tha door
Take your theme and shove it
I ain't on the clock no more

Pate's been workin' in that fire house
for nigh on 27 years
To mark his time, they got him a cake
Covered in semen, they fears
And I seen a lot of grown folks cry
That got a cake I made today
I'll give ya acake right offa' the rack
Cuz I've got the guts to say

Take your theme and shove it
Ain't no fire hose here no more
My bo-oss done left
And now ain't no reason
To be workin' for
You better not try to stand in my way
Cause I'm a-walkin' out tha door
Take your theme and shove it
I ain't on the clock no more

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Hmm. I don't know. More than the whole "balloons = sperm" thing, I'm kind of noticing that the white ones don't contrast too well with the icing they're sitting on. I almost didn't notice them. I would maybe have put yellow and orange balloons in addition to red, but that's me.

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

You're way too harsh. I mean, spelling and punctuation are bang on!

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKathy P

At least they got the correct spelling.... erm, right?

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKat

Oh my.


November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSalannB

@Shirley: Hahahaha! Of course, WATER balloons!

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

My standards have fallen dramatically since I began reading this site. I (like several of the other commentators) was actually surprised and pleased that they spelled "congratulations", "department" and "retirement" all correctly!

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLacey S

Do bakeries got to Morons-R-Us to hire people?

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

After all these years of reading these cakes and thinking to myself "it has to get better someday" ...

They could have made the red balloons black, so they'd have black and white spots on the cake and could claim it was a Dalmatian, since those are often associated with fire departments. Or, no that would require some imagination.

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

@Andrea ~ "Covered in semen" made me snort hot coffee out my nose. OUCH! (note to self: PUT THE COFFEE DOWN!!!)
@Sharyn ~ Your follow up comment totally made up for the lack of the pink hose in the song. :-)

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

I needed a laugh. I agree the balloons are the best part. There are certain things when I think about fir fighters kittens in trees and balloons along with the part where they run into burning buildings to save people.

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

@ScaperMama but, if everyone switched to pie then the site would have to be renamed Pyrex!! (mentally insert picture of John holding casserole dish here)

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Wow! Limerick, Haiku, and 2 songs! Awesome day to read the comments. Plus the cake, wow! That's bad. Water balloons! Giggle! This, plus the video of the guys from ESPN working as many "The Princess Bride" references into a half hour show as they could, makes having the internet worth while!

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRikki

I think the cake decorater was just being a smart-a**. At least, I HOPE he was.

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAidan

Amusingly, the cake with the actual firefighter on it was not for a firefighter at all.

November 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterem

Oh man..what the heck is all I can think of right now lol. I mean to literally write that on the cake as if that explains anything is making me wonder if that wreckerator just hates his/her job. Honestly if you aren't even going to try why make the cake at all?

November 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I realize it's late after a 10-hour workday plus a football awards banquet tonight. I nderstand the sperm balloons. But what are the curly blue lines in the border? Are those the balloons/sperm that got away? Or did they flee in horror once they saw the writing, leaving their tails behind?

Sharyn and Haiku Joy, genius as usual. Andrea, however, you have picked one of my all-time favorite college memories to parody. And it mentions semen. Awesome!

November 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC


No, the scary thing is that they obviously DID vote.

November 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrocketride

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