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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Nov292012

What Could Go Wrong?

I've often thought the "gender-reveal cake" trend was fraught with peril, and today's wreck is a good example of why. 

In case you haven't heard of it, the reveal cake has either pink or blue icing hidden inside, depending on the baby's sex - but the kicker is, the parents bring that info sealed from their doctor to the bakery, so the cake is how they find out if they're having a boy or a girl. 

So...you're trusting a baker to correctly communicate your baby's sex? 

Gee, WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

 

 [whistling innocently]

Happily Kevin S. and his wife already knew they were having a boy, but for fun they decided to send a reveal cake to his parents to break the news. As is typical, they asked for it to be white on the outside and decorated with pink and blue polka dots, plus maybe a few question marks. Then they asked for blue icing inside the cake.

When the special order arrived at Kevin's parents' house, this is what they found:

o.0

And to think: someone looked at this and thought, "Yeah, that's what the customer wanted."

(John says you should read that cake out loud. So, go on. DO EET!)

 

Still, as baby cake trends go, it could always - ALWAYS - be worse:

...and frequently is. *sigh*

 

Thanks to Kevin and Stephanie F. for that revealing slice of humor.

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Reader Comments (56)

Sung to "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star"

Is it pink or is it blue
Let the cake announce for you
Little girl or little guy
Or the Wreckerator's high
When zombie baby crawls from you
What will all of your guests do?

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

...That last cake looks like Mickey Mouse put on a blue hood, put a flesh-colored mask over his face, and painted a sonogram on it.

Do not want!

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy H.

Terrible?
Awful?
Terrible and Awful
Misguided Cakes

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Glop covered strawberry if it's a girl, slimy yellow slugfruit if it's a boy.
Everyone knows that.
The proud parents of cake #1 must be having twins!

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Based on the remark that the baker looked at the cake and thought, "Yeah, this is what the customer wanted," I think some of the translators where I work might be former bakers. The fact that it's so widespread is what makes it depressing.

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeanette

That last one is actually competently done, if somewhat tastelessly.

Sad to think some decorators can't get even something THIS simple right.

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

What I love is that the cake seems to be having an identity crisis. Blue? Pink? Blue and Pink

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

My 3-year-old just came to the computer, saw that last cake and said "That's a clock cake! A Mickey Mouse cake!"

Ahh. The innocence of children.

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShelagh

That last cake. I... ummm... *blinks*

I'm going to go away now. I haven't had quite enough coffee yet.

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPaisley

If you take off the writing, that second cake is BEAUTIFUL! Kevin's parents still don't know if it is a boy or a girl!

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPatti

Is it just me, or does the "womb with a view" cake remind anyone else of the portal doors they used to escape in the movie "Treasure Planet"?

Maybe the bigger question is, has anyone but me actually seen the movie "Treasure Planet"?

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

The second cake makes me think of how fun it would be to have Haiku Joy's haikus inscribed on cake. Pretty please?

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

I was so annoyed at the sonogram that I missed the "Mickey Mouse" aspect. Is it just me, or does the sonogram look like a big fist?

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

The sonogram... aieeeeee!!!

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Slightly deflated balloon boobs. Awesome.

It's disconcerting to me seeing on Pinterest people pinning "boobs and belly" cakes. They're well made, but nobody seems to get not wanting to eat body parts.

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

I'm so glad I already have 2 Grils and have NO plans whatsoever of having another one. Although I might have to teach them Sharyn's version. A good bedtime song, no?

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

Pffft. NO Excuse. NONE. Some people are just too dense to BREATHE.

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJo

What is with the blood/poop smeared board under the dismembered torso cake. I think they need to get CSI to search for the crime scene. Start at the bakery.

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenn in TN

Why? Why? Why? Finding out your baby's gender is an amazing moment. You want your baker to know before you do? And let you know via disgustingly coloured buttercream?

That last cake is definitely dismembered body parts. The bits don't fit together at all, and the killer has ripped the stomach open. Yum, yum.

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

So..... on number 2 cake, was the icing inside white?

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

"Paka dots" -- is that a new kind of candy? A new band?

Sigh. . . . . .

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

@Shelagh...just wish I could have some of that innocence back...yikes.

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAuntie Em

And green icing inside means it's a Vulcan.

...of course, by that logic then pink icing would actually mean a baby Klingon. This could get interesting.

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErin Yvette

Does the multiple personality cake say "paka dots"? Oy vey.

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

So...the first cake strongly shouts "It's a Girl!" instead of using the inside layer; ok, got it.

The second one....Am I the only one who sees "Paka Dots" instead of "Polka Dots". IT'S NOT EVEN SPELLED RIGHT! Aaaaaarrrggghhhh!!

The last one.**Shudder** They deserve whatever they get. Blargh. And those were boobs? Blinks. I saw knees. Just...no!

That second is going to have me giggling all day.

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

@Melonie: I have! I even liked it.

Thanks, John(thoJ). Reading it out loud made me realize it says "Paka Dots". Is that like a herd of elephants, a murder of crows, a paka dots?

@Jenn in TN: I was thinking along similar lines there: doesn't anyone have a clamp for goodness sakes?!

Does anyone else see the baby making a tiny 'thumbs up' in that view of the womb? "Mom's bleeding out, but I'm okay".

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I don't know why, but that curling ribbon on the last cake has me in giggle fits. Heehee!

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I'm really confused. What are Paka Dots?

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTylen

Anyone else notice that Kevin's cake actually say "paka dots" and not polka dots?!?! WHUT!?! o.0?

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeather in NH

Blue? Pink? Blue and Pink Polka Dots sounds like a Dr. Seuss title.

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShauna

So now we're getting started hammering the "pink is for girls and blue is for boys" trope into kids before they're even born? Great.

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStumpp Beefgnaw

I can never understand why they can't have a mom's hands holding the printout of the sonogram over their belly. Of course, that would mean the cake decorator would have to know how to construct hands, which would just confound the whole situation further...

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

You didn't even address the fact that the first cake says It's a "GRIL"... hahaha.

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

@Erin Yvette: Hee!

@Stumpp Beefgnaw: Hehehe. Actually, let's not make a big deal of it. I can only imagine what a wreckerator would do to reveal the child's gender without the aid of blue or pink coloring....*shudder*

I actually typed out a whole scenario, but I squicked myself out and deleted it. : )

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Stopped at a new (well, new to *me*) bakery the other day. The cakes on display were very nice, very well done, but as we were leaving, The Husband pointed out an ad on the door for baby shower cakes to announce the gender. Based on the photo, they're pink or blue *cake* inside! Not the icing -- the actual cake!!!

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCapt_Video

Actually 2 grammar goofs in #1: "It a Gril" instead of "It's a Girl"! Amazing!!

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiane Shaeffer

WOW! What kind of what??
This is so funny and sad at the same time. And if it was a boy? What would that say?

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelany

Earlier this year, a friend of mine did the whole gender reveal party thing, complete with cake. The cake itself was well executed with white icing covered in little blue and pink question marks. The wreck was in the baker calling up my friend and asking if the icing between the layers was supposed to be blue or pink. She didn't know, of course, and told them to look at the note from the doctors office. Apparently they couldn't tell if the note said "male" or "female", so she told them that if it was four letters long the word was "male" and if it was six letters long the word was "female". "Oh, so it's a girl then", was the response she got. Way to ruin the surprise, baker.

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKdot

The thought that something could be worse than that last cake makes me not want to go on living.

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Sharyn, you are HYSTERICAL today :D as for the second cake, that wreckorator is a few neurons short of a monkey O_o

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I just have to say that your page has scarred me for life. I am a cake decorator and there are just some cakes that I cannot do after reading this page. Within the past month I have declined both a baby belly and a baby bum cake.....because all I hear is Jen's commentary in my head. So thank you cake wrecks, thank you. ;)

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

@Erin Yvette --- I am with you (and Andrea, I assume) totally on the blood colours. Thus, all of the above cakes should be red velvet cakes. Live long and prosper.

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChris

@Melany -- The cake would likely say "It a Byo", making people think that they should have brought their own (fill in the blank).

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChris

I'm SO glad my gender reveal cake was properly done!!! (no writing, though... they got off too easy!). And... we asked the sonogram technician to give us 2 envelopes with the baby's gender in it: one we gave the baker, the second we opened just after cutting the revealing cake slice... Everything went fine, and we indeed have a girl (no gril, and no boy)

(I was kind of hoping for a wreck, though, after 2 years of reading the website... !!)

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLy

@Melanie: Womb with a view. Snicker.

November 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKay

oh, Sharyn- the remake of Dawn of the Dead had a zombie baby being born!! The mother was bitten while pregnant and the turned zombie...yeah.

November 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Well I know what I will never ever do. Trust a bakery with the gender of my baby lol. I won't know if it's a gril, a boy, or triplet alien twinkies the way they are going. Scary thought either way lol.

November 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

@Steph ~ Thank YOU! No, seeriously... THANK YOU for taking a stand!
@Jen ~ Job well done!!!

November 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

Capt_Video, if it was a boy, he had to be named Dave. (While a Strauss waltz plays in the background...)

#1 I've decided the orange things aren't candied prawns. I think. But the red things still insist on morphing from strawberries into red peppers, especially the one at 1 o'clock. By the way, the wreckerator thought s/he was being clever with "It a Gril" -- almost but not quite giving it away.

#2 Paka Dots are those things Pac Man eats.

#3 Suddenly, I'm having fond memories of the gelatin cake. At least that didn't look so much like the teaching aid in a medical lecture. [Bolts for lab] "Has anyone seen my un-see machine?!"

December 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

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