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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Dec042012

BREASTS OF FURY

I don't know about you, but when *I* get an e-mail with "BREASTS OF FURY" in the subject line, I tend to read that one first.

Happily, this particular submission didn't disappoint:

 

 They DO seem kinda angry...

 

Sadly Melanie T. didn't include an explanation for her cake, so we're left to devise our own theories - and in book title format, of course.

Here, I'll get us started:

 

1) When Fembots Attack


2) Put Out Your Heart Light, and Turn On Your Head Lights

 

3) Shelly the Turtle/Airplane Hybrid and the Exploding, Somewhat Leaky BAZOOMS OF DOOM!! (Now With Balloons!)

 

K, the floor is now open. YOUR TURN.

 

***************

IMPORTANT 12/10 UPDATE: Melanie tells she went back to the same store this week and saw *another* cake, same drawing and everything, in the case. So she broke down and asked the baker what the heck it's supposed to be. You'll never guess. Are you ready? Like, really REALLY ready?

It's a walrus. Allegedly.

Please, scroll on up there and see if YOU can figure it out. 'Cuz I'm still stuck doing this:

Also, I need more Bill Murray gifs in my life - although he'll always be Peter Venkman to me. ;)

 

« 'Scuse Me, I Think Your Fly Is Down... | Main | Seeing Double »

Reader Comments (194)

I tried rotating the image, and it does seem to be a sort of... er... catlike creature with a propeller head and nostrils on its chin... which makes perfect sense, except for the upside-down balloons, of course.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSkeptic

What Not To Do When Lactating: Nipple Piercings Gone Bad

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Public Safety Warning:
Do not use self as water balloon dartboard!

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkrunchifrog

@SuBee - OMG, you're on a roll, don't stop!

LOL, am I the only one picturing everone turning their laptops and monitors upside down? : )))

As for a caption, I got nuthin!

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPamela V.

I see a walrus, I think the "explosions" are supposed to be whiskers and the two long ovals are tusks? I like the other answers better. Good cake for the morning after your first child is born when you wake up with those rock-hard stripper boobs of agony.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Mournful Maracas of Doom.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

Happy Mastitis Day!

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Alright I admit.... after reading the comments I turned my laptop upside down (yes, I actually picked it up and turned it upside down lol) and I think Ubi is right.... I think it is a bunny which leads to the questions.... why is the bunny upside down or.... are the balloons upside down? Hmmmm.......

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeather Kiwi

Oh No Mr. Bill's sex change went kerblewie!

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHelen

Sorry. No clever titles from me. I am too consumed with curiosity as to what this is supposed to BE! If I pay $19 for a cake, it better not end up being a Rorshach test.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

"Funbag Surprise".

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

This is it. I am now completely useless for the rest of the day. I have a laugh headache. AND I AM A PAID WRITER. I don't laugh that easily.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersupposedtobeworking

All the Manatee references make me think of the Veggie Tales song Barbara Manatee...now I know what she looks like!

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterValerie

I'm thinking this is actually the bottom of an airplane that's flying in the sky. I mean, who wouldn't pay $18.99 for a cake with the bottom of an airplane on it?

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercindy

I am the Melanie T. who submitted this cake. I snapped the picture (furtively) in the grocer's case, so there IS no explanation - at least that I know of. But it should be noted that when I was shopping the next week, there was ANOTHER cake in the case in this same design. Or possibly the same cake. I don't know which would worse.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie T

It's the amazing Breastini!! Watch out, those things will go off with no provocation!

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermandyj212000

Surprise for Her Boyfriend: Boobs explode to release beer and balloons! Story at eleven.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWotV

When Mammograms go Bad

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWotV

Your ghost says Boo, mine has Boo(bs)" !

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMartin

"It's No Yolk: The Birth of an Egg, Viewed from Underneath the Chicken."

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWeepoodle

I've only read the first page, but no one else sees, as I do, a woman after a mammogram!

My vote, so far, goes for "The Tit and the Pendulum" by Ellen Poe...

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

For the cosplayers and rockers out there, the newest line of Ironmaidenform Bras.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

I am starting to think it is a walrus...the leaking breast milk is actually tusks. The ninja star nipples are walrus whiskers?? I still can't figure out why the walrus has a nose.....

Or it's leaky breasts. :)

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnita

part of me feels like this was supposed to be mickey.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersarah

Happy Mastitis Day 2912!

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

"When good girls go bad"

You guys are awesome! Sharyn and SuBee, someone owes me a new keyboard! (when will I ever learn!)

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

As a breastfeeding mother, this cake makes a lot of sense to me.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Oooooh, marble cake!

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTamatha

When good implants go bad.

When implants attack.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

Boobsplosion: The Hidden Danger of Lactation

Lactosaurus!

Don't Tell the Kids Mom Exploded

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Wachungas gone wild !

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commenter:3

Chestnuts Roasting--Open Fire!

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJackwire

It's supposed to be a walrus!

I think....

The drippy things were meant to be tusks, on the circles are the jowls with whiskers on them.

The "legs" are actually flippers.

http://ellekarel.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/walrus.jpg?w=548

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKat

I saw this exact cake at a store that will remain nameless. I took a pic using my "dumb" phone, which means I didn't submit it, but STILL! This is the EXACT SAME CAKE!! The reactions I got from different people were, "Someone needs to nurse REALLY badly!" and "Wow, that looks like it's for a bachelor party!"

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKate H

50 Shades of Whey

My vote goes to Mel for Lactose: The Intolerant

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJackwire

Saint Agatha cake?
Celebrate martyrdom with
Etch-a-Sketch icons.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

"Piercing Blunders Illustrated: Pearl Drops are for Ears"

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarkinSF

Don't cry, boobies, you'll grow into those nipples someday.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

Are You There God? Because I'm Pretty Sure These Things Aren't Supposed to Explode. by Judy Blume

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCFC

Spiked:The Tragic Story of Breast Reduction Surgery Gone Bad

or

The Knife Thrower's Assistant: The Tragic Early Years

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBaliddle

Alien 5: Alternate Exit

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDanS

BAHAHAHA! It's what happens when a baby lets go after milk letting down :-D

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCANDY

"Why U.S. awl this time you neva knew those were propellas?" *must be said with heavy southern female drawl*

Extra points if you know what movie that's from.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

According to my theory, which it is (and it is mine, too), those are skillets. Therefore...

The Ghost Chef Presents: 13 Fry-tening Recipes

Get it while you can; it was panned by the critics.

It seems like there hasn't been an EPCOT in quite a while. This one tried to get going, but it flopped (couldn't resist a reference to the main theme).

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

@Sharyn-The Intolerable Milk! LOL I think that's the best, although I am also partial to 50 Shades of Whey, by Jackwire.
My first thought when I saw them was, why are the breasts crying?
I have no caption of my own, although I do see Bugs Bunny if I turn it upside down.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjulimari

It kind of reminds me of the mr. men
characters. I have no idea what to call
it though

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAna

JackWire's is my favorite!

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I couldn't see them- seriously! I was seeing maracas with little tassels coming off and then: ooohhhhhh, pasties!!! (looking at John)

okay, I was doing shout outs on the ones that made me hoot with joy, laugh like a hyena and (maybe/maybe not) wet myself. Freakin' long list, I'm telling ya. so, I ditched it. GROUP HUG (hey, no groping!)


Melanie T- you mean that wasn't a special order gone bad? OH, GOOD GRIEF

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

"Bubbelo?? Is that you?" Italian comix invade America's bakeries...

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergobbler

New Moms Beware the Shower

Unless you've been warned that you will turn into a milk shower head when you take a shower as a newly lactating mom, it can be a little disconcerting.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCrystal A.

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