My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Bibbidy Bobbidy Ew

I think we're all still recovering from Friday's hoo-haw horrors, so let's do something a little different today. Let's take a look at what Anwen E. spotted in the Halloween aisle:

It's kind of like the plastic princess topper they use for cakes, except it has a big fabric skirt... that you cover your pumpkin with.

That's right, you're supposed to buy a pumpkin... and then cover it up with this.

Sadly the skirt isn't long enough to completely hide that pumpkin eyesore, but apparently it's still sufficient to "turn any pumpkin into one of your favorite characters!"

So I'm holding out for Pete Venkman.

But wait, there's more!

After I finished rant-asking John who would possibly want to buy such a thing, much less use it, I returned to my inbox to discover this vintage photo from Toni H. of her fourth birthday cake:


Toni, you didn't by any chance go into Halloween product design after this, did you?


Still, it's important we remember there are always far worse things you can put on a pumpkin. Or a cake. Or even a pumpkin cake:


Thanks to Anwen E., Toni H., Michelle D., Loren B., & Shon, who will all turn into adorable woodland creatures after the clock strikes twelve tonight, and then come clean my house. (That's how this works, right?)

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Reader Comments (29)

Awww, man...there always has to be a pumpkin pooper to spoil everything!

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

Someone is going to get very, very rich on this.
Just think, you can market these for so many different holidays.
Thanksgiving-Princess on a Turkey-DUH
Veterans Day-Stick Mulan on the head of your favorite Vet. She was, after all, a veteran herself!
Christmas-Princess on a poinsietta.
New Years-Cinderalla on a clock (which is right on so many levels.)
Princess on a watermelon for any summer holiday. Except Memorial Day. That would be disrespectful.
Memorial Day-Patriotically festooned princesses placed on graves across the land (I know, too much.)
Veterans Day-Stick Mulan on the head of your favorite Vet. She was, after all, a veteran herself!
Easter- Princess on an Easter basket. Just stick your hand under Belle's billowy skirt for a sweet treat!
Flag Day-ouch!

Still-It's going to make someone a bunch of money!

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Oh dear. I'd be frowning too if I had a big glob of poo on my forehead.

p.s. thanks for reminding me of the hoo-ha horrors. I thought I'd put that one out of my mind. <shudders>

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdutchgirl

Sad pumpkin seems appropriate

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Well, Cinderella IS supposed to ride a pumpkin, isn't she?

That last cake's expression is perfect. I'd look that way if I had that on me, too.

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I saw that Cinderella at my local Target and thought the same thing, but some will sell to Cinderella fans. I think it would be much better if it came with a shorter skirt, wheels, a little bench and a flameless candle as well as a pattern for cutting the pumpkin and transforming it into a carriage. They did however have some cute Mrs. Potato Head, Angry Birds and Star Wars pumpkin kits though.

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

SO glad to know I'm not the only one that thought those princess pumpkin toppers were stupid!

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLisa-Marie

Hmmm...dunno how I missed the existence of those weird doll cakes in the 70's. Glad I did though, because dolls have always freaked me out, so a doll shoved into a cake probably would have traumatized me.

In the first picture of the Cinderella package, it looks like she has orange wings, made out of pumpkin. (Don't fly with them Cinderella-- they disappear at Midnight and you'll sink like a stone!)

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

I'm not smuggling gourds!
Honest! This is . . . a breakout.
Thankfully, there's meds . . .

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I like PUMP-kin butts and I cannot lie!
You other wreckers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with a little plastic waist
And a round thing in your face
You get... creeped out...

(Stopping there because I probably COULD do the whole song *shudders*)

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEBH

Technically, Cinderella rode *IN* the pumpkin, but that's probably too messy...and potentially traumatizing. (Remember Linus watching Lucy carve a pumpkin? ..."I didn't know you were gonna kill it!")

Think I'll go looking for the Angry Bird kids would love that! :-) I'll have to do something...looks like rain for Halloween down here in Houston. :-( (Say it ain't so!)

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarate Lady

Covering up your Halloween pumpkin? Why? I don't get it.

I have a "conversion kit" for my Halloween pumpkin. It has a wooden turkey head and five large wooden "feathers," each a different color. So you convert your pumpkin to a turkey, and can keep it as long as the pumkin lasts. But you still see the pumpkin.

I think that last pumpkin's face says it all: "Who told me I had to be a poo-head?"

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Just when we think we've seen everything something like this happens. o.O

I, too, had a princess cake when I was little. I'll have to see if I can find pictures.

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Don't hold your breath on the "adorable woodland creatures" thing.

The AWCU has been on strike ever since the movie came out on Blu-Ray, and they didn't get any royalties.

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

It could work...if you carve that frowny face from the last cake onto the bottom of your pumpkin before you cover it with the Cinderella topper...

Oh! Alice in Wonderland doll + pumpkin would be much more fun! I'm envisioning the moment she grew too big for the house...

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

My little girl had a project in school of decorate a pumpkin with the main character from your favorite book and that picture of the Cinderella pumpkin looks exactly like what one of the kids in her class brought...I was thinking they actually took one of their dolls and made it, didn't realize it was store bought! Lol! And I love the expression on the last pumpkins face, that says it all!

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Cinderella, I declare,
What's that thing your hiding there?
Watch that stem, for it may cause ya
To become overly fond of calabaza.

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Boy Blue

For some strange reason, Cinderella began getting a lot of calls from a suitor named Peter....

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Boy Blue

That first pumpkin cake would not be so bad if the stem had been made in the pale green such stems have in real life. Indeed, it would have been too good for this page.

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

I must confess. Not only do I *remember* doll cakes, I made several of them for my daughter and her little friends. I even still have the special "skirt" pan - which worked SO much better than a bundt pan, believe me. And there were special dolls that ended at the waist in a spike, rather than having legs, so the proportions looked better. I did learn after the first one to have a whole Barbie-type doll ready to hand to the birthday girl when she discovered the half-doll! *G*

On the whole, when done well, the cakes could be quite pretty. But they're very, very easy to do badly.

BTW, the conical skirt pan also worked well for "volcano" cakes, or "airplane engine" or "rocket nosecone" designs! Sort of a primitive PanWOW! (TM)

@EBH ~ That.Was.AWESOME! Except for the fact that I'll be humming that for the rest of the day and it's SO not appropriate ;-)

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

@SuBee: great idea! go for it! it could be the new Elf On A Shelf... (and if you need a lawyer...I might know one...)
@EBH: lol...good one!

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

I'm with NormaJean on this one - Cinderella belongs inside!

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterVioletRose

yay SuBee & BADKarma
wooo hoooooo

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

That "kit" has to be one of the stupidest, lamest things I've EVER seen. ("Turn any pumpkin into one of your favorite characters") ???? Come ON! PLEASE!! You're not turning a pumpkin "into" anything!! You're sticking a cheap piece of crap on top of a fruit or vegetable! That's IT, folks. ("BaddaBING!") I don't know where they thought they were going with that flimsy *concept*, but....oh,wow...I would LOVE to have been a fly on the wall at THAT "brainstorming" session...must have been some really good stuff being passed around! And what ELSE is out there, or in the planning stages--maybe the reverse: a "Turn any of your favorite characters into a vegetable" kit!? There really must be "a sucker born every minute"! L! O! L! =^e.e^=

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

EBH, Cathy and Haiku Joy -- too funny!

Even with the poo-mpkins, today's post is muuuuuuch better than Fridays! <<shudder>>

October 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

Hmm I too would be a sad pumpkin if I had to put one of those things on lol. Poor pumpkins. And that last one is just so sad I wouldn't even try and eat him.

October 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

My daughter wanted one of those "kits" when we saw them in the store. Of course, she's 3, and just thought it was a doll. And no, I did NOT buy it for her. :-)

October 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJasry

Did you say "pumpkin" or "dumpkin"?

October 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterrocketride

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