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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Dec042012

BREASTS OF FURY

I don't know about you, but when *I* get an e-mail with "BREASTS OF FURY" in the subject line, I tend to read that one first.

Happily, this particular submission didn't disappoint:

 

 They DO seem kinda angry...

 

Sadly Melanie T. didn't include an explanation for her cake, so we're left to devise our own theories - and in book title format, of course.

Here, I'll get us started:

 

1) When Fembots Attack


2) Put Out Your Heart Light, and Turn On Your Head Lights

 

3) Shelly the Turtle/Airplane Hybrid and the Exploding, Somewhat Leaky BAZOOMS OF DOOM!! (Now With Balloons!)

 

K, the floor is now open. YOUR TURN.

 

***************

IMPORTANT 12/10 UPDATE: Melanie tells she went back to the same store this week and saw *another* cake, same drawing and everything, in the case. So she broke down and asked the baker what the heck it's supposed to be. You'll never guess. Are you ready? Like, really REALLY ready?

It's a walrus. Allegedly.

Please, scroll on up there and see if YOU can figure it out. 'Cuz I'm still stuck doing this:

Also, I need more Bill Murray gifs in my life - although he'll always be Peter Venkman to me. ;)

 

« 'Scuse Me, I Think Your Fly Is Down... | Main | Seeing Double »

Reader Comments (194)

A walrus? See, all this time I thought it was upside-down, if you look at it that way it looks...well like a really badly drawn rabbit maybe? A walrus? Reaally.

December 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStess

I am the walrus, koo koo ka chew?

December 10, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkoufaxfan32

Actually, I totally see a walrus..,but I have to squint a bit!

December 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPamela

Assuming it IS a walrus.... why would you want a walrus on a cake?? And maybe the better question would be- why would they need to make 2 walrus cakes in 1 week? Who is buying them???

December 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterZoa

I have to squint, and FORCE myself to see those two drips of breast milk as tusks...then it all comes into focus, just for a split second...

December 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAunt LoLo

After a *lot* of staring, I can see it. The dots are eyes. The furious mouth is the nose. The exploding bazoongas are cheeks with whiskers. The droopy nipples are tusks. The walrus is either standing or lying down with her flippers behind her back. The baker is on something STRONG.

December 10, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrj

Thanks to Melanie T. for doing the leg wok, ummm I mean breast work. Umm, never mind.

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermabeno

I can see it. I can see the Walrus and it's smiling!

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me

Oookay, on, like, the fifth try, I managed to see it as a Walrus. But it's a walrus who's just had his wisdom teeth pulled, because his mouth is super!swollen. And his nose is too small. Anyway, what I originally thought were hands of some kind are actually whiskers.

...But I still just keep seeing the doom idea first.

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLilli

I can see the walrus... perhaps. The breast first of all are like his upper lip, so the tear drops under the breasts are the tusks... and the fury on the breasts are his whiskers. then beside the breasts are his flippers and so on. I mean, I would've never guess it if you hadn't told me... but I can make out that it could be that.

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Why is the baker "obsessed" with walruses?? Have those cakes really been selling?? I doubt it! I kind of see the tusks and whiskers (giggle) but that's it. HOW could those be the eyes on top?? Oy

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkimberlee

Oh my god I see it now.... holy... wow that is one horrible walrus but it IS a walrus! the boobs are it's chubby cheeks, the frowny mouth is the nose the eyes are still the eyes... wow....

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKendra

Congrats on removing your leaky implants... All by yourself!

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen

If you turn it upside-down it looks like a cartoon bunny face...with upside-down balloons!

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

I showed this one to my fiance and asked if he saw a walrus. He turned it upside down. Sadly, still no walrus.

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRosaM

Go back and get them to put "I am the Walrus" on it!

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichael

It vaguely resembles the walrus from Disney's Alice in Wonderland. The one in the side story with the clams? Maybe? That's what I thought of when I tried to see a walrus anyway

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterYoshiorlidom

I can buy that it is supposed to be a walrus. The big question now is, why is there a bad line drawing of a walrus on someone's birthday cake? If they didn't want to make a proper pic of the walrus, why couldn't they at least draw it with blue icing instead of black? Why make the nose and whiskers extra pointy and 'splodey and then go and make the tusks round and limp??

So many questions...

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMoe

It's boobie tassles! Every girl needs a pair of those in her dresser for those nights when jazz hands just won't cut it! Everybody wins!

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThea

Lol, I worked it out after about 5 seconds, but I never would have if I'd just seen it in the shop. It's a terrible walrus, but I see what they were trying to do there. Big whiskery chops with huge teeth. Tragic.

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermaytey

Ok, so let's say, for argument's sake, that it looks like a walrus. (Yes, hypothetically)

Why would you put a walrus on a party cake?

Anyone?

I got nothing.

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRosie

It's ninja Mom and the milky throwing stars of doom.

Well she has to store them somewhere!

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSadie

Sorry. As soon as I saw it I thought "Walrus". Not a well executed walrus drawing... but a walrus.

Question, though. Why was there a walrus on the cake?

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMudhooks

I am not sure which makes me giggle more... "Bazooms of Doom" or the mental image of all the posters that are either turning their laptops upside down or tilting their heads like the RCA Pup to see the cuddly creature mentioned in others' posts. LOL

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGtnMyKx

It's a walrus. With big cheeks. And tusks. Still baffled by the stars, though.
(see images here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walrus)

And no, I didn't know it was a walrus till you said it was a walrus and then I looked at it and went, okay, that's a walrus. Sort of.

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChrisU

My 14 year Old, a master cakestress, says its a guy holding maracas. Lol

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKimber

Its like one of those seeing eye things. There it is! Ohp no I lost it. Oh I see the walrus. Oh damn lost it again!

Take off the ear thingies or whatever they are supposed to be and its easier to see it.

Excuse the typos. My phone isnt behaving this morning...

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterthansen

If you squint at it and cross your eyes a little, like you're looking at one of those Magic Eye pictures, you can almost sort of see a walrus. My question: what in the name of buttercream are they making WALRUS CAKES for????

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCourt

I REALLY thought it was an angry guy with a couple of machine guns....FLOORED to hear it's a walrus...

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnnshee

OK, so this begs the question-- is there really a huge market for cakes featuring balloons and walruses in this town?

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKate

I am sorry, that leaves more questions than answers. Who buys a cake with a walrus on it? I just don't see the walrus at all...

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMallory

I thought it could be... COULD be someone giving two thumbs down - which I DO award to this cake!

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterD. Linnane

I had a good laugh, nodded at all the comments, and then handed it to my husband and asked him what he saw. He said immediately, "It's a walrus. He looks like he should have Tennesee Tuxedo standing next to him. Why, what do you see?"

When I told him to read the rest, he was just kind if going, "What the hell is wrong with you people?" Obviously, I didn't have Chumley in mind when I saw this - I saw what everyone else did, having used those things for what they"re meant for... ;p

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersenoritafish

I can also see that as an eggman, so, yes, that song totally makes sense to me now. Obviously, this was meant to be a tribute cake to John Lennon. I am sure he would feel, um, honored?

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

When I closed my right eye and turned my head to the left I could briefly see the walrus. What I would have thought that are the milk drops are his teeth and the boobies are his whiskery cheeks.

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnon

I think the more important question here is where is all this demand for walruses on cakes coming from?

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFaith

I don't see the walrus..... But it sure made me laugh!!!

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

I see it!
The "explosion" coming out of the chichi's is the walrus's cheeks (or whatever) with whiskers.
And the "dripping" coming down from the chichi's is the walrus's tusks.
Still, very weird!

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermelissa

I get the walrus 'shapes' they were going for, but I still don't see it. Ever squinting I don't see how this person could have seen a walrus in what they drew. Those are inflamed leaky boobs. Might make a good cake for the breast feeding mama in your life!!

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAbbey

Jaw, meet Floor.

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Addendum to my above comment: for those who can't see a walrus, google "Tennessee Tuxedo and Chumley" - Chumley looks very like this. He just needs a tie and a little yellow hat.

December 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersenoritafish

A walrus cake. Huh.
Next cake needs a carpenter,
cabbages, and kings.

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Can't breath. Too funny.
Laughing so hard I woke up the kids. They asked if I was okay.
They got their daddy. He's laughing too and turning red.

January 2, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterev

My 9year old son looked. He sees an angry naked woman with breasts squirting milk. I told him before he looked it was a walrus. He told me I was wrong.

January 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

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