My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Let's Play Telephone!

Ladies and gentlemen, the stories you're about to see are true. The phone calls, however, are just how I imagined they went.


"Yes, I'd like it to say 'Happy 6th Birthday Robert.' Oh, and could you put Spider-Man on the cake, too? That's his favorite character."

You're welcome, lady!


"Just have it say 'Happy Birthday Keith & Arianna,' please."

[writing down order] "Nooo problem, sir. And what kind of decorations would you like?"

"Oh, whatever. I trust you guys."

Foolish man.


"Could you write, 'Happy birthday cake, Chloe'?"

[confused look]

"Yes, seriously. She's three years old."

"Ohhh kay. You really want me to write that?"

"Yeah. See, she never says just 'happy birthday,' she always says 'happy birthday cake.'"

"Oh, I get it! Ok, sure, no problem."



"And what message would you like on your cookie cake?"

"Oh, this isn't for any special occasion. Although if you could put sprinkles on it, that'd be cool."



"Have it say, 'Happy birthday, Mike.'"

Is there an echo in here?


"Just put 'Happy birthday, Stephanie.' Thanks!"

Kinda makes you want to yell, "I'm an idiot!!" doesn't it?


Thanks to Joanna B., Sheri, Jodee W., Genevieve, Melissa M., Stephanie R. for literally being my most recent wreckporters.

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Reader Comments (69)

The first cake totally reminds me of Pheobe on Friends discussing "Spiderman" with Chandler.

February 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercylonophile

is it wrong that i am more upset by the 8 candles for a 6th birthday than i am by the spiderman situation?

February 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterused2besccc

I'm not exactly sure how it happened, but apparently this morning I claimed to be able to count past 2 million on my fingers. Truthfully, I am only able to count to 1,024, and again, in theory.

Lest my hubris or my coffee run away with me again, I thwap myself with frosting in public. This is similar to being pied, but with funnier sound effects.

February 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

@ zoomom- you tease! I can’t wait for new songs. :D

O.M.G Haiku Joy. A mathematical haiku?? The universe just tilted on its side and everything changed…

February 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

On #2, at least the balloons look like balloons and not...well, ummm....what they normally look like on wrecks...

February 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen W

Well maybe the wreckerator thinks Robert Spiderman has eight legs? Lol hence the eight candles. Honestly I loved the cursive on the Happy Birthday Stephanie cake so maybe she should be happy her cake says thanks on it. She can run off and enjoy her cake and not share it with anyone lol. Wow at some of

February 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Strictly speaking, 1023 (3FF hex). I was wondering about that 2 million thing. ("Wow, 21 fingers?!")

February 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I liked seeing parentheses in icing. :)

February 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMary

I think I remember little Bobby Spiderman from the synagogue!

February 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen @ Cup a Dee Cakes

I am going to pretend that Robert Spiderman really exists and operates a hole in the wall attorney practice with his brother. Spiderman & Spiderman, Attys at Law.

February 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJ. Hill

Ya know, I'm going to bookmark this, so I can always come back and look at that no-sprinkles "Sprinkles on it" cookie cake for a nice pick-me-up!

February 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErica


It is as you say.

Also, I woke Mr. Haiku up this morning, grabbed a pencil and an old envelope, and gleefully explained how hard I worked to figure out that 6=8 in a base 1.299 counting system. Then he, quite gently, said, "What are you *talking* about? Those are just hash marks that don't have a 1-to-1 ratio. And why didn't you just use 1 and 1/3? Then it would be exactly 8 instead of almost 8."

And I said, "But 'one point two nine nine' fits the syllable count. . . "

February 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

These are so awesome, I am so passing these on!

February 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFoodie

Actually, Chole's cake does work - it's got an accidental charm of its own.

February 18, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersuertes

And Chloe isn't three years old - she's three year's old with an apostrophe. Seriously!

February 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDaisy

I totally thought the first one said happy birthday ROBOT spiderman....which would have been AWESOME! I have a 3.5yr old that constantly wants to be called names like that. Not unusual to hear...."only call me darth vader this year", or "I'm superman Atom(his actually name) word girl", or maybe "I'm a puppy all day today. Only say my name is Rocco (our cousins dog). Loooomg story short, come August my kiddos 4th birthday cake may just say happy birthday robot spiderman :)


February 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDarbzor

And they wrote "Spiderman". It's "Spider-Man". When I see that, I automatically pronounce it "SPIHderman".

February 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermarvelgurl

And now I know of the epic awesomeness that is "Guy On a Buffalo." Thank God for Cake

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLis

I love that the grammar on Chloe's cake is wrong as well. It frustrates me when people make a plural into a possessive.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

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