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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Mar232012

Dora the Engorger

 

"Hey there, Dora, something seems different today!

 

"Did you change your hair?"

"Or maybe start a career in pillow smuggling?"

 

Ok, ok, to be fair, Dora might be pregnant. It's just a lot less traumatizing to imagine her purple monkey friend is stuffed down her pants holding a basketball. And wow are there a lot of things wrong with that statement.

Still, you must admit: her face looks good on paper...stuck on cake.

Ok, maybe you don't have to admit that.

Oh, and Dora, sweetie, didn't anyone ever tell you to match your foundation to your double chins? Take it from a girl who knows: it's all about the blending. And scarves. Scarves are awesome.

Now I know you can't put a price on perfection, but fortunately this labor of...labor...only cost wreckporter Becky S. a measly two hundred and seventy five dollars. However, she also reports, "when I complained to the bakery, I was told they wished they had charged us more because they had so much work in it." So I guess the price just went up if you want a similar piece of...work. Sorry, guys.  Maybe they'll give you a discount if you bring your own basketball.

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Reader Comments (77)

Maybe it's just me, but I can't imagine spending $275 on ANY cake short of a wedding cake, much less for a toddler's birthday and/or an atrocity like that.

March 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermoses

Actually, I dont see that much wrong with it. Sure, the body is out of proportion and the facial features have been printed out and stuck on, but otherwise....... its a damned sight more professional than many of the other wrecks on this site.

No cake, however, is worth that amount of money. Presumably the purcasher didnt agree a fee at the outset? If not, that's her stupid fault.

March 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCapability Bowes

My 3 year old just saw the picture and said 'its a bad dora cake' lol

March 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomip

E.d.i.b.l.e..i.m.a.g.e.s

March 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertiny p elephant

I am in Canada and still cannot see Cakewrecks in Google Chrome :(

March 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

@zoomom- there's not enough ribbon on the planet.

former cake decorator mode: for the size and complexity- that's not an unreasonable price, actually.
rational, reasonable mode: the price is unreasonable for the quality (or lack thereof).
CW fan mode: to the pain!

March 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Wow.. I am just shocked at how much she paid for that..thing. Scary as it is I would never pay that price tag but I am sure she didn't want to disappoint the kids. Though I hope they weren't terrified by that scary looking Dora. Man I did think it was a baby shower cake at first lol.

March 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

@Ela, definitely a job for Theardare. He should be on a postcard that customers can show to recalcitrant wreckorators: "Say hello to my little friend!"

March 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I don't think people understand what all goes into making some of these cakes. That Dora is STANDING UP. There are structural components to be made, the whole thing is covered in fondant (though not sure why they printed her face out on paper and just stuck it on there). If you ordered that cake ANYWHERE, it's going to be at least that $275, if not more. That is a crazy amount of work. And the bakery or whoever is *kind of* right. Once they saw how much work it was, they knew they should've charged more, which is completely correct. HOWEVER, they should have realized that this order was far beyond their skill level if they can't even pipe on, paint on or create fondant pieces for a face.

I'm not defending the quality of the cake. It's bad. But I AM defending the value of a decorator's time and effort.

March 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Dora needs a diaper change.

And she used too much self-tanning lotion on her face.

:(

March 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

Another post in defense of the decorators. I am a decorator who makes 3d cakes. They are a LOT of work. Sure they didn't pull it off well and should realize that but if done well $275 is well within reason. Hours and hours go into that and they aren't as simple as you might think. Don't believe me? Try it yourself.

March 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Wow, poor Dora looks like she needs to take some water pills.lol

March 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTerrie

Wow...Diego, we hardly knew ye. But apparently *Dora* did...heh...

March 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDenita TwoDragons

In defense of the baker, there is no excuse. Bakers should know whether they are capable of filling their customers' requests. If an order outstrips the baker's abilities, the baker should say so up front. This baker didn't even know how much work would be involved in this kind of cake, which is unprofessional. The baker lied about his or her abilities, which is unfair to the customer. Finally, the baker lowballed the price of a large, complicated cake, which is unfair to all other bakers.

And yeah, $275 is a bit much to spend on a cake for a couple of toddlers, but it's not your money-- it's Becky's money, which the baker took under false pretenses.

March 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

While I can understand wanting to charge $275 for a difficult cake, I would feel that if you're going to charge that much it needs to be a good cake.

Yes, specialty forms are hard to make - I do a similar thing for my jewelry sometimes. And yes the classes ARE expensive.

But you should be able to pass your class before you can charge this much.

Frankly, you should never pay first and then get the cake. Definitely a deposit at worst - and if the person says all money upfront first? - I'd get the heck out of there. Anyone who asks for all the money up front can do "all sales final" nonsense and then do subpar work like this (and yes this is subpar by far).

I mean - these guys were lazy - the bad face, the routund belly, etc.

And the glaring obviously she is not really wearing the backpack because the straps don't even go under the arms.

The bakery is getting what it deserves in criticism IMHO.

Our small town bakery charges that much for a two layer birthday cake, but they are absolutely gorgeous.

March 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMel

I agree with the poster who said she didn't get what she paid for but she didn't pay for what she wanted for either. Yes $275 is alot to pay for a child's birthday cake. But it looks like it was a large cake with alot of servings and it was not a simple sheet cake either (though that might have been better). There is a reason bakers charge high prices for 3-d cakes. Because they require alot of skill and time to execute well. Because to execute on properly require countless "practice" cakes to make sure that a customer doesn't end up with one like this. This clearly lacked the skill part. But a well executed Dora cake with a custom stand from an experienced bakery would have come with a much much higher price tag. No $275 is not a bargin for the cake that was delivered, but had it been a well executed Dora cake it would have been.

March 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

The bakery could have been more accommodating. That is a lot of money for a cake. Did it taste good?

March 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermichele

I don't know what's more disturbing: Dora (who is supposed to be, what... 7 years old??) being pregnant, or the thought of her purple monkey friend stuffed in her shorts...
Ick..

March 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Looks like Dora has finally hit it big.

March 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

I say if the bakery is so proud that they feel they can charge $275 for that disaster. I'd like to know the name of the bakery...so I can warn people! Looks like the "cake" was slapped together in 5 minutes.

March 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermn mom

Are Mya and Tania (Tanian?) IN there?

March 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkel

On the plus side here,
Baker gets boot to the head,
Dora? Boots, belly.

March 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

OMG I had to laugh so so so hard when I saw this, I am a horrible person but this cake looks JUST like this kid at my daughters old school, fat fingers and all. Wow, just wow did the bakers really think showing up with an obesity cake would help them get more costumers??? Hey catch them while there young, then get them hooked on our doughnuts and pies and bam were set for life! Kind of sounds like some other companies out there....... like tobacco companies!! I could go on and on about THIS cake.

March 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjenzizcool

Sadly, as happens with many child actors, Dora lost her way as she coped with the transition to adulthood. I won't go into detail but it involved several sleazy bars, a strip pole and an addiction to flour rich carbs. I won't even tell you the sad tale of the simian black market trading that Boots got into.

March 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGussie

I went from trying to stifle my laughter so as not to wake my mom to righteous indignation, nay, RAGE, upon reading the bakery charged this woman $275.
THERE IS NO JUSTICE IN THE UNIVERSE.

March 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

dora got knocked up by barney

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercharlespg

So I asked my son who that was in the picture. He of course said "Dora". I asked him, "Would you eat that cake?" "No." "Why not?" "She has a big belly. It's not good." LMBO. Even a 5 yr old noticed something was wrong and wouldn't eat it! Also, is it just me or does it look like her pants are sagging too?

April 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

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