My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Hands Down, the World's Creepiest Wedding Topper

Hey future brides and grooms, are you looking for a wedding topper that's:

- Memorable

- Unique


- Disarmingly life-like? 

'Cuz I think we nailed it!



Hey, Amber M., high five!

« Now That's a Bad Day | Main | There's a Moral in Here Somewhere... »

Reader Comments (74)

Hands down, the best one I've seen.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMimiheart

With unfurled pinky,
Groom declares his love and his
claim to the peerage.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

*backing away quietly*

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Also, the man hand is signing "I Love You". The lady hand doesn't seem all that committed. That's a little disturbing.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLynne

Ha! "Disarmingly"!
I've got to hand it to you, Jen, when it comes to puns, you win hands down.
As for that topper, (although it is handsomely done) if I were the bride I wouldn't let someone palm that off on me. I'd knuckle down and finger my way through the catalogue until I found something that really got under my skin.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

I think it's quite handsome...

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Is the groom trying to do the hook 'em horns thing while he sips his bubbly?

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDB

It's perfect for Thing from the Addams Family!

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Nothing screams "Happily Ever After" like dismembered body parts. It was kind of the baker to hide the bloody stumps in the fortuitously red flowers. Now that I've seen the topper, I desperately want to see the cake stand -- was it their dismembered feet, lovingly clad in copies of their wedding shoes? (Actually, done right, that might have morphed this cake from skeevy to snarky.)

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

It's the sequel to the movie "The Hand" only now the hand has a bride and they're BOTH coming to get you! AAAAAAA!

Ahem, okay that is just totally NOT cool. Those hands look more like muppet hands and not at ALL appealing on top of the cake. Why hands? Did the bride actually want this? On another note, the flowers do look lovely but they're really not enough of a distraction from the disembodied drinking hands. UGH.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes6

I mean, come on! Who makes a fist of rock with a champagne glass in hand?

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Mutual heart-theft.
Penalty: traditional
medieval hand lops.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

No fair! Zoomom took all of my puns!

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

what about those cups, people?? If you're willing to let plastic cups that approximate the shape of ice cream bowls stand in for champagne flutes or wine glasses, you've already lost.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCashew

Mouth agape
I've seen a lot of wrecks here,
but this one takes the cake!

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

LOLOL@zoomom. As for this topper, well done but very creepy. Good for a halloween wedding.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

AAAAGH! The bride has man hands! Uh, I mean, a man hand.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Sparkle

It's too bad the hands are so creepy, the roses are really quite beautiful!

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLynea

First thing I thought of was that old episode of MST3K, "Manos: the Hands of Fate," and that creepy Torgo music.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHowlin Mad

I couldn't get your site to load three times this morning. It just kept redirecting to "null." I was a little afraid you had decided to go through with shutting down the site, but it's nice to see you are still bringing the funny!

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterColleen Marie

Is it just me, or does the groom's thumb look like a nub? Is it just the distortion from the "glass"?

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

"Also, the man hand is signing "I Love You". The lady hand doesn't seem all that committed. That's a little disturbing."

@Lynne. I see what you mean. It almost looks like she is saying, "I will think have to think about it."

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

The only thing that could "top" this would be goldfish in the glasses. Awesome!

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

Am I the only one thinking of the Fire Swamp after Lynea's post? "It's really quite beautiful..."

Perhaps the bride and groom have sunk into Lightning Sand. Their last act was a toast to their doomed love before being completely submerged.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Maybe the groom was using the "Hook 'Em" sign to symbolize that he "hooked" himself a keeper? Hmm? Just me? Okay.

All in all, still just wrong...

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

"Disarmingly"... Snicker... titter... giggle... guffaw... (blinkblink)... BWA, HAHAhHhahAhhAhAhAhAhAhahAAHAHahA!!!!

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

OR...maybe one (or both) of them has a prosthesis and they are celebrating their uniqueness??

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

@Haiku Joy: I am especially fond of your "Mutual Heart-Theft" post. Hee.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Who even thinks ordering hands on a cake is cool?

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteramanda

Bonus: you can use them as rock-on hands at concerts on your honeymoon, and nobody will mosh you because you're carrying severed limbs. Booyeah!

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

Yay! I'm not losing my mind! Someone else also had trouble with the site today! Okay, I realize I shouldn't be celebrating that necessarily but it's really nice to know I'm not completely crazy. And this topper is beyond creepy! I like the idea of using it for a Halloween wedding though.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBubbe

Should have listened to the little voice that said, "Don't scroll down! Don't scroll down!"

Well done, but very, very creepy.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie


i so do not want a slice...gristle and bones and..... well...... ICK!!

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterVelvetfeet

Let's least the hands aren't deathly pale with fingers that look like they bend the wrong way.

Ok, I gave the 'look on the bright side' thing a try -- not cutting it.

The wreckerator was glad of the opportunity to get some hands-on experience with digital cake design.

He: "I love you. Might I suggest that you 'rock on'? Cheerio."

'She': "Meh."

The cylindrical wrist is a tad concerning, as well.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Were you down all morning? I was in a state of withdrawal when I couldn't get to the site!!! Don't do that to me EVER AGAIN!!!!

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

I have been corrupted. I looked at the cake and thought "KEWL!!!"

Alas, I fear I shall be banned from CW and lose all my mirth points.

I do, however, think that "her" hand should have been signing ILY as "his" is. Soooo close!

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDi

Must be fans of Seinfeld - the "bride" has manhands!

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkkw

Why aren't there rings?

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzzzzz78759

Aww, Thing found himself a soulmate! Isn't that sweet?

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMel

The bride's pinky looks painfully twisted, and I can't tell from this angle where the groom's thumb is going ... or if it's even all there.

Yeah, definitely on the creepy side.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCaySedai

Maybe it could go with the armless bride dress cake - as long as we are going grotesque.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

I rather like that one. I would like it even better if the feet someone mentioned were present.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterwrittenwyrdd

I'm having a Masochism Tango moment here.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterYvonne

Hoping this is a same-sex wedding... with that extended pinky and all.... just sayin'.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHoundmom


Thank you! I wondered if the idea was too obscure for others to get, but then I decided to write it for myself anyhow. I'm glad others liked it!

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I can't stop thinking about the corpse bride now.
"With this hand,
I will lift your sorrows.
Your cup will never empty,
For I will be your wine...."

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

So much effort to make something so hideous... and I'll bet it cost an arm and a leg.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Love. The. Pinky.

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterK

I saw this and the first thing I though of was little Emily and Thomas from our 3rd grade "rock, paper scissors" epic showdown...Awww they fell in love! He might have won the game, but she won his heart!

( I still find this disturbing, but eh, to each his own!)

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

When in doubt, pinky out!

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErica M

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