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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Mar072012

There's a Moral in Here Somewhere...

Attempt #1:

"This is hideous. And why is there a giant blank space?"

"That's where you put a 'Happy Birthday' candle!"

"So it'll read, 'Happy Birthday 1st Theodore?!'"

"Is that a problem?"

 

Attempt #2:

"Ok, the inscription is fixed, but where'd all the decorations go?"

"Decorations?"

 

Attempt #3:

(AKA when the manager-who-used-to-be-a-baker steps in to "fix" everything.)

"THANK YOU. Was that really so har...wait a second.

"'Theardare?'"

 

Thanks to Sam and her dad for documenting what must have been the most frustrating bakery pick-up EVER. (And for the record, they just brought the last one home. Because the third time's the charm - or when you remember little Theodore can't read yet anyway.

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Reader Comments (71)

So all these were for the same order? Are the first two bakers not fired? Because if they were I'd like to know where this bakery is so I can apply for the job. I know I can follow directions better than that.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

That is why you shouldn't get cake from the grocery store!

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Forget the cake (there's no sprinkles anyway).

I am a little in love with apocalypse cat!
I think his name is Theadare.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I work in a grocery store and we make really nice cakes, Anna. They're all just basic sheet cakes (and some filled cakes, but nothing crazy with stacking or fondant or anything) but the handwriting is really nice on them and the decorations are all pretty if not plain and boring and classic (roses, etc.)

However, how can they get it wrong THREE TIMES? And I don't even work in the bakery section of my store, but if someone asks me to write on a cake and no one is back there and I give it a shot, I always warn them that the handwriting will be iffy looking, and it STILL turns out neater than that... And I always am sure to write down exactly what they want written and show it to them first to be sure!

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTracey

Ordinal number
pulled in by the gravity
of Sun Theodore.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

i like the cat too & agree with Fluffy Cow that his name should be Theadare. I think maybe he should grace the end of every post that makes you want to smack your head.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

Ya'll realize it looks like Birthday is misspelled on the second cake, right? There's no way that's a R!

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

I think this is conclusive proof Darwin's Theory of Evolution doesn't apply to Wreckerators. In fact, right after frosting the 3rd cake the wreckerator's thumbs fell off (without opposition.)

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

If they had just waited two or three more times, they might have have the
most acceptable cake ever!

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

if i have a son, he's so getting named theardare. i really don't know which cake is worse, #1 or 2.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

And the moral is, one cake is as good as another to a... ONE year old!

I love how you made the punchline read, "little Theodore can't read yet anyway."

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKindergarten Teacher

Theodore - so young
can't appreciate Cake Wrecks
not yet anyway!

Wow. Clearly all these wreckers have the same thing in common - complete and utter lack of common sense. Maybe they should think about how they would want a cake for THEM to look. Oh second thought, no, that might (would!) make it worse!

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergrneyes6

But wouldn't the first two cakes be ineligible then? Only the third one made it home, so technically, those first two weren't actually paid for.

(FInally got around to reading the submission guidelines. )

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Happy Birthday Teddy, with plastic flotsam bear...so much easier!

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDonna N

Well, look at the bright side- they're all cake inside. I hope.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn

Three times a charm for young Theardare. (That should be a game...Theardare instead of Truth or Dare.)

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHowlin Mad

Now we see the makings of what's going to be one spoiled brat. I can just imagine what his cakes are going to look like when he can actually TALK and place his own orders to his doting mommy and daddy, and big sister.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJo

@Katie:
if you name your son Theardare, they'll surely spell it Theodore on his birthday cake.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Personally, I would have either gotten the letters that spell out "Happy Birthday" for the first one, or told them to stick the balloon flotsam from the first one onto the second one. I'm kind of surprised they didn't do that for the second one, and did an entirely new cake.

This is definitely a place that isn't staying in the decorated cake business long.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

Good god, I agree with poster who joked about evolution-I think they find these primordial people in the swamps. LOL@ the last picture XD

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

My almost 15 year old Theodore approved. :)

Of course he goes by Theo currently.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNewbuffalomom

Theodore? I thought this was 2012, not 1912. Poor kid.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrekkie Gal

Rambo Kitty made me lol, which is why I stop in here everyday.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

My favorite part of the post (aside from "Theardar"), is the kitteh with an AK. Which I'm ganking to use as my FaceBook profile picture. So there. MWA, HAHAHAHAhAhaHAhahAhAhAhAhAha.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I think they messed up the "1" on the first cake as well- it really looks like it's been partially scraped off there and the top of the "1" is dodgy.
I would have asked for a blank cake and a tube of piping gel and done it myself after the third effort.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercolleenoz

Today's cakes are brought to you by Not Shakespeare:

"It is the East, and Theodore is the Sun"

"Hide me with a dead man in his shroud upon which is written 'Happy 1st Birthday Theodore'"

"That which we call Theardare by any other name would smell as sweet"

In conclusion:
"For never was a story of more woe
Than this of 1st Birthdays and poor Theod-owe"

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I think the cat has the correct reaction here...

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

@Trekkie Gal - I'm disagreeing with you. Theodore is a classic, and is commonly abbreviated to Ted. Would you go up to Theodore Anthony "Ted" Nugent and tell him he's a fusty leftover from 1912? He'd punch you in the nose.

Theodore's mom & dad - great name - hope you have better luck finding preprinted merchandise than I do looking for Walter (and my son is the fourth, so there are three awesome guys he's named after).

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPamtha

@SuBee-
You made me lol! SO true!

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

no one noted yet that the balloons did NOT look like sperm? this can be added to what has to be a very small CW file of those.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterftw

Jean de la Fontaine
grabs fork and consumes fabled
Moral of the Cake.
.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

@Andrea - That was awesome!! LMAO!

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

At that point they were probably thinking: "What the heck. IT'S CAKE." (And I would agree with them.)

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHannah A

It is just amazing how being a frequent Cake Wrecks visitor makes you approach cake ordering and bakery visits a little differently. I am so glad they photographed all the cakes to share. A friend and I were co-hosting a baby shower (which I ended up missing thanks to the early birth of my daughter), and when we ordered the shower cake, we both agreed that, based on the guy taking the order and the way things were written on the form, we might end up with a wreck, but if we did, it would be awesome to submit it! :)

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Oh noes!

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThey Call Me Crafty

My boyfriend works cutting meat at the deli, and when they ask him to write on a cake anyway, it at least is correct and legible! Good Lord. And people wonder why I go to the effort of doing all my cakes myself when there's an event that needs one.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergothchiq

I would have just put decorations on the second cake.

I make cakes for a hobby and I would not have let ANY paying customer see any of these cakes!

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Crazy Caker

@Andrea,

Forsooth, a lively jest.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I think the moral is to name your kid Alvin or Simon. No one cared about Theodore.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

The second cake is almost perfect - I'm ignoring some weird dots in Theodore's name. They couldn't just pipe on some balloons while they waited? They had to do a whole new one??!?! Just add some sprinkles!? No?

[insert apocalypse cat]

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth B

I used to work for a grocery store bakery and seen this happen more than people want to think. They would not train any of the other staff to write on cakes, so when a customer would grab a cake out of the case and want something written on it, it could get pretty messy. Usually someone from the deli, or the poor person that is hired part time to clean the bakery at night is the one stuck doing the writing...

I have dealt with many a unhappy customer the next day after these scenarios!

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

@Pamtha - I don't know anyone under the age of 60 that is named Theodore (and btw, Ted Nugent is 63). It's quite an old-fashioned name. As is Walter, which is why you can't find things with his name on them. Poor kid.

@Andrea - Not Shakespeare is so much better than the original!! *snicker*

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrekkie Gal

@Trekkie Gal - Ted on How I Met Your Mother is named Ted. His name is probably Theodore. Walter on The Finder is named Walter and is pretty young. But I actually knew a Walter in college, he's in his 30s now. These names are not dead yet.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCGP

@ Julie - so true!!!! LOL.

Love the [insert apocalypse cat here]

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

I discovered Cakewrecks at a time when I was going through a horrible ordeal with a designer. I am a photographer. The designer's job was to put my images on note cards, which would be printed at her place of business. The designer made so many mistakes. I would try, over and over again, to point out the errors so that she could correct them, but nothing I did helped. She refused to understand or care. The total cost for the design and printing was over $600. The job was full of mistakes, making at least 10% of the cards useless. But neither the designer nor her employer cared. They refused to take responsibility. I was in tears for a week. Raising the money to pay for that work job was not easy. Reading Cakewrecks, and knowing that I was not alone in the world, helped me a lot. I laughed so much reading through months of the blog!

The story told in this blog - in which neither the staff nor manager was capable of producing even a basic simple decoration after 3 tries- exemplifies an issue with designers in all fields everywhere. If a customer pays for a person's time and talent - they expect, at a minimum, that this person grasps the difference between successful and unsuccessful communication - be that verbal (with words) or visual (with images and design) communication. Yes, this is only a cake, but tells a larger truth. Beware consumers! Before paying someone to design for you: Ask for references. Ask to see examples. Ask about guarantees and returns.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterInnovation3M

Trekkie Gal,

My condolences on being raised in a barn and taught no manners. Good luck adjusting to life around normal people.

Theodore and Walter are both lovely names. I would take these any day over Apple, Mckennalalynna, and yet another name ending in -aden.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJT

Just checked & Theodore was has been in the top 300 baby boy names since the 90's. It was more popular before that, but that's still pretty high on the list! (Looks like Walter is closer to 400)

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

love the "going postal" cat! :)

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSueP

She: "Ok, so it's triplets. What shall we name them?"

He [fake Aussie accent]: "Well, I thought we might call them 'Bruce' just to keep things simple and avoid confusion."

She: "Or not."

He: "What about Alvin, Simon and Theodore?"

She: "No Simon. Can't you just hear the taunts of other kids now?"

He: "Ok, Alvin, 1st Theodore and 2nd Theodore."

She: "Your input is appreciated."

He: "Larry, Curly and Moe?"

She [staring at ceiling]: "THANK you, that WILL be all."

Somehow, the '1st & 2nd Theodore' stuck, and the rest is history.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

@Trekkie Gal - When I was a young girl everyone was named Jennifer or Michael. No one would consider naming their child Emily or Olivia or Henry (too old fashioned.) I have no doubt that Theodore and Walter shall rise again!
And when they do, they're going to be miffed.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

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