My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Reduce, Reuse, Re-Wreck

"HoooooEEE! Come on down and get your very own genuine 'Nawlins Mardi Gras Bourbon Street Cajun Jambalaya King Cake while they last! '

"Fresh like it was made yesterday!"


"Um, Jim?"

"Yeah, Bob?"

"It's April."




"Easter 'Danish rings!' Get your genuine fresh Easter 'Danish Rings' right here!"


Thanks to Chris B. and Alison V. for the peep show.

« Easter Enigmas | Main | Spring Sweets »

Reader Comments (63)

"It's dead, Jim."

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Ah, the traditional deep-fried Easter donut-like King-cake-esque confection. With Peeps. And chocolate eggs. 'Cuz nothing says Easter like bunnies and eggs. Now if only *they* were deep-fried...

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLet Them Eat Cake

Is that the same cake in both pictures? Because by the way it looks like they scraped the icing off, it may very well be!

If not, congratulations on a staggering coincidence!

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Why is there a random tiny plastic baby in the middle of the first ring??

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJudy Q.

Uh what is that setting in the middle of the first cake? A one armed baby? Did that think that really added to the cake? Hmmmm and just because you added easter colors to a cake does not make it an Easter cake. That is one Easter mess. lol

Cake number two. Where bunnies come from. It never ceases to amaze me. We teach our children that a fat man in red on flying in a sleigh in the coldest part of the world gives us expensive gifts, that the tooth fairy with give us money for violently pulling out our last bloody tooth, and that bunnies not only lay eggs but they go around giving out candy and gifts as well. Then we have to break their hearts around seven or eight years of age and tell the truth. Yes I am guilty as sin too. lol

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTerrie

Easter Danish Rings are not giant deep-fried donuts covered in icing and sprinkles. Stop trying to scare people!!!
It's a baked brioche; before it's baked, the dough is rolled out and it's filled with delicious foil covered chocolate eggs.. A "plain" Easter Danish Ring is cinnamon, but the really good ones from bakeries usually have some combination of Cadbury Eggs, Jelly Bellies and those bunnies that taste like Circus Peanuts. Easter Danish Rings from grocery stores usually do have that lame doughnut filling with flavors like lemon or strawberry.
Oh, and whoever finds the marshmallow peepbaby does not bake next year's Easter Danish Ring; they bring the next Ring to the next party or gathering that takes place in the bunker. If it's an office situation, the person who finds the peepbaby brings the next Easter Danish Ring when the Ring they found the peepbaby in is eaten. But they're not Easter Bunny for the day. They just have to buy the next Easter Danish Ring.
Also, Easter Danish Rings are beautiful when they're done right. They are a delicious, rare example of a southern dessert that isn't that bad for you. Unless you consider your mental health...

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Ummm, is that SPINACH DIP in the center of the Easter Danish????

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteraj

What is the significance of the baby in the middle of the Mardi Gras danish? Did I miss something? Perplexing...

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Shaking head in disbelief! Shame on the store that is trying to pass these off and yes I can recognize the label.

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTraci

Can you say, "preservative overload"?

I knew you could.

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSyl B

Spinach artichoke
hummus - traditional nest
for gestating peeps.

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Wow, that's so......wrong!! And forgive me for asking, but I've never had a King Cake...isn't the baby supposed to be INSIDE the cake???

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrekkie Gal

Cue the anti-humor brigade: "How dare you make fun of traditional, delicious, baked-and-not-fried Danish Rings," etc., etc.

I like coconut, marshmallows, cheap chocolate thingies, and danishes separately, but looking at that combination makes me feel a little ill. Maybe it's the cabbage-purple smears? Or the pus-white and infected-pus-yellow smears? Probably just smears in general.

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Oh, come ON, EVERYONE knows that taking away the baby and throwing in a couple stale peeps and a few foil-wrapped chocolate eggs makes it an Easter Danish!!!!

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I can SO see someone trying to do that....

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

What I loved most about that first pic is how the glare on the plastic made it look like the cake was on fire.
Then I was sad that the cake was not actually on fire.

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKati

The peep bunnies make it so festive!!!

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbmbagain803

Sweet jumping Jehoshaphat, even the *picture* looks stale enough to suck the moisture out of my mouth. :-p

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDenita TwoDragons

Oh my god...

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCakecraze

And the sell by date was 3/31/12. Definitely pre-Easter

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercatplumtree

Oh my god...

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLulu

You enjoyed King Cake Epcot didn't you?Tsk,tsk.

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterspel chek

Bravo SuBee! That was fantastic!

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Is there a special King Cake room in the Epcot bunker? Just wondering... I'll bring the peeps!

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermichelej

You just had to poke that whole King Cake thing with a stick one more time didn't you......heehee, naughty Jen!

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarolineB

To those who are wondering why there's a baby in the middle of the first cake, you must go to:
Then you must read the comments.
ALL OF THEM. It's very educational.

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEpcotlover

I'm pretty sure that the first cake is a Passover ring cake; it's a special Passover recipe handed down from Bubbie to Bubbie for generations - no flour, no leavening, but it does have a baby Moses, the ring calling to mind the basket where Moses spend his first days. It would be better if he was in a sea of spinach dip, but some traditions leave out the dip in favor of a more crowd pleasing puddle of sugar glaze. The Easter Danish ring, of course, came from this tradition. There is evidence that it was eaten at the Last Supper, along with the very delicious and good for you chocolate covered matzahs.

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I think I got a cavity just looking at the Easter Danish Ring.

@ SueBee : - )

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

SuBee for the win! Jen you just had to poke the bear didn't you? I approve. Now, off to the bunker. Since someone is already bringing peeps, I'll bring the foil wrapped eggs.

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

@SuBee: Is the Easter Danish Ring delivered by the Holiday Armadillo? (Oh, wait, that's Hanukkah...) Another excellent post. I salute you!

Now I'm off to order some Racine Kringle -- a *real* danish pastry ring -- because you guys put the idea in my head. Don't you realize how suggestable we are? So much for low carb...

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Some places don't put the baby inside the King Cake for "liability" reasons. Out of towners are always aware that they are there so they bite down on it and break teeth or might choke on it.

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAutumn

This just shows that the stores had a lot of frozen king cakes that they needed to get rid of.

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

anyone else notice the baby jockey in the middle of the top pic. ?

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergreenpezz47

It's never a bad time for King Cake.

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKira

Those? They're not cakes. Not even close. I'm not sure WHAT they are. They might contain cake ingredients (in questionable proportions, given the appearance), they might be on sale in a cake emporium, from a cake display. They may even be being sold by someone who might be some sort of a cake technician (I hesitate to use the word 'baker' here) but they are NOT cake. Sorry. They're just NOT. Hell, I'm not even sure they'd count as 'baked goods'. Because there's no 'good' about them.

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim Anderson

Nice philosophical solution to the vexing problem of baby location in king cakes, which top scientists have been working on for over a year. Technically, it's outside, but at the same time, inside the cake. It does make the baby rather easy to find, though.

The bunker can be equipped with supplemental shielding for especially severe EPCOTs. Tests have shown that this shielding can withstand the highest cluelessness flux ever detected -- we all know when that was. (See how I avoided offending any specific person or group of persons, there.)

Speaking of the bunker, I'll bring the plastic babies; can someone bring a suitably-decorated carrot cake?

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I moved to Wisconsin from Louisiana when I was eight years old. In the Germanic north they have a dessert similar to King cakes called Kringles. I thought, "Man, these people must party a lot."

Much to my dissapointment, Kringles aren't the same a King Cakes,they're more like glorified apple turnovers. And there aren't any baby dolls in them either.

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I'm jumping in the epcot bunker too. Anyone bringing jelly beans yet?

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

Why are people confused? It's an American-style King Cake being re-purposed as an "Easter Danish Ring". Fat Tuesday, the day most traditionalists stop eating King Cakes, was February 21. These are OLD cakes, and even fresh-made they don't last long before going stale. So... GROSS.

Plus, without getting political or religious... for those confused about eggs and bunnies on Easter, go read! Both have a very long and rich history with the holiday.

(Sorry, I'm if I'm testy, pain meds have yet to kick in...)

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChristyB

For those of you who have no idea about Louisiana Mardi Gras tradition: The top one is definitely a king cake, and they taste like a cinnamon roll. (And there are some bakeries that will make them year round, but decorate them for different holidays.) As part of tradition, a baby was hidden inside (to represent Jesus since New Orleans especially is heavily Catholic, and Mardi Gras followed by Lent and Easter are religious holidays) and whoever got the piece with it had to buy the next king cake. Since people became sue-happy after they bit on a plastic baby hidden in the cake, they just place the baby in the middle for you to hide yourself after you buy the cake.

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

It makes me so sad that those are from Publix, they should know better!!!!!

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie

One ring to rule them all!...well......maybe not

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMindyLouWho


How long until the mental health considerations? I'll take my vacation time then.

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Reduce, Reuse, Re-Epcot

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGretchen

The baby in the first photo symbolizes Jesus in a traditional KING CAKE. Not in the Easter Danish pictured here. It used to be baked into the cake but for safety reasons (so the bakery doesn't get sued if someone chokes on it) they now put it outside for the customer to insert later.

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTraci

@Subee - I laughed so hard I snorted. Kudos!

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJael

Oh, @SuBee, I love you!

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKati

I find this quite offensive, being from New Orleans. Most people do not pronounce it Nawlins, but rather New Or-lens or New Or-leans. And King Cake is not some weird Jambalaya thing, its a sweet bread-like pastry covered with icing and sugar like the first picture. And we most definitely do not, reuse the same concept of king cakes for all holidays.

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteroffended

I am laughing SOOOOOO hard right now. This is great. Just... I am crying. (BTW thank you so much for updating every day. I so often need a wreck fix just to make it to the next day).

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterotherpotato

That baby has had enough time to crawl out of the king cake.

April 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGeorge P

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