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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Apr252012

Oh boy...

[breathing]

Okay, john... you don't have to vomit. You can get through this...

[sipping Pepto]

I mean sure, you shouldn't have looked at it but it's just a cake...

[pacing]

I mean, somebody ate it...

[gagging]
[sweating]
[tearing up]

Maybe if I just look at it again, I can get it over wi...

BLUARGARGARGURG!!!

 

Thanks to Sam H. for being such a toe-tally fungi.

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Reader Comments (204)

O.o Why, oh why didn't I heed your warnings? In what world is this appetizing? *runs to the bathroom*

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

That is so unnecessary this early in the morning.....ugh that is freaking nasty!!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlauren

I never saw a recessed toe
I never hoped to see one
Now burned into my retina so
Forever will I see one

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

That is beyond foul. whoever made or ordered that is seriously disturbed. How could someone cut into and then EAT that!?!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPatti

WHY?!? I mean, Just, WHY!?! It's a well done nasty diseased foot. But why? And who in the holy mother of Satan would eat that!?!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

As gross as this is, it is well done. Can you imagine having to decorate that? I wonder how many times the baker vomited in their mouth.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCasey@ The Baker Bee

That has to be the most disgusting thing! Why anyone thought that would be a good idea is BEYOND me!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

oh barf!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

Once upon a birthday dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious cake of forgotten woe,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my kitchen window.
`'Tis some baker,' I muttered, `tapping at my kitchen window -
Only this, and rightly so.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember of my appetite was laid low.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From a cake surcease of sorrow - sorrow for my deformed toe -
For the rare and lovely foot which sadly my form must forego -
Evermore fungus to grow.

And the silken sad uncertain folding of each fondant curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some baker entreating entrance at my kitchen window -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my kitchen window; -
Bearing a birthday cake to bestow,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Wreckorator, truly your baked goodness will overflow;
But the fact is I was crying, and so gently you came spying,
And so faintly you came trying, trying to deliver at my window,
That scarce my misshapen foot could bring me - here I opened wide the window; -
Horror there! Baked fungal toe!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDB

Stephen Tyler fan?

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercritter42

What is WRONG with people?

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNot a Baker

Ohhh goodness. I wish I hadn't looked at that... Feet... *shudder*

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

At least the vomit spells "Happy Birthday".

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

This should be illegal

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJewlz

I *think* it also says happy birthday... ... in green slime.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnon

all that came to mind... " how awful " lol

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

Oh, and puke-colored writing too. Charming.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSteve the Pocket

If it were me baking and decorating that cake, I would have gone all out like that, too. Well done, baker, well done. (Yes, I do also find it disturbing...and funny.)

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterwrittenwyrdd

Yesterday, fungal toe was still so far away
Now it looks as if it’s here to stay
Oh, I wish it were yesterday.

Suddenly, I am seeing things I can’t unsee
Just how yellow can a toenail be?
My breakfast came up suddenly.

Why it had to grow, second row, I couldn’t say
I saw something wrong, now I long for yesterday

Yesterday, fungal toe was just a game we’d play
Can’t it find a place to hide away?
Oh, I wish it were yesterday.


@DB: Woot! That was epic! I can't wait for your rendition of "The Tell-tale Wart."

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I've seen some gross images on here but that one really takes the toe jam. Blech!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMermonster

o.O

WTH!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Where is the eye bleach?!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie

I thought Sharon was good, but then DB blew me away!

I must have become completely immune to barfing by sight, as I marveled at the skill of the wreckerator to provide in such detail the essence of rotten toe. Good thing this post wasn't a sound byte from John.

Boggles the mind as to why this was a birthday cake, who it could be for, and when it would be appropriate, much less where. The "WHAT???!!!" was already covered...

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDi

Wow, a foot. Something I wouldn't want to put in my mouth in the first place, but with every nasty condition a podiatrist could possibly charge for short of gangrene.

All it needs is to have stepped in poop. Can we stick a few half melted twix under it?

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNickol

First - why would anyone even THINK to order such a vile cake. Then why would ANY baker take such an order. FInally, howcome the camera did not break photographing such a horrible and vile cake. EEEWWWW. But I LOVED the poem!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSam

Sharyn, very nice as usual.

DB who ARE you? Where did you come from? Very impressive poetry, Edgar Allen Toe!

HaikuJoy, the gauntlet has been thrown.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

@Sharyn - You ARE hilarious! I haven't read that poem since middle school! (I prefer the purple cow!)

@DB - I think I love you. That IS my favorite poem, I had it memorized in high school but have since let my memory slip. Thanks for the fun alternative. :)

Let us not question WHY someone would want to celebrate with a cake with a hammertoe, bloody nails, a large corn and fungus but rather cling together and think of our happy place. Oh yes, and try NOT to vomit...*GLURG*

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes6

Reminds me of the time I was volunteering in youth group, and for the youth pastor's b-day I gave him a picture of my black & blue foot (I'd bruised the bone playing dodge ball), with the note "Have a toe-tally awesome b-day". He loved it!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnony

I just threw up a little in my mouth. Thanks for that.

Also, this is the WORST birthday cake ever!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTaraD

Bleh!!! That icing wording looks liked phlegm!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

YUCK! And that shiny, puss-colored runny-looking icing isn't helping either!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen @ Cup a Dee Cakes

Okay, John... Motion seconded and passed - <I>BLLLLUUURRRRGGGHHHHH</I>. *urpppp* Pardon me. Please pass the brain/eye bleach - thank you.

Without doubt, THE Worst.Cake.Idea.Ever. Don't care if that's exactly what was ordered or not (and if it was, I suppose the execution IS skillful enough), it was a very bad idea.

Oh, and props to DB - good job on the toe-try.... Or should I say Edgar Allan Poe-try?

1) Who in their right mind orders a Birthday Foot cake?

2) KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGina

In what universe is this even remotely considered a good idea? o_O

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Holy Foot, that is foul!

And I just want to say that DB's poem is toe-riffic!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmye

Can someone please explain the reason behind such a cake? It will bother me until I know the story behind this.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterColleen

I actually just gagged.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMBaracuda

You might say the baker really put his or her foot in it, but I think it was toeing the line.

I hope no one follows in their steps, because this type of cake is pretty lame.

If they were looking to kick delicious-looking cakes to the curb, however, well... they really nailed their objective.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLulu

I shouldn't have looked. This is one morning I'm really, really glad I skipped breakfast!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

@DB lolol XD What occasion calls for that kind of cake< and WHY?!?!?!?!?! D:

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Sick and wrong.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjulie

SHUDDER ... come ON, some people are trying to eat their oatmeal!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBubbe

I don't care what the reason is, or how well it's executed, but this is beyond wrong!
On a separate note, if this is modeled from real life, where the heck do you find shoes that fit? Any thought to make this memory go away :-)

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbmbagain803

That's disgusting. DB, I love the Poe-m!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea H.

I was eating a sandwich. John. Now I shall NEVER eat again...thanks a lot!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCristi

There's not enough words in the English language (and probably not in any other) to express what a creepy, horrific, stomach-turning cake that is

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterA queasy mouse

"That's word because you know
U can't touch this (oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh)
Break it down
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh)
Stop Hammer Toe Time"

Really, the baker shouldn't have touched this! ;-()

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSM3

What an excellent cake for a podiatrist!

Have often wondered what the post party cake looked like - how much was left? Left on each plate? Or if the cake is so good anyone would overlook the gory details?

So, today, is WTF defined as "What the foot?" "What the fungi?" Am still chuckling over What the FERN!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoanie

I can't stop looking at it! and laughing. So wrong.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdutchgirl

When this post loaded on my phone, the tiny picture did NOT look like a foot, but rather a companion post to yesterday's "balls" post. LOL. That being said, the foot cake was a relief. :P

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

Was this a birthday cake for a foot doctor?

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAM

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