Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
May012012

UNHAND THAT WRECK!

You guys have seen the bizarre new meme called One Tiny Hand, right?

 

It's pretty much like this.


Anyway, as with so many viral sensations, One Tiny Hand has made its way into cake form!

 

You, uh, might want to brace yourself.

 

Although, to be honest, it might take you a second to actually notice the hand...

 

 

And now, a little poetry.

ONE TINY HAND

WILL TICKLE YOU IN YOUR SLEEP

WHILE BABY BIG HEAD WATCHES

WITH HIS DEAD-EYED STARE

MAKING THOSE MAGGIE SIMPSON "SQUICKA SQUICKA" NOISES

ON HIS PACIFIER.

MANY, MANY YEARS OF THERAPY LATER

YOU STILL FEEL THE TICKLE.

FAHRVERGNUGEN.

 

Hey Michelle F., thanks for the hand out.

« Star Wreckin' Across the Universe | Main | Basic Instructions »

Reader Comments (37)

We're so sorry Baby Albert
We're so sorry that we caused you all this pain
We're so sorry Baby Albert
That we put your severed head on ugly cake
But we gave it a tiny hand, a friend insane

Haaaaaaaaaand across the rattle (rattle)
Heeeeeeaaaad across the cake
Haaaaaaaaaand across the rattle (rattle)
Heeeeeeaaaad across the cake

(with apologies to Paul but not to the wreckorator)

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDB

Pacify that cake
before it becomes angry,
thwacks us with the toy.

~~~

Jen, what did you do? Rarely does a cake actually frighten or sicken me. This did both.

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

My hand is small, I know
But since I'm such a huge psycho
And I might use the nuclear codes
My praise must be spoken

Frusen gladje

@DB: Well done! "Naa, na, na, na na na na, na na na na, hand dude..."

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

What is that baby trying to climb out of?

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

I like the use of the "FAHRVERGNUGEN" at the end. YOU are a warrior poet.

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCristi

FAHRVERGNUGEN: is that the horse Broomhilda rides in Robin Hood Men in Tights? Because that brings a whole new dimension to the terrifying tickling.

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChelsea

"Making those Maggie Simpson 'squicka squicka' noises" made me burst out into laughter...which was sorely needed after seeing that cake. Why didn't they just go ahead and give it one half-closed eye like the baby doll in Toy Story 3, and really go all the way with the creep factor?

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelindaB

♪ He sees you
And he'll freeze you
Hand on rattle to unease you
He's a head case
And he knows just what it
Takes to make a heart race
He got us screaming to the skies
With those creepy baby eeeeeeyes! ♫

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzieQ

Tiny hand looks like it was playing in poop before it found that toy (which my son has, btw - it might have to end up in the trash after that scariness).

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShelley

Oh my goodness! I think I could have handled the cake, but that poem has crept down into the darkest recesses of my brain and will spawn nightmares for the rest of my life. Jen, you are a diabolical genius! . . . . shudder . . . .

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLeighAnn

cake will eat me, cake will eat me, cake will eat me, cake will eat me D:

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Adapted from Jewel's "Hands"
...
Poverty stole his golden shoes
It didn't steal his laughter
And heartache came to visit him
But he knew it wasn't ever after
We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a babe who has no arms
There ours shall go swinging
His hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are his own
But they're not yours, they are his own
He is never broken.


When will wreckerators learn that cannibalism is frowned upon in this society?

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnna B

Would you STOP doing this? You keep giving me new things to be frightened of and I don't want to be the knife-wieiding maniac who feels the need to destroy any cake with a face on it (let alone a pervasive tiny hand) before it comes to life in the night and makes it's way into my bedroom while I'm sleeping and .......whimper....

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarolineB

Uncle Fester and Thing....nah, too easy.

Why is the hand dirty? Has it been burying the bodies from the bloody masacre in the background of that cake? Let's see...at least one Human...a Luxan....a Delvian....

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Hey, it's Cookie from "You Don't Know Jack"!

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

This post made me giggle hysterically, but not for the reasons you might expect...

It was the "FAHRVERGNUGEN".

You see, lo these many years ago when Volkswagen came up with that idiotic ad campaign, it went "old school viral" (to wit: t-shirts and bumper stickers) almost instantly, and some of the -ahem- variations were... Hysterical. "Farfrompukin" was one of my faves.

So seeing that word in a clever poem about a truly unspeakable cake brought back many a fond (or possibly 'fondant') memory for me!

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

@Haiku Joy - extra points to you for using the excellent word "thwack"

@Sharyn - now I want some ice cream! :-) o>

@SuzieQ - that song always creeped me out anyway… great repurposing!

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDB

No redeeming qualities of this cake. Maybe to inspire awesome poetry (but just).

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

Actually, no, I HADN'T seen the "tiny hand" meme, even though I spend ridiculous amounts of time on the Internet each day, and I really can't thank you for bringing it to my attention. Now I'm going to have nightmares about hideous cakes that want to eat ME. Again.

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Not content to wreck the cake, the baby shower, and everyone's sanity, the wreckerator has also ruined a perfectly good cardboard box. It's the ending of Se7en, in delicious cake form, with "balloons."

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

I always like the cakes where you get free gifts, so there's that....but heck, if you look past the baby (good luck with that), what's up with the CAKE ITSELF!!! It's like some bloody Jackson Pollock painting! Doesn't exactly scream baby shower cake, now does it?

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

did you learn about the One Tiny Hand thing from Felicia Day's new YouTube show? If not you should check it out, its awesome! It's called "The Flog" and it is a web journal for Felicia Day, menaing it by default has to be awesome!

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

First we had the 'man hands' baby, now this. When did Stephen King open a bakery?

With apologies to the Supremes (those Supremes, not SCOTUS):
"Baby, baby, where did my lunch go?"

That is a rattle and not one of those Ouija things, right?

"Oh look, he's learning his letters! K...I...L...L... Wait a minute...."

DOC alert: Let's keep the piping bags set to 'stun' from now on, shall we?

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Ah-hah, BADKarma, you have just dated yourself...to *my* era!!! I remember those shirts too! :-)

Bonus points to Haiku Joy & Sharyn, SuzieQ & many others! And Suzanne, yep, it looks *very* Jackson Pollock! Must be a very *artsy* baby shower...or very creepy...?Goth, maybe? Nahh, not enough black icing...

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Ahem.And now,a haiku:
This is so freaky,
I won't blame you if you cry,
In terror that is.

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmily E

I suppose it COULD be worse if the "decorater" had used the vampire-baby pacifier instead.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/geek-kids/newborn-infant/d704/images/3341

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Oh my -- the hand looks nauseatingly necrotic...

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterValerie

Wow. Who knew creepy baby cakes would bring out so much creativity in everyone? That is kinda creepy in itself!! I love it.

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusanB

What's in the box?!?!

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTammers

That is just disturbing. The colourful "decoration" on the rest of the cake aren't any better either

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

I used to like internet memes, but then I took an arrow to the knee.
I wonder if that meme exists in cake form, yet?

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDanS

Hmm I saw the hand first thing. . . .kinda hard not to look at it, or maybe it's just really really really hard to look intentionally at that. . is that a face? Oh okay. I was so busy avoiding it I thought I saw . . . wait what IS up with those neon eyes???

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterVicotria

@Haiku Joy: Vampire baby "squika squika squika" will haunt my dreams.

The latest meme here is Falling Bear -- since they tranked him 10 miles from here. I noticed his paw looked like Pepper Spray Cop's, suggested to a friend that they should combine the two, and then actually found a Pepper Spray Falling Bear. NOW I want to find a Pepper Spray Tiny Hand Falling Bear.

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I don't even know what to say about this one. Just a little bit strange to me. But I did get a kick out of your comentary.

May 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTerrie

Holy moley.. never before have I seen a cake that scares the living crayolas out of me but this..I can't even describe this lol. Way to go wreckerators scaring me as I am sitting in the dark right now as I type by the light of my screen..and trying not to scream.

May 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

HAA HAA!!!! Everyone needs to go watch the SNL Lawrence Welk skit, RIGHT NOW!!! Watch the hands... It makes this tiny cake hand so much funnier!!!

http://www.hulu.com/watch/73360/saturday-night-live-lawrence-welk

May 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Oh my god, it's the zombie baby from braindead (dead alive)!!!
And the background must be flying gore from lionel's lawn mowing...
Cannot be unseen...

July 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjodenstone

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>