ATTN Parents: Today's post may not be appropriate for junior cadets.
The saga of the bakeshop Wrecksurprise continues...
Captain’s Log, accidental:
Much has happened on our journey so far.
We cleared out some Cling-ons in orbit around Uranus...
...but the resulting explosion caused a gas giant to rip through the fabric of space time.
Even worse, now the engine room smells like cabbage. Ick.
We made contact with a new species on the outer reaches of the gamma quadrant. We had some initial trouble communicating...
...so I had sex with it, just to be safe.
Then I had to shoot it with a harpoon.
But I think we made some real progress there, all the same.
A transporter malfunction resulted in our first casualty:
I guess you could say he croaked. Haha!
And on a personal note, this crew has NO sense of humor during funerals. Seriously.
Bunch of killjoys, all of 'em.
Oh, and we lost another member of security:
We're not sure which one, though, since those red shirts never seem to last more than a few days.
In other news, there was a bit of a faux pas at our dinner with the Tellarian ambassador. It seems the new chef considers himself something of a practical joker:
Needless to say, the ambassador was not amused.
Anyway, long story short, we're now at war with Tellar Prime. Oopsie.
So, I guess you could say it's been an interesting week so far. Now we're on our way to Vulcan to assist with their first annual Knock-Knock Joke Competition. I can't wait to give them a hand!
"I do not understand."
"Just say 'who's there.'"
"But I already know your identity."
"Yes, but it's for the joke."
"This is a joke?"
"You better believe it, brother."
"This is illogical."
" ... "
"Very well. Who is there?"
"The Terran fruit or the pigment?"
"It doesn't matter. Either one."
"Then I choose Earth's pithy citrus."
"...You know what? NEVER MIND."
"I do not 'get it.'"