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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Hey Dad, Guess What!

Here's a fun game for Father's Day: tell dad you got him a special cake that represents your relationship together. Make a big deal out of it - maybe work up a tear or two, if you can.

Then hand him this:

...and just look at him expectantly.

Remember, if you laugh, you'll totally ruin it.


I know you're scrolling down here looking for the answer, but in all honestly I have no idea what that is. Someone told me it's a hat, but I'm just not buying it.

Speaking of which, here's another "hat" I'm not buying:

You know, if it weren't for these punny sayings I wouldn't know what half the wrecks I see are supposed to be.

Not that this label is helping me any:


It looks like one of those awareness ribbons. Is there some new Handyman cause I should know about?

"Stop Corporate Tools. Support Your Local Handyman."

Dang it, now I kind of hope that's it.

Don't even tell me if I'm wrong; I need this to be a thing.


And now, some unfortunately fishy pole action:

Talk about the catch of the day!

No, on second thought, we'd better not.

("You should have seen it, guys! It was THIS BIG.")


I think I've featured this next cupcake cake [patooie!] design every year since Cake Wrecks began, and yet STILL the bakeries keep churning it out:

Seriously. Can you tell what this is? NO YOU CANNOT. Don't even pretend. If you can tell what this is, you're probably a witch. Or you weigh the same as a duck. Or you've been turned into a newt.

Harsh? Maybe a little. But you'll get better.


You don't mind a little course humor, do you?

Although, really, all I see is a sea-sick Fail Whale.

What, you don't see it?

[pointing] A WITCH!!



Father/child hand prints are SO last year. The newest thing?

Skeleton hand prints.


(Five bucks says you just counted those "fingers.")

(You did, didn't you?)

(A-HA!! I knew it.)

(Wait, what are you doing? Where are you taking me? WHY IS THIS DUCK HERE?!)


Ashley W., Leah Q., Jen W., Matt A., Kathy J., Jessica P., & Kat J., I'm NOT a witch. I'm not. And tell John to stay out of this discussion. THAT LEFTOVER BURRITO WAS FAIR GAME. Plus I was hungry.

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Reader Comments (128)

Did you notice that on the Fail Whale Google Image search page you posted, there's actually a Fail Whale cake?? -->

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterM. Baracuda

All I can come up with for the first one is some kind of scroll. Maybe it was a diploma fail for the recent graduates that was "repurposed" for father's day?

Don't worry, Jen! Lancelot, Galahad and I will wait til nightfall and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French completely by surprise!

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermeeshybee

I'm pretty sure #6 is the number 10 (the recipient's age), only with the 0 filled in.

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Why is a dolphin with a chef's hat on his snout fishing from the back of his head with a fishing rod with two(?) lines to catch a cloud??? My head hurts now.

Also, is it just me, or does anyone else see a little smile on the golf course/whale?

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

I think the red one is supposed to be a grill. It is closed or semi-closed with the flames peaking out the side and then the wheels on the bottom with the white weird thing supposed to be the propane tank. I think I am right, even though I don't look like a newt.

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSM

Pedestal. **facepalm** It's like that candlestick that spontaneously resolves into two faces; once you see the faces, you can only see the candlestick again by an effort of will. If Will isn't around, you're stuck with the faces.

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Some one was playing "to the pain" with the cakes, we're down to "dear god WHAT is that THING!??"

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersunbean

My 90 year old mother looked at #5 (the brown and red disaster) and said--I kid you not--"why does it have 2 penises?"

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkim

I think the red one has something to do with barbeque-ing, ........ or a decapitated Santa Claus. Either way, they both scream "Happy Father's Day!!", don't you think??

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClaire C

I also vote for drum for cake #1. The drumsticks are on their way, KFC was a bit short-staffed today. And for the last cake, obviously father and child both play undead characters in World of Warcraft.

If nobody wants #5, can I have the bacon?

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLibby

Cake number 4... so-- you tried to catch a silver seahorse... with a marshmallow.

As for the (blech!) CCC in picture #5...
"A chair!
A chair!
A chair that's on fi-yur!"

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSyl B

I agree with previous posters that the first cake is a pedestal, upon which we are to place our Dads...carefully. Because they often do weigh more than a duck.

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLizzie!

I think #1 is a tire. Check out the treads.

#2 is a brown & blue basketball
#3 pliers seem plausible, but I like the awareness ribbon better
#4 that fishy thing is just too phalic
#5 red & brown wreck is the backside of a car with flames coming out
#6 fail whale or golf course, I doubt it makes a difference what you call it.
#7 Skeletor had a daddy too

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMom of Victoria

I think number one is a pregnancy test and the one with the fish is a seahorse since they give birth but the rest make me wonder what the folks were smoking when they made the cakes.

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKissamee

So I SWEAR... when I saw the first one, I immediately thought, "Ah but do you not also build bridges out of cake?"

So seeing the other references to the same scene in MPATHG was somewhat eerie.

I still think the first one is a bridge. The application of a bridge to a Father's Day cake is left as an exercise to the wrecker.

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSFisher

well, i thought it was readily apparent that the red and brown thing was the headless one-legged garden gnome of doom. Duh.

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSig

#1 is a horrible greek style pillar! - they call me the cake whisperer

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDave A

Number 2 could maybe be a dad who's dyed his hair blue and has a really bad comb-over?

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPing

My husband asked me why I was laughing. MONTY PYTHON. We are such nerds!!!

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjess k

"Horse's head in a mermaid bed." Oh, right, The Codfather. Or was it Codfather, Port 2? Maybe "sleeps with the fishes" doesn't mean what I always thought. With the right rod anything is possible.

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarkM

I have looked and looked at these until my looker was sore. I agree with some who said drum, grill, golf course, dead Flipper but what keeps running through my mind is WHY. Why, if you're going to decorate a cake, would you do it behind your back with the lights off while you juggle eggs with the free hand? And I don't know, maybe using a nozzle smaller than an empty toilet paper tube to do the decorating would help? As I said, I don't know. I'm not a wreckorator. (Probably because I only have empty toilet paper tubes and a healthy respect for people's sense of decency.) "Happy Father's Day, Dad. I love you so much I've bought you a Terminator cookie. You've been like an assassin to me. "

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLil

the last one s are clearly feet and not hands

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Perhaps the third cake is a pliers, my only explanation for it saying "handyman." Do you think the bakers even notice that their cakes are just... wrong?

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersunflower:D89

Oh No! I think Andrea's in trouble! Let's get dressed in inappropriate, skimpy clothing and 5-inch heels and go check! (Or should we wait 'til it gets really dark and scary music starts to play?) Hang on, Andrea, we're coming as quickly as we can! (If it's Theardare, scratch behind the left ear -- it's always itchy.)

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

4) The traditional " 'ouppy Foittaro Day " donkphin, in a sea where the waves say "MmmmmMMmm Mmmm Mmmm". Or possibly "wwwWWwww wwwWwww".

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergobbler

sick fail whale :

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpaint

1. a pregnancy test
2. baseball cap
4. a seahorse...since they give birth
5.a snowman who likes lettuce?
6. a happy father's day for skeletons?

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMississippi

I understand the second one. Take a ball cap and put it on the table in front of you so that the bill is facing you. Then look down at it almost directly, but still standing in front of it. Where the X meets is the little button at the top, the X's are the seams, and the bottom part is the bill.

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEleke

Number Two is a baseball cap. The brim is at the bottom. Keep looking until you see it. It didn't take long for me.

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

It's Santa (incognito, with the dark brown hair obviously) riding off into the sunset on a motorbike. With a white saddle-bag thingy on the right side.

PS: I could only "see" this while heavily medicated.

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Why would the catch of the day be a horse wearing a chef's hat?

Also, why does it say the commenter's email address is optional when it's not?

Questions, always questions.

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChakolate

I know that one is supposed to be a fishing pole and a fish, but all I can see is a drowning horse making a phone call.

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTim

*Big Smile*

Hello, all. I have some comments to make on these cakes:

1. That is a wreck.
2. That is a wreck.
3. That is a wreck.
4. That is a wreck.
5. That is a wreck.
6. That is a wreck.
7. That is a wreck.

*Big Smile*

Also, I will be hosting a reception in the bunker. We will have cookies and milk that I provided but in no way spiked with anything that Theardare may have given me. *smack!*

*Big Smile*

*wanders off aimlessly, humming a song about a particular showgirl*

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

"#4 A donkey chef flipping marshmallow pizza dough behind a painted fence"

Now, that's telling it like it is! Loved your interpretations, Shirley!

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTwinMom

Fishing pole...that's a new euphemism!

I think they may have been trying to illustrate the miracle of fatherhood in the making? (or shall we say mid-stream?)

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCorri

@Andrea: Ohhhh Noooo!!! Theardare got you too!!!! (see yesterday's post-posts.)

@Sharyn: Since it's too late for Andrea...HEEELLPP!! COME SAVE ME!!!
(and very nice parodies, as always)

@BADKarma: I snorted! My kids love Flipper reruns & they'd be scarred for life if something ever happened to Flipper! (and then my daughter would probably do someting nasty to the perpetrator...:-)

PS - Has anyone noticed how the Carrot Jockeys @ the top of the CakeWrecks homepage have turbos now? I swear it wasn't there a few days ago. Go check - each carrot has a carrot colored stream of flame behind it now!

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Just how far down into that glob of frosting on the Red Wreck would you have to cut before you hit actual "cake"? Is that what is "Special"?

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlaxmom

The first one is a blue (with red-squiggles) moon pie. While I'm sure the colors could symbolize something particularly quippy (such as a father's favorite song "Blue Moon"), I'm leaning toward the moon pie being either the dad's favorite dessert or showing his soft and squishy personality under a slightly more intimidating exterior. In essence, the CCC can completely symbolize a relationship between father and child.

LOL! I can't believe I just figured out a semi-plausible explanation for that wreck. Either Theardare found his way into my Excel files or my overly-full day of research may be going to my brain. Is there any room left in the bunker? :)

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermillbrit

Why do I feel this sudden urge to go down the creepy drafty stairs to the basement while wearing my inappropriate nightie and without letting anyone know where I'm going? And do I smell cookies?

Who's playing that organ?

Sharyn, is that you? Andrea?

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDB

Ooh, Andrea has cookies and milk. Count me in!

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

I think that last one is supposed to be Rollex logos. Maybe.

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAvis

#1 Rosebud
#2 unfinished macrame
#3 --yelling into the bunker "don't drink the milk, do not drin" (muffled screaming and rapid machine gun fire)
We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please enjoy this lovely photo of Epcot.

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

First one looks like a bridge to me. Maybe a bridge between the generations?

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKali

lol... I was just scrolling through and came to the "skeleton hands" when my 5 yr old daughter came to look over my shoulder. She looks at the picture and says "those are scary hands!" I guess if a 5 yr old can tell it's not right, it shouldn't be done....?

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterabby

#3 is definitely a pair of pliers

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPHU

Well I was guessing that the 1st wreck was a sled or a drum, but I gotta say, a pedestal or a (number) 1 is just as plausible.

If you scrunch your eyes and try real hard you can sort of see a very poorly drawn baseball cap on the 2nd -- Dad is on the bill, Hat's off to is where you might normally see a logo, and the blue lines coming together are the seams of the sections.

The 3rd -- I'm betting is a C-clamp rather than pliers but the Stop Corporate Tools idea is so much more interesting!

#4 -- I just don't want to go there...

#5 -- Maybe if you posted each year's version all together we could have a slightly better chance at guessing? Give us a shot!

#6 -- I'm so impressed that some of you saw a golf course. I couldn't make a thing out of it, but the green blob and that clumsy little red flag -- I can go along with the golf course guess.

#7 -- The father & child hands is probably more plausible, but if you stretch really hard, at least the red one kinda, sorta, resembles a "Budweiser Select" logo. I'm pretty sure my dad would have appreciated the latter rather than the former.

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBev.

Theardare got Andrea!

He got KarateLady in the previous post, but I told him there were some wrecks that needed taking out in today's post, and that distracted him. I forgot about scratching behind the ear. Oh well, all's well that ends well. I told him firmly that it's wrecks, people who think weekday cakes aren't wrecks and people who question Jen and John's patriotism / competence / caring / awesomeness. Everyone else is off limits. I guess Andrea was fair game because of a slip regarding the weekday thing, but we gotta do something!

I know -- since no one (I hope) wants to see a guy run around in 5-inch heels, I'll suggest unwise / implausible moves that keep the plot from stalling! That always works in the movies. (It also gives the girls more camera time, but I'm sure that's just coincidence -- after all, someone has to be on camera, doing something or the audience might think the movie is over.)

So let's have everyone venture down a steep, dark stairway. (The elevator and lights don't work because the first item on the Bad Guy Checklist is always, 'turn off the power'. Or maybe just 'forget to pay the bill'.) If anything unsavory awaits at the bottom of the stairs (of course it does), you can always make a quick getaway back up those same stairs, right? I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

I'll be doing unspecified important stuff someplace safe, but I'll be very concerned and supportive.

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

"A drowning horse making a phone call." @Tim just joined the LOL Club and paid the dues.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

OMG Shirley Fowley FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLindarella

I think that first one is a raft lol. Don't know why that popped into my head but it did and doesn't want to leave. The mystery one to me looks like burned hamburgers and hotdogs mashed together on a bun of unholy matrimony. Wreckerators at work again lol.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

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