On June 27th, 1859, sisters Patty & Mildred Hill wrote the most famous song everyone-hates-to-sing: the Happy Birthday song.
Then, at some point I'm too lazy to look up, someone else decided we should honor that song's birthday with a national holiday/birthday celebration. Which is way too meta for this hour of the morning. But whatever. You know the drill: sing the stupid song and you'll getcher cake. Capiche?
"I HATE this song."
(Now like you're drunk!)
Tooo joo... ooh, I think I'm gonna be sick....
(Now like you forgot the person's name!)
Happy BIIIRTHDAY dearrrr...
(Now like you're at a Japanese steakhouse!)
(That handwriting is the visual equivalent of having a metal pot placed over your head and falling down a flight of stairs, so...appropriate.)
(Now like you forgot how many verses there are!)
Wait, I think we're supposed to be done...
Do we get cake now? Oh, good. Never mind.
Thanks to Dawn S., Solange A., Parsl, Kristina, & Sandy ...And NO SINGING!