My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Summer Lovin'

So tell me, Wreckies, how are you enjoying your summer?

Sorry, I mean, "Sumer?"

Or is it "Sumeer?"

You know what, just to be safe, let's sell both versions.

And then make this one the store display, so everyone can see it:

I like to be happy, summetime.


Well, however you spell it, I hope you're taking this time to enjoy a little sun.

Or a large, red-eyed spider crawling out of your cake.


And that you're working on your tan:

Or dismembering Edward Cullen. (Hey bakers, where's the glitter?)


Of course, the only acceptable foot wear right now are flip-flops:

Emphasis on the "flops."


And every meal should end with a hefty slice of watermelon:

Preferably the seedless kind. Unless you're be expecting.

(See what I did there?)


And since these are the lazy days of summer we're talking about, you should be taking lots of breaks:

Stickin' it to the man. Or in this case, the customer.


Maybe visit the pit of despair community swimming pool?

"Watch out, kids, I'm about to throw another one down."


Or just spend a few quiet evenings walking the beach, looking for seashells and/or body parts:

Who wants ribs?


Thanks to Cassie, Brian B., Molly S., Jill V., Tina, Jaemie G., Lindsay W., Elizabeth & AnneMarie, & Anony M. for the disarming finds.

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Reader Comments (75)

Arg! I read the headline and then "happened so fast" popped into my head! Now I've got that song stuck in my head.... :(

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeff

Okay, so the 1st cookie was baked to honour the ancient city of Sumer. I can see that, and the second one was especially for a little Asian kid named Sumeer.. But, by the time we get down to #6 with the blue SPF 90 sunscreen, it's becoming a bit unappetizing. How the heck do you wear #7? The "thongs" are backwards in the flops.
Then there's #8 with giant leeches swimming in the WATERmelon. #9 obviously came from Colorado; one tree left standing.
#10; did someone put that special chemical in the pool that colours up when you pee in the pool?
#11, I think the sea gulls got to her before anything else. (They don't call the "Sh*t-hawks" for nothing)

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

"Emphasis on the flops." hahahahah!

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle S.

Completely lost my composure at the pit of despair (and alarmed a coworker who had just walked up to ask me a question). But the torso immediately beneath is very well executed, in design if not in the theory of 'who wants to eat a friggin torso??'

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Obviously, the green from all the other trees has been burnt off by that ginormous sun.

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJasini

I got a huge kick out of the abs cake. I used to have a student who would draw the exact same thing on his class notes and name the abs. He got up to 12-packs. With that consideration, I'm incredibly disappointed in the cakewrecker who only managed a 4 1/2 pack

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWell Hello there

Sung to Gershwin’s “Summertime”

and the spellin’ ain’t easy
Sumeer’s fine
Really, either looks good.

Summe’s rich
‘Cept for magna cum laudes
So hush, little whiner
Spider cakes are fine

One of these mornings
You might try some spray tanning
Then you’ll don your thongs
You’ve got sperm cake to buy

But until that morning
I don’t mean to alarm you
But choc-o-late Pac-Man’s eating up the sky

Swimmin’ time
And I’m feelin’ quite queasy
Carrot Jockeys
In a toxic blue slime

Maybe once you’re rich
You can buy the whole body
‘til then, I think maybe
Half a girl’s just fine

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Never has a "White Cake" sticker been SO appropriate!

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen @ Cup a Dee Cakes

Maybe that last one was found on Amity Beach?

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeanette

Are those pineapple slices in the pit of dispair/swimming pool? Or donuts? Either way, visiting this web site on a daily basis is actually helping me stay on my diet. I seem to lose my appetite for some reason.

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRamey

Why are they using chocolate icing
for the sand? If I ever went to the beach
& the sand was the color of poo I'd be on
the first plane home.

I had to stare at the Edward Cullen torso
for a minute to realize what it was. I think
they took the white cake sticker a little to
seriously. Maybe the stores chain the
bakers inside so that they've never actually
experienced summer & just have to guess
what it's like

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAna

Sumer is icumen in; bakers go cuckoo.

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

A nice bit of medieval content: "Sumer is icumen in" :

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDeborahJ

My 11 year old son walked in while I was viewing the "watermelon" cake and said "are those guppies?" Out of the mouths of babes!

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCustom Caker

Oh, dear. Somebody nuked the Sumerians. I don't remember reading about that in the history books.

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBB, Miami

Is that first one Bikini Atoll?

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKJill

What happens when you add up the personal moments of summer? You sum me-time.

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Sweet mother of Moses. Emergency Education needed, Aisle One.

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

That sun cake just screams to me "Black hole sun...." (I mean it's black, it's a "sun", and it's being sucked into the center of the cake...) I do believe that's the perfect pun!

Aside from that, it's a pretty solid list of wrecked cakes and puns haha.

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

The next Cakewrecks book must be a collection of posts alongside Sharyn's wonderful song parodies. Am I right?

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLindaS

@LindaS I would so buy that book-Sharyn is hysterical bwahahaha. Those make me exclaim "Oh the Humanity"<D: D: D: D:

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I hate Sumertime,it's too hoot and hummidd.

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCB

That last one looks like something out of a bad movie about a serial killer's victim who washed up on the beach, headless, legless, and armless. I can just see the handsome police detective called to the scene with his sidekick. "This is the work of the cake dissector, Sumeer. You can tell by the fact that he used a cake knife to remove the head and limbs. And the smoothness of the fondant. I can tell it's going to be a bad sumer.

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBeesMom

Was anyone else bothered by the boobs on the last one?

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I noticed the bikini torso cake has a sign next to it reading "Congrats Jessica." What are they congratulating her for? Her liposuction? Her belly button piercing? Her boob job?

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusanna K.

Sumer is icumen in,
Lhude sing cuccu!

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

Breaking news..... The National Institue of Health has just reported that watermelon has replaced toilet seats as the number one cause of accidental pregnancies.....

also...I love the swimming pool!! to paraphrase the can stop swimming anytime, but you can never leave.....

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

That last one would be appropriate for a "Jaws"-themed party. But, really. "Sumer"?? "Sumeer"?? What is WRONG with people???

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Susanna K., I'm glad I'm not the only one left wondering the same thing. I have to admit, though, that since we usually see cakes in the shape of female headless torsos as pregnant, my first thought was to wonder if we were congratulating Jessica on getting her post-baby body back (with or without the help of going under the knife... pun intended!).

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-with-an-e

That last cookie cake looks almost entirely unlike that weird level in the 2nd world of Super Mario Bros 3. The one where the sun chases you and you have to dodge a tornado.

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

I kind of like that swimming pool one. if only they hadn't filled it with blue icing and umbrellas, they oculd sell ti as "ancient ruins."
it kind of reminds me of the Western Wall in Jerusalem.

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCitrine

1. I had a star-struck moment when Jen replied to my tweet yesterday (lizardisanerd)

2. I'm pretty sure the "life preservers" in the carrot jockey swim to the death cake are those gummy peach rings.

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDread Pirate Robyn

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLet Them Eat Cake

I hear Sumer is lovely at this time of year.

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren S.

CB, LOL! You kill me.

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdoodlebug

I now have "Black Hole Sun" running through my head. Thanks, wreckerator!

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Simply incredible that the same bakery created the multiple spellings of summer. Thanks for the hilarious post!

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersdreader

Dora, Elmo and chick flotsam pieces (or are those candies?) on the sumertime "theme" cookie with the palm tree and toothpaste-like "waves"---HUH?

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterhuskymom

Mindy1 & LindaS: it has to have the SUPER GEEK parody she wrote for Jen on Epbot last Sat. too. EPIC.

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbr@tc@t

The little plastic babies never get old, huh?

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJuly

Awesome that a couple of other people picked upon the Middle English lyric in the first cake! Sumer is icumen in, lude sing cuckoo...

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMe

More breaking news...this just in...Planned Parenthood has announced that it will begin distributing seedless watermelons....

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

Ok, the pit of despair.... shaking my head and laughing hysterically. But then comes the torso, complete with the added belly-button ring touch. Being from Canada, all I can think of seeing cakes like that one are visions of Luka Magnotta.... yuck!

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoy

Her navel ring will provide an important clue for the CSI team that shows up to investigate.

I guess she couldn't...
*puts on sunglasses*
...stomach the heat.


July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

I made that swimming pool cake for my daughter's birthday years ago. It was fun, and turned out really well, if I do say so myself. Much nicer than the Pit Of Despair. And I'm definitely not a professional baker!

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCaitlin

Aw man, here I think I'm being all clever and about to post a "Sumer is icumen in" comment, and I see two people have beaten me to it. BUT, I can tie it in to "Flight of Dragons", which must get me some geek points (it's the song Sir Orrin sings when the sand merks attack). :-D

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterViolaNut

I looked long and hard at those 'flip flops', but all I could see were two squished easter peeps who have chicken pox and are covering their eyes in shame....OH, it must be Illness Awareness Day at the CDC- Peeps with Pox! :D

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

The pit of despair *cough* *hack* kills me. I just wanna know- where's the ladder? How can those naked babies get out? Are they just doomed to float forever?

And then I got to thinking... this reminds me of when I used to play Sims on pc. I liked to put the Sims in a swimming pool with no ladder, speed up time and watch them swim around all while getting mad at me, cursing at me in Sim language because they were tired... only to watch them die.

I'm really not morbid in real life. Promise.

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Darn... Classic Steve beat me to the Middle English madrigal reference.
Well played.

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSyl B

"Summetime, and the living is easy. Spelling's optional and the cake wrecker's high."

Also, maybe the scary sun cake is a Soundgarden tribute? (Black Hole Sun...)

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRobi

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