My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Summer Lovin'

So tell me, Wreckies, how are you enjoying your summer?

Sorry, I mean, "Sumer?"

Or is it "Sumeer?"

You know what, just to be safe, let's sell both versions.

And then make this one the store display, so everyone can see it:

I like to be happy, summetime.


Well, however you spell it, I hope you're taking this time to enjoy a little sun.

Or a large, red-eyed spider crawling out of your cake.


And that you're working on your tan:

Or dismembering Edward Cullen. (Hey bakers, where's the glitter?)


Of course, the only acceptable foot wear right now are flip-flops:

Emphasis on the "flops."


And every meal should end with a hefty slice of watermelon:

Preferably the seedless kind. Unless you're be expecting.

(See what I did there?)


And since these are the lazy days of summer we're talking about, you should be taking lots of breaks:

Stickin' it to the man. Or in this case, the customer.


Maybe visit the pit of despair community swimming pool?

"Watch out, kids, I'm about to throw another one down."


Or just spend a few quiet evenings walking the beach, looking for seashells and/or body parts:

Who wants ribs?


Thanks to Cassie, Brian B., Molly S., Jill V., Tina, Jaemie G., Lindsay W., Elizabeth & AnneMarie, & Anony M. for the disarming finds.

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Reader Comments (75)

Snerk!! Mel you are the man! High-lar-e-us!!!!

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

"Sumer" appears in imminent danger of nuclear annihilation!

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrobin

I, too, thought the first one was about the ancient Mesopotamian nation. That doesn’t explain why there seems to be a giant mushroom cloud looming over the land.

Was “Summertime Loving, Loving in the Summer (Time)” playing through anyone else’s head through the duration of this post?

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMike

@mindy1 and @LindaS -- Thanks, you guys are very kind, but (whispering) we don't use the "B" word here anymore, since the last b**k/tour exhausted the Cakey-Goddess-of-Most-High-Snark-and-Random-Sprinkles to the point she almost killed the blog. I need my six days a week of Cake Wrecks (I may make a steampunk straitjacket to help with the Saturday slump... You know, a steampunk straitjacket would be cool...)

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

1-3. The private island of Dr. Seuss. He named it Sumer. The residents are called the Sumeer, however, the only inhabitants are lady bugs and butterflies.

4. *singing* "One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn't belong--Wait." *tilts head* *continues singing* "None of these things is like any other, none of these things, they just don't belong!"

5. What light through yonder window breaks? It is the Sun Cake and Juliet has shriveled and burnt from it's heat! Woe! Woe!

6. This torso cake pales in comparison to all other torso cakes!

7. Peeps with purple freckles.

8. That is the lowest priced IVF I've ever seen! You may be on to something there.

9. Sunlight is to a tree as:
a. salt is to a slug
b. a tree is to poop
c. poop is to yummy
d. Blue

10. Coming this summer...The Pool - FROM HELL! You can go in, but you can't get out! No, really. You can't get out because there are no stairs! HAHAHAHA! (Straight to DVD release, void where prohibited, actual size may vary, not responsible for lost or stolen brain cells).

11. @Susanna K.: Congrats on your first dismemberment, Jessica!

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

"pit of despair" yeah right! more like "This IS Sparta!" lol

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNefarious.

The watermelon one made me think of the leech scene from Stand By Me. *shivers*

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJasry

Wendy deserves bonus points for the "CSI: Miami" spit-take she just caused me to have. And "Black Hole Sun" is STILL running through my head...

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

OK, thanks Jen, I didn't thiink this was going to be that funny, til I read ..."throw another one down",,, and spit sprayed my computer screen!

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisa

Sumer lovin, had me a blast
Sumeer lovin, that cake had me aghast
I met a girl, armless and free,
I met a boy, pale as could be.

Suumer wrecks, flopping away, to uh-oh those summeer nights

Sell me more, sell me more
There's a dungeon pool
Sell me more, sell me more
There's spider drool

Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh

Dora and Elmos heads are askance,
Watermelon sperm doing a dance
These wrecks are bad, want to unsee
Just a stick, not even a tree.

Summere sun, use your nuclear rays
To blast these wrecks away

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJack Wire

There's a tentacled blot on the sun today
(Ba'al, god of Sumer)
Dropped the kids off at the pool, hooray
(Finally moved some here)
There's some white abs laying out to bake
(Sunscreen, gimme sumeer)
Too bad the supernova's dried the lake
(happy summit time here)

Little guy screaming, "il n'y a pas de pain" *
Here's a chill pill 'cuz we ain't done playin'
Soon the wine flows and beads you'll shake
For it's my destiny to be King Cake ...

ok. Break's over. Back to work.
* French class was over 20 years ago so pardon me if I got that wrong **

** Kept thinking Gandalf in some half-baked notion, but unlike Gandalf, inspiration was a-rising

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

My brain still fails to comprehend the "I LIKE EATING BODY PARTS," but I'm totally in love with the headless Edward Cullen cake. Where's the stake?! D:

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternikki

#1 Since the madrigal reference has already been taken... The ancient city of Sumer. Chief export: giant mushrooms.

#3 Couldn't they have included the correct spelling, just to cover all the bases?

#4 doesn't look like it has seen the inside of an oven. But in order for it to be standing like that, it would either have to be frozen or really old. I'll pass.

#5 'Sun cake', indeed. I know perfectly well there's a TP roll in there.

#6 It's very minimalist, very high concept. As in, one would have to be very high to come up with this concept.

#7 I don't think I'd care to see the person who can wear those. Reminds me of the famous question, "What would chairs look like if our knees bent the other way?"

#8 Awww. Looks like the wreckorator's got one in the oven.

#9 "That cookie I was decorating. Where did it go?" "I put it on display -- I thought you were done with it." "Not quite -- whatever."

#10 Given what community pools are (in)famous for, it is appropriate that the water be Tidy Bowl blue. If the walls are angel food cake, as they appear, this could be something semi-homemade.

#11 Congrats, Jessica, on making it to the beach. This looks like the aftermath of one of those 'mad slasher' movies we've been parodying of late.

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Read to the tune of nursery rhyme "This is the house that Jack built"

These are the sumer skies

This is the sun red eyes
that shown on the sumer skies

These are the pants not long
that viewed the sun red eyes
that shown on the sumer skies

This is the sandals thong
that matched the pants not long
that viewed the sun red eyes
that shown on the sumer skies

This is the pink fruit
that squashed the sandals thong
that matched the pants not long
that viewed the sun red eyes
that shown on the sumer skies

This is the valley chute
that grew the pink fruit
that squashed the sandals thong
that matched the pants not long
that viewed the sun red eyes
that shown on the sumer skies

This is the pit teeny
that overshadowed the valley chute
that grew the pink fruit
that squashed the sandals thong
that matched the pants not long
that viewed the sun red eyes
that shown on the sumer skies

This is the torso bikini
that swam in the pit teeny
that overshadowed the valley chute
that grew the pink fruit
that squashed the sandals thong
that matched the pants not long
that viewed the sun red eyes
that shown on the sumer skies

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterC.W.

"congrats Jessica".....on your dismemberment?

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFsurica

RE: Cake #1
While in Sumer, enjoy our local delicacy, turtle-on-a-stick!

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Well that evil spider cake has me wanting to grab a fly swatter and chase that wreckerator around the shop for awhile lol. I hate spiders. Poor headless Edward..still can't get a tan. Ah well. Maybe he and bikini lady were partially eaten by sharks. Can't say as I would go near those first three especially the tree surrounded by poo..eek.

July 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

What is that last one a congratulations cake FOR? "CONGRATS ON YOUR IMPLANTS AND PIERCING!" ?

July 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Man, they cc'd EVERYBODY on that fourth one.

July 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

I always giggle at all the Princess Bride references!! They're so subtle.. What a great movie

July 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

ummm. . . i don't know if anyone's thought of this, but maybe the "Sumer" cake is just for people who really like ancient Middle Eastern civilizations?

July 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatherine

Obviously, the babies ride their carrots in to the swimming pool, which promptly sink. They can go get them later when they want out. Any baby that can fly around on a carrot can swim to the bottom of the dungeon pool.

July 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterScott

I've got one thing to say about that store display cookie that says "Summetime" instead of Sumer or Sumeer:

C-C-C-Combo breaker! Those waves look like C's

July 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBrian

I thought the sun cake was something dedicated to the woes of skin cancer.

July 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKayce

I was already laughing over the cakes, but my 6 year old made me laugh harder, because she couldn't figure out why there was a spider on the cake!

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJessi

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