My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

"Ham" Or "Pig Intestines?"

 Do you like

green, eggs and ham?

I do not like them,

Baker, ma'am.

I do not like

green, eggs and ham.


Would you like them 

at your wedding?

Would you like them 

in that setting?

I would not like them

at my wedding.

I would not like them

in that setting.

I do not like them,

Baker, ma'am.

I do not like

green, eggs and ham!

Would you like ham thinly sliced?

Would you like eggs nicely iced?

I would not like ham thinly sliced

I would not like eggs nicely iced.

Seriously, lady.




Thanks to Tracy C. for inspiring me to lay off ham sandwiches for a while. (But never deviled eggs. Why can't I quit you, you eggy devils, you?!)

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Reader Comments (71)

Looks like the pictures I've seen of MSP (mechanically separated poultry).

August 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

This is what happens when the Corporate Office believes that it is beneficial to cross train employees. In this case swapping the bakery staff with the meat counter staff.

August 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

Google Smorgastarta. I think that may be what's going on here...

August 14, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermeggan

KIM: There's a reason I'm a vegetarian.

August 14, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdoodlebug

it is one thing to wreck a cake but a whole 'nother kettle o' pig intestines to wreck my childhood
(sobbing) NO.MORE.SEUSS.WRECKING!! for the love childhoods' past

@Gail the thing on top appears to be a conch shell. no, I don't know why.

@mel you swine! (great pun)

@Jaimz now you can tell brides that draping CAN be done in buttercream but it looks like pig intestines. that ought to settle it once and for all :D

August 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Ham?? Not ham but intestines. Oh how do these go sooooo wrong; so often?

August 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

This reminds me of that Heston Blumenthal thing where Heston was trying to recreate a Roman feast and he filled a whole pig with sausages that were supposed to look like intestines... Ah, those wacky Romans!

August 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrumpyGhostOwl

Oh well thanks I think I just barfed a little.

August 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

Gag.. ugh that looks seriously scary lol. I honestly hope that wasn't someones wedding cake. I would seriously change my name and move if I were that wreckerator especially if it is a wedding cake. I also now want to eat some eggs..thanks lol.

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

This was my submission, hurray I am famous. A little background, this cake, and two other beauties were in a window display next to a very busy sidewalk in Rome, Italy at a professional bakery. My dreams came true stumbling across a cake wreck!

August 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPapayabean

I think it is supposed to be a calla lily cake. And the "intestines" are supposed to be draped fabric? I think I'm being too nice!

August 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKait

This reminds me of the pink goo from Ghostbusters 2. Do you think the cake will dance with a little music and happy thoughts?

August 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAl

When I looked at this photo, my first thought was that a Dr Who alien had climbed on the cake!
Shows that I'm watching far more Dr Who than reading Dr Seuss. :-)

August 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNess

The first thing that came to mind was: "Dear God, what is that thing?"

August 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterOhio Jenn

Thank you. I will be showing this to any future students who aren't happy with their first attempt at cala lillies. Literally none of them have ever made any as bad as this. Ever.

August 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Pink slime.

August 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSteve

This is what happens when the butcher, baker and candle stick maker get bored and decide to collaborate. Either that or the butcher and baker killed the candle stick maker and those are his intestines on the cake. It's a tough call...

August 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie Anne

ikwig, Thank you so much for clearing that up. RAINBOWS! Are you serious! Someone must be completely color blind. Not just, reds look green or brown, but NO color at all, except maybe yellow. They got that right. Even now that I know what they were 'supposed' to be, NO WAY! NU-UH, NO HOW! NEGATORY! just NO!

March 13, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkim

@essjaytee - Yes it does! Green is now the 1st item on the list instead of being an adjective describing the color of the eggs & ham. Now it says she does not like green OR eggs OR ham. And you may notice that the 'eggs' and 'ham' (i.e. intestine-y things) are *not* green, hence the *slight* alteration of this familiar rhyme to accomodate the Wreck displayed below.

Although, I happen to know (as most Cake Wreck & Epbot readers do) that Jen LIKES GREEN! After all, she painted her toenails green at least once cuz she blogged about it!!! :-) But it would *totally* ruin the rhyme & story if the word 'green' was removed. So there.

PS Quit raggin' on her Most Supreme Snarky Highness, already! Shoo! (grabs nunchuks & throwing stars...Hiiii-YAH!!!)

March 13, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

I mean, I GET that it's SUPPOSED to be drapery, something akin to this cake from Cakes by Erika, but....

Apparently there are just a lot of wedding cake bakers out there who A) don't know how to use most of the cake-making materials or tools and B) don't want to know. :P

July 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGG

Nice poem!

On the other hand, what is that... that.... THING-CAKE.

Pink rainbows, intestines, lilies, egg-flowers...


November 10, 2013 | Unregistered Commenter-Unknown-

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