My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The REAL King Cake [Replay]

In honor of his birthday, I'd like to do an Elvis post today. However, I realize many of our younger readers may not be familiar with The King. So listen up, whipper snappers! Picture an older, more talented, better looking, Southern Justin Bieber wearing a white, bedazzled jumpsuit.


Also, he may or may not be dead.


Maybe don't picture that part.


Right. All together now? Then let's get started!


This is Elvis:

Rawr! Ffft ffft...


This... not Elvis.  I'm thinking either Ray Liotta or Wayne Newton.



Not Elvis:

John claims this looks like Jimmy Durante. It's like I don't even know who he is anymore. (John, I mean. Jimmy I had to wiki.)





I'm going with Liza Minelli.



Oh! Wait! I know this one!

The Brawny paper towel guy!


And finally, Elvis:


Queen Amidala. Or maybe one of the guys from Menudo. (Thanks, John!)

No, no, I'm staying with Amidala.


Thanks to Paula H., Diana C., Connie B., and Chrissy K. who are all, collectively, nuthin' but hound dogs. And oh! The crying! ALL the TIME! Enough, already!

Ah thank you. Thankyouverramuuuch.


Update from john: The Munsters! The last one looks like the kid from The Munsters! I knew it was something with an "M" from my childhood.

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Reader Comments (88)

Totally Eddie Munster, or possibly Paul Ryan...

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Andrea, are you by chance having pain in the diodes down your left side? Just wondering.

It's a good thing I use a touchpad instead of a mouse, because of all the scrolling back and forth as I verified read the comments.

I am frankly surprised that not one of these cakes features little guys in pointy hats. Wait for it...

Not Elvis #1: Data, as an Elvis impersonator. Why does he have a scarf?

NE 2: Durante seems as reasonable an explanation as any. I hope that's edible ink...a-dinka-dink, a-dinka-dink, a-dinka-doo...

NE3: Picasso imagines Jay Leno as Elvis.

NE4: Brawny guy, with Tom Jones' hair. Or perhaps Maynard Ferguson in the early years (trumpet playing being the other route to a 24-inch neck). I have no explanation for the doughnuts / waffles / decorated bagels, though waffles with chocolate sauce needs to be a 'thing'. Now. KarateLady, Brawny guy is a generic lumberjack. But he's ok. He works all night and he sleeps all day. Or something like that.

NE5 I totally thought Eddie, alias 'Butch Patrick', before scrolling down to see John's update or perusing the nascent Epcot.

If you'll excuse me, Theardare has finished his nice piece of fish, so I must sing to him. I believe it has started to rain again...

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Cake #2 is Alan Rickman, aka Professor Snape. The only way they could get people to eat that cake was to put it in between the potato salad and a decroded lasagne. Bon Appetit!

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaxmom

REAL The King cake would have a plastic blue suede shoe in the middle, so that whoever finds the shoe is obligated to do the Jailhouse Rock and pay for everyone's stay in the Heartbreak Hotel. Just sayin'.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCelidah

I think the last one is Igor from Young Frankenstein with that giant hump on his left shoulder ...

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterApril Fool

Is no one else worried about the coral snake sunk into the neck of #1?

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

@jackwire ~ That was awesome :)

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

#2 is the spitting image of Jeff Goldblum!

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

@Celidah-I am so doing that next year!!

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

The first cake pic kinda looks like Jet Li 2 me.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaggie

#4 is much more Andrew Dice Clay than the Brawny paper towel guy.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle

@Craig - Andrea has diodes on the side of her neck?! Is she your pre-Thea(rdare) test subject?! Did she sign a waiver first?! Do you have *any* idea just how many research mandates you're violating if you don't get a signed waiver from your human test subject BEFORE the surgery?! What did you do, tell her it was free plastic surgery & she'd look 19 again?! And why wasn't I invited to assist?! Bioengineering requires a *through* knowledge of anatomy & physiology as well as your standard engineering training. I *hope* you know what you're doing, Craig!

PS Re: Brawny guy/lumberjack - so he dresses up in women's clothing just like his dear PawPaw?

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Update: The miracle of click-to-enlarge having revealed that those are waffles on #4, I recalled reading something about Elvis and waffles. Minutes of research yielded the 'Elvis waffle', which I am not making up: Waffles, usually whole wheat, with sliced banana, peanut butter and...Bacon! There seems to be drizzled chocolate frosting in this iteration, which could work.

Elvis knew. Who but 'the King' could have had the foresight to raise ordinary waffles to new heights of awesomeness with bacon. I certainly hope he's enjoying his suite in Area 51.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

The last one looked like Jerry Lewis to me.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

Long time reader, first time poster.

This post really gets my temperature rising. :) Too bad the likenesses are all half-baked (rim shoot).

Perhaps a courtesy warning for our friends in Utah is in order. Today's post is full of hunks and hunks of burning wreckage.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTana

I dunno.... more of them looked like Psy than Elvis!

Oppa Presley Style!

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLo

KarateLady, it wasn't me!

Theardare became the Keymaster and started controlling bunker access. All I did was use an infinite improbability generator to get in the bunker (see yesterday's post). I guess I got careless with the programming. The next thing I knew, Andrea had negotiated with Theardare to get a door that anyone who knows the password can use, after which she went into a bit of a decline. Soon after that, the bunker turned into a resort of sorts, with a Ancient Egyptian-themed Theardare shrine in the new atrium, which also houses the DOC Hall of Fame for outstanding grammar and punctuation. I just received word that there is also a beer garden / gym.

This comment board is going to need a guide in short order; I can see this. There has to be a relatively concise way of bringing new people up to speed: "This whole alternate universe sprang from conversation between two former house painters, who started this blog, you see, that attracted like-minded geeks of all sorts like refugees from reality. A sort of symbiosis developed, resulting in the literary equivalent of 'Porky in Wackyland'."

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I think it's funny that when you google "menudo" (no idea who they are, by the way), you get pictures of a group or a meaty main dish... I wonder which came first.

Oh and thanks for the laughs.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah S.

The third one makes me think of people I have met who are mouth cancer survivors!

I think the last one looks a bit like Psy. Well, at least it's some singer. Those darn kids with their rock-and-roll music all sounds the same anyway.

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Lol..oh man Elvis if he was alive, should go in those bakeries scare the wreckerators into making a decent image of him then leave the building lol.

January 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

The last one looks more like a Korean Popstar than someone from Menudo.

January 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAddy DelaMorte

Great, now I have the lumberjack song stuck in my head. Thanks a lot Craig.
@KarateLady ~ You're just a little bit scary. Incredibly awesome for sure! But a little scary...

January 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

Oops. I meant a *thorough* knowledge of anatomy & physiology...

PS And fix that silly tea-making computer while you're at it! The tea is *so* tepid & tasteless, it's just a vapid brown liquid with no redeeming qualities whatsoever...

January 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

@mindy1 yes, I am a fan of the first Men in Black and this post reminds me of my favorite scene. We can just pretend that the second movie never happened though.

January 9, 2013 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

The first one looks like Neville From the Harry Potter movies! LOL

January 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCrzy911dsptchr

i think the last one looked like eddie munster

January 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJacki

@Jodee in WA - Hey, I've been scaring the guys for *years*. See, in college, you listed your career goal on your dorm door. I joked that I wanted to "genetically engineer the perfect man: one who works, cooks, & cleans everything." I once overheard a group of guys going down the hallway & reading the signs. When they got to mine, one said "Don't date this one!" (Scaredy cats!) Even better, I never had to engineer a perfect man - I found him! Now my goal is cloning. Why mess with perfection and why deprive other women? I figure as long as I have the original... :-) (Of course, Jen has no need for a clone, what with John(thoj) around... ;-)

January 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

PS Craig, I *did* read yesterday's post. I commandeered the gym for karate & self-defense classes. After all, some of these places are starting to throw us Wreckporters out!

It still doesn't explain Andrea's diodes, nor does it explain who's the GateKeeper. And I thought perhaps you'd read about my failed genetic engineering attempt & took my bioengineering suggestion to heart, or rather, to *Andrea*. I just hope she was a willing participant in all this. And forgive my ignorance, but I can't figure DOC for the life of me. Dept of Cakes?! Sounds too simple...(& I know quite a few NASA acronyms, trust me...)

January 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Unlike another song listed here, which has also made me cry in public, I have never been embarrassed when Elvis croons "Love Me Tender." (deep, sad sigh)

Can I just say I have long considered CW my "happy place" but today it has reached the level of pure paradise. The original post is awesome and the comments meandered from the Brawny guy to Monty Python's Lumberjack Song (which then leads me to the Parrot sketch and, yes, I do both sides by changing brains) and brains the size of planets (which are offset by pain in the diodes on the left side). Now, if only that damn nutrimatic could make something exactly like tea (and Earl Gray at that- you can't leave TNG out of this mashup!).

P.S. the first confection (which doesn't appear to be deep fried) made me think of an alien due to the shape of the head and that brought me to MIB like mindy1.

January 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

I thought #3 has the look of Paul Macartney after some kind of accident involving his right jaw..........
Agree with others that #4 jumps out as Tom Jones, and the last one reminds me of an anime Samurai.....

January 9, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercolleenoz

I'm thinking Don Knotts on the 2nd one. #4 looks like a sad attempt at Johnny Cash.

January 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I was thinkin' the first reminds me of John Travolta!

January 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStacy

I can't stop looking at cake #2. The artwork reminds me of the original Aeon Flux cartoons. I guess between Young Elvis and Fat Elvis, he went through a Trevor Goodchild Elvis phase.

January 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

#2 is definitely Don Knotts. Why are there not more who agree with this? I think it's an Incredible Mr. Limpet party.

January 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJen M

Eddie Munster with a hump! LOL!

January 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKatie W.

Thanks for the *swoon* worthy photos (of Elvis, not the scary cakes!) :)

January 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNancie

Second to last (aka Brawny Man) is absolutely Gaston from Beauty & the Beast.

February 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

The third one might be Elvis--a geriatric Elvis who's lost all his teeth.

February 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

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