My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

It's All Geek To Me

OK, I'll admit it. My family's a teensy bit tired of all my geeky quotes — and puns.

Look, I can't help it. They're all lurking in my head, just waiting to pop out.

But you're not tired of them, right?

Great! Then,

Shall we play a game?

Let's see how geeky we can make some otherwise not-geeky cakes.


(BTW, if you didn't get that reference, stop reading right now and go watch Firefly. Wait, read the rest of the post, then go watch Firefly. All of it. Now.)


Some people might freak out when they see their angel cookie looking more like a Killer Klown.

Don't Panic!

You can always cover it with a towel.

But, to be safe, don't blink! Don't. Even. Blink.

(I know I'm not going to blink at all during tomorrow's Dr. Who special. Allons-y!)


So, anyway...

I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.


Why? Because you KNOW the end result:

Dogs and cats, living together. Mass hysteria!


Maybe I'm overreacting.

We should be able to get through a little betrothment cake without too much trouble, right?

C'mon, baker, make it so!

What? You thought I'd say "Engage?"

Nah, I was thinking more along the lines of one ring to rile them all.


Even I wasn't expecting the next cake.

Nobody expects such Spanish imprecision.


Now, I'll admit this last one isn't a cake, but it is a baked good, and I had to:

Wait for it...

She's bread, Jim.

Actually, I'm also seeing chocolate syrup and poppy seeds — although I'm not sure we're letting you see them.

I guess she's only mostly bread.

She's been mostly bread all day.


I hope you enjoyed this geeky little side trip. If not:



A long, long time ago, in some bakeries far, far away, Meredith B., Sarah C., Amy V., Gabby R., Erin B., Carrie H., Lea S. and Stefanie surreptitiously slipped out their cameras and took these pictures, sharing cakes, their final affront, here. We salute you!

« Sunday Sweets: WHO LOVES YA?! | Main | Turkey Countdown »

Reader Comments (85)

How does one even make that shiny Happy Birthday mess? Did an earthquake hit while they were writing it and the wreckerator just powered through hoping it would come out all right? O.o

I'm also very confused at the "Ready to let the dog out?" cake. What occasion could call for such a cake?

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

Personally, I like tea. Earl Grey. Hot. With my wrecks, but H.A.L. never makes it for me. (Would this be a mixed geekaphor?)

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

One geek to another, I like your geekiness. :) I just wish I could've seen Nurse Stein's face when she read that....

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJuls

Shiny.....I get it.....Gorram! That was good!

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTom

*Beavis and Butthead voice* heh heh heh heh Cuntleamos....they said Cuntleamos heh heh heh heh

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCW

So much shine on cake
Icing message has slipped off.
Shiny, shiny cake.

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Bravo my friend!
But what exactly are they trying to say about NurDE Stein and should we really celebrate that with a cookie?
Nearly Bread lady is scaring me o.O

Have a great day CW family! I'm on the road to see my girl and visit my moms grave for the first time in 6 months. Wish me luck! We have a 9 hour drive with 2 dogs today!

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

1. No
2. No
3. No
4. No
5. No
6. No.
7. No.
8. NO!!!!! (Besides, she might be "Bread", but to be out in public looking like a common tramp, she's not "well-bread"...)

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

1. We'll never get tired of your geeky quotes and or puns.
2. I believe with all my heart that cuntleanos should be an annual event or holiday or something. I think I'll start one of those White House petitions.
3.Thank you for sparing us the chocolate syrup and poppy seeds. Really. Thank you.

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Geek on, my friend, geek on. Never apologize!

We are also anxiously awaiting the Doctor Who special tomorrow! My daughter has worn a different Doctor Who t-shirt to school each day this week (and that's not even half her stash, thanks to teefury), and her letter jacket has "Allons-y" stitched in the tail under her name on the back.

One more thing--Firefly! Always Firefly.

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterblissteach

Sharyn- In case I didn't already love the workings of your mind (I did, but just in case) this post has confirmed my undying affection for your geeky brain for all eternity.

@Jodee- Best of luck!

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

I bite - what is a cuntleamos? Even the Google doesn't know. But, they wrote it twice to make sure that we got it. Does it have anything to do with the oddly shaped "t" in Birthday? Is it something you get when you're expecting - I've had four children, but don't remember the cuntleamos.

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

the people who have written the titles have just been sacked. they have been replaced and great expense by a Norwegian company and their LLamas.

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJamie Jo

Bummer. The only references I was familiar with was cats & dogs living together and Lord of the Rings. :-(

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

*Bows before the greatness that is Jen*

You are marvelous and amazing and I love you with all my little geeky heart! This is the greatest thing I've read in days!

Thank you for making my week, and GEEK ON!

[Note From Editor: Actually, today you should bow before the greatness that is Sharyn. But Jen will take a complimentary grovel ANY time. ;)]

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNyghtbeauty

"Hello Bakers! Who bakes the cake, bakes for the world! But bad news everyone 'cause guess who?! Except you lot, 'cause you're all using the mixers, it's really very distracting, so could you all just stay still a minute because, I AM TALKING!

Now the question of the hour is, "Who baked this cake?" Answer: "You did." Next question: "Why did you do such a bad job?!" Come on! Look at you! No plan! No backup frosting! No pipers worth a damn, oh, and something else you don't have, brains! So, you're sitting there with your silly little mixer, with all your silly little pipers, and you've got any plans on making a good cake, just remember what's standing in your way! Remember every black day that you ever made a bad cake, and then, AND THEN, do the smart thing!

Let another baker try first.

-Imaginary Whovian boss adressing his employees."

Posted this a few months back, and felt it was relevant here. :-)

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBella

Is it wrong to be proud of myself for getting ALL of the references? *dances in the sun*

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

Oh, no, I never tire of your clever use of nerdy quots. I recognized every one and LOVE them. I, too, have them stuck in my head and occassionally will slip one or two in a conversation just to see if anyone else is like-minded. Your geekiness is awesome. Did you hear about the upcoming Monte Python reunion? Ni! Ni! Ni!

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSandy C in SoFla

Did anyone else read "Shall we play a game?" in the War Games computer voice? Or was that just me....

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKris10

Hahahahaha!!! Geek on, girl. Geek on.
Thank you for bringng so many smiles to my Friday.

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

@Sarah: The event is supposed to be "cumpleanos" with a tilda (~) over the n. It's Spanish for birthday. This isi a very . . . . .interesting. . .. . . . translation.

I didn't think it was possible to screw up something as simple as tic-tac-toe. I should know better after reading this blog for so long.

Actually, I think the engagement ring cake was nicely done, even if it is a CCC.

I have been assigned to bring rolls for Thanksgiving, so I'm baking them myself. How do you think it would go over if I brought Bread Lady instead? I have the perfect recipe -- it's for Teddy Bear Bread. But I could do some tweaking. . . .

Jen, we love you in all your geekiness, no matter what. I didn't get about half your references, but I don't care. You give us so much each day to make us laugh! You give us all the geek you want -- we'll gladly take it!

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

You are.... AWESOME! Thanks for making my morning!

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

The word for birthday in Spanish is cumpleaños...the joke about Spanish imprecision (vs. Inquisition) is a little clue. Normally you would say Feliz Cumpleaños (Happy Birthday). This wreck gets to be both offensive and nonsensical!

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterA.

Bwahahahaha! I completely did not expect the Spanish Imprecision, and I was already in the comfy chair!

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLeigh Ann

Re Sharyn, and with deepest appreciate for her mentor, Jen, who sets the bar for all geeks and lovers of humorous word play….

Super Geek

She’s a very geeky girl
She reads books under the covers
She will never let your spirits down
Once you get her from the library, ow girl
She likes the quotes from the movies,
She says puns are her all-time favorite
She moved to the Cake Wreck team at the right time
The transition was a breeze
That girl is pretty funny now
The girl’s a super geek
The kind who makes you laugh now
In Cake Wrecks every week
That girl is pretty funny
The girl’s a super geek
We really love to read her
In Cake Wrecks every week
She’s all right, she’s all right
That girl’s all right with us, yeah
She’s a super geek, super geek
She’s super-geeky, yow
Super geek, super geek

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterThe Midnight Writer


November 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

chocolate syrup and poppy seeds...who would eat that....?

@Jodee: safe travels and know that the support and caring of your CW family goes with you....

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

Cakes... It had to be cakes... I hate cakes...

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

one word...

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

That's no clown angel! that's a Mr. Bill angel. They finally got him...

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKate

I am always happy to stumble upon Wargames when flipping through the channels and my younger sister and I still sometimes say in that special voice, "Shall we play a game?"

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Thank you for the Spanish explication - I was mystified until I read it.

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

@Midnight Writer: Wow! I'm touched.

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Thank you to all for the Spanish lesson - I was stumped as well.

But wait - is there a "normal" way to say "shall we play a game"? I can only hear it in that computer voice.

@Jamie Jo - LOL at the "sacked" reference. I love that bit.

To everyone else...geeks are shiny. Yay geeks!!

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

Thank you, Midnight Writer!
I will have that song stuck in my head for the rest of the day, and that makes me very happy.

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Jen, keep the geekery coming! I'm proud to say I actually got MOST of today's geeky puns and might I say I haven't LOL'd this much in long time!

I bet I know how that "shiny Happy Birthday" cake got to look like that; it appears that the lettering was done with melted chocolate, which solidified on top of tinted clear gel goo. "Birthday" was written with the capital B separate from the rest of the word, and when the cake was tilted for display, the "irthday" part slowly drifted downwards. (Just my amateur guess...)

Lastly, thanks for putting bars on the female bread monstrosity!

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDaisy

Is it sad that I was mostly just glancing at the cakes because I was enjoying the commentary so much?! I cannot wait until tomorrow afternoon!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

@TLC: I think instead of tweaking, that would be twerking. You could call it Teddy Bare bread.

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDB

Please tell me you guys are planning a Doctor Who-themed Sunday Sweets this week! That would be the icing on the cake, so to speak. Lol.

LLAP, Sharyn.

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermonica

@blissteach: Your daughter reminds me of Youngest Daughter, who proudly wore her "The Minions Have The Phone Box" shirt from Teefury and my TARDIS laplander hat from Thinkgeek to her Share Day (fourth grade). As I recall, only one girl got it. Shae-lin is now her best friend.

@Bella: Truly awesome! Eleven would be pleased! That was one of his best speeches!

@wildmaven: I hope not, 'cause I am!

@Sandy C: Yes, I heard about the Monty Python reunion--it's supposed to be in July--and how could this holiday get cooler? Doctor Who AND Python??? According to the newspaper today--yes, I still read the print newspaper, I read print books, too, sue me--they're doing it "to remind ourselves that we are funny and important and famous." How could they think they're NOT?!?!
Especially the FUNNY part??

@Carol: Me, too. You had the courage to admit what I was thinking. I couldn't have said it better myself.

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Huh. I did watch all of "Firefly" and still don't remember ever hearing "shiny" on it. Guess I don't get to wear a brown coat.

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

@Midnight Writer: Brilliant. Thanks for aptly putting into song what we feel for Sharyn. : - )

Regarding the cakes, where's a Holy Hand Grenade when you need one?

@Jodee: Have a safe trip. When the boys were little, we always played car games to keep them occupied. I don't suppose they have those for dogs? : - /

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

Gorramit, give me three! Thank you for making my Friday so enjoyable. <3

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

I'm sorry to say that I have failed at Cake Wrecks geekdom. I not only only recognized two of the references, but didn't recognize the cakes either. I thought that white thing was a daisy being used for "love me, love me not".
It's a good thing that Sharyn has ample help from others on this site, because I certainly missed this one.

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Godspeed, Jodee! I second what mel said, & may the dogs sleep a lot on your trip! =^~.-^=

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

My geeky heart is happy! Thank you! :-D

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

What EXACTLY are we wishing for Nurse Stein?

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJose

I will never get tired of geeky puns and jokes. I love them.

I'm curious - and scared! - as to what is on that first cake to make it so very shiny. The color makes me wonder if it's jellied poo. : - (((((((((((((

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNoey

Monty Python and the Princess Bride in the same post - oy! A match made in a devious mind! Awesome...thanks!

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJean Burke

*sniff* the And a Happy Day of the Doctor to all and to all..Allons-y!!!

November 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBeckah

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