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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Mar192013

Spring DOOM!!! 

This spring, terror has a new name:

 

SCREAMING BLOOD-SOAKED LAGOMORPH RECKONING OF DOOOOOM

With everything you've come to expect from a low budget, Easter-themed horror movie! 

Including:

Idiotic, overly testosterone-laden frat boys:

 

  "There's old blood and creepy hooks hanging everywhere in this abandoned house that's miles from anywhere - so let's check out the basement! Shyah!"

 

Gratuitous nudity:

 

"OMG Jill, we should go skinny dipping!"

 

That one guy with common sense who always dies at the beginning:

"Guys, this is a really bad idea. Why don't we just get in the car and leave? It's right over there! Jill, put your clothes back on! Well, I'm leavinaaaaauuuuuugggghhhhh!!!!"

 

Those freaky long-limbed creatures that crawl on ceilings:


NOPE. Nope. Nope-nope-nope-nope!

 

And of course, creepy two-headed chicks:

 "Come play with us.

"We'll play ... chicken."


 

So this Easter, hop on over ... 

 

 ... FOR A KILLING.

 
.... FROM A CREEPY COW/SHEEP/BUNNY ... THING.
 
UM.
 
YEAH. 

 

 

Thanks to Geneva W., Kathleen L., John B., Michelle L., Alyssa T., Anne B., & Lisa F. for the basket case ... OF HORROR. 

(Ok, so today wasn't the best pun day. WHAT.)

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Reader Comments (60)

Gee, I thought rabbits were rodents... of horror! (Heading to the bunker.)

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

1. "That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on! "
I know, I know, that 's getting old. I just posted it to wake up the "rabbits are not rodents..." people.

2. My daughter's middle school guidance councelor was in "Blair Witch Project" (no joke,) and thought he made it all the way to the end of the movie, he kind of looked like "The Guy With Common Sense" cake.
He also been able to survive middle school, so that's something.

C. A Clockwork Easter...

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I don't know where your "Nope. Nope. Nope-nope-nope-nope" quote came from (I'm a current culture hermit) but it reminded me of these two space aliens from Sesame Street and their Yips and Nopes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qxWGr8VhzQ
(first "nope" about 1:10 in, and there are more).

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

I feel bad that I haven't been able to find any cake wrecks in our local stores. Sure...we get all the GOOD decorators around here!

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJim

The ceiling creature is actually kind of cute, though!

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChartreuse

CW and a snow day... Could it get any better?

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCourt J.

The turd with legs is a little too much, but I might be needing a plush version of cow/sheep/bunny.

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Pfft. All they need is one good Holy Hand Grenade, and one, two, five, the horror would be over.

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

Wow. There are people out there who have had some very traumatic Easters.

@SuBee: I LOVE the fact that someone who made it through the Blair Witch Project is now a junior high guidance counselor! What better preparation for being in that field!

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Creepy cow/sheep/bunny has come to take my soul.

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

can't sleep cakes will eat me, can't sleep cakes wil eat me...

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Oh God, Picture # 5...the Easter bunny has always creeped me out, and that one didn't help matters any!!!

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJES

Ah, Sharyn. I knew I liked you for a reason. I shall repair to the bunker, post haste.

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Lol

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterElphaba Thropp

I'm with you on the creepy ceiling crawler things.

Just......
no.

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDaniMae

Am I the only one that thinks that the first one looks like it was made from Great Stuff? http://greatstuff.dow.com/

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercass

What the HECK is that first one supposed to BE????
Thanks for the narration, John. I could totally hear the announcer's voice in my head. Of DOOM! hahahahaha

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

I'm missing the Killer Rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. He is their leader. :p

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPetra

@SuBee: I'll bring dessert. Cake sound OK?

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Cow/sheep/bunny has a nose made out of a dismembered pink Peep bunny head!! Nooooo!!!

I thought it was kinda cute until I noticed that...

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCarrieG

Where's a baseball bat when you need one?

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

ahhhh..great job, john (the hubby of jen) -- reminds me of two things: (1) the horror movie "trailer" you posted some time ago (which is a classic) and (2) the 1972 horror movie "Night of the Lepus"....which turned out to be large rabbits destroying miniature sets....the most horrifying thing was that I paid money to see it....

@SuBee: A Clockwork Easter...lol....

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

That last wreck isn't a wreck at all. It represents the Western Southern Kryzhkstaninan tradition of the Easter Charolais. No, really. Would the voices lie?

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Has there ever been a post that screamed more for someone to do an audio recording and share it? I'd do it but I'm only computer friendly and not savvy. (What? A chick could do these promos, too, it doesn't always have to be impressive voice guy!)

Anyone??

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Gee, and I thought they looked like albino pigs...

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNancy N

Did they? No, they didn't. Yes, they did! They cut the heads off Peep rabbits and removed the ears to make noses for the creepy cow/sheep/PIG things! (Yes, I thought they were pigs when I first saw them, so that is what I will call them.)

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

I thought those last...creatures were My Little Ponies.

Now, are those spiders, or just really heavy eye makeup?

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterveg-o-matic

Wow!...Just Wow!

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCyndi

That first one reminds me of Matt Groening's rabbits from "The Big Book of Hell"...

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Oh, dear. Go out of the loop for a day or two, and just look what happens! [Note to self: must refrain from talking that far back in my throat, lest it become permanent.]

Anyway. I missed the mini-Epcot on Sunday (the day usually reserved for "aww!", "oooh, how pretty!", and "can I get that one made in (craft idiom of choice)?"), then I find out that The Bunker and environs have been...redecorated. I see I'll have to have another talk with Eddie 2.

As for the episode I now refer to as, "Oh, say, you can't see," let's just say the experiment was a highly qualified success. Theardare was successfully distracted by something shiny (in this case, a pot o' gold), and so I was able to un-unsee myself. He seems to have forgotten all about that other incident, which is just as well.

To be continued...

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

#5: Excerpt from Silence of the Lambs II: The Screaming of the Peeps --- Clarice:"He's making himself a 'Peep's suit,' Mr. Crawford, out of real Peeps. And he, he can cook, this guy. He's, he's very skilled. He's a baker or a confectioner..."

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

The "long log lagomorph from the loo"(#5) is disturbing.

March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJennintenn

The cow/sh