According to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, there are NOT three dangers of the Fire Swamp, my friends; there are seven.
Instead, grab your sonic screwdriver,
(With both hands...)
and your ugliest tie-dye beach towel,
(You know, the one with the ugly flowers and the nutrient-soaked hem.)
...and let's go see if we can find the other four!
Wait, I'm forgetting something...
Hey! You! In the red shirt! Wanna join the team?
Great! We wouldn't think of leaving without you.
Look, up above! It's a Cthulpoo Pony!
Watch out for their aerial bowel assault!
Now, step lively! The Guide warns of AFGs. You could fall and break your neck.
"Areas of Fluctuating Gravity? I don't think they exi-- aiieeeggghhhh!"
Listen! Do you smell something?
As I suspected: it's the herbivorous blast-ended skrewt!
("They call me... Tim.")
Mind the pincers; they've got nasty, big, pointy teeth!
Well, that's three. There's just one more danger --
The Excitable Squirrels of Amorosity!
Look out, men! They'll go straight for your nuts!
(Whose idea was it to bring all these peanuts, anyway?)
Thanks to Robert S., Stacy, Gillian, Anony M., Kellee C., Rachael E., and Jane B., for sending us pictures of cakes that are mostly harmless.