[very polite Englishman] "Yes, I'd like to order a baby shower cake, if I might. Something perhaps a bit creepy. Not fond of the mother, you see."
[very polite English salesman] "Yes, of course, of course... Might I suggest our Face of Birth cake?"
"Hm, yes, it is quite creepy, but I was thinking something a bit more, if that's not too much trouble?"
"Not at all, sir. Perhaps this will be more to your liking?"
"Oh, that is unsettling... but could we remove the body?"
"Say no more. I've just the thing:"
"Yes, yes, I can see how that might send a bit of a shiver. Could we maybe bury the baby IN the cake, though? Perhaps add a crustacean?"
"Ahh, the old 'crustacean on half a newborn!' That's my specialty, sir, and it's quite creepy - if I do say so myself."
"You know, I truly appreciate your effort, my good man, but I think we've missed the mark. I tell you what: just make something vaguely baby shaped and slap it on the ugliest cake you can find. Think we could do that?"
"Of course, sir, and may I compliment you on your excellent sense of humor? I shall have it post haste."
Thanks to Britani, Valentina V., Alexia O., Alison P., & Zahirah for the ruddy good time.