My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Infantile Humor

[Tinkling bell]

[very polite Englishman] "Yes, I'd like to order a baby shower cake, if I might. Something perhaps a bit creepy. Not fond of the mother, you see."

[very polite English salesman] "Yes, of course, of course... Might I suggest our Face of Birth cake?"

"Hm, yes, it is quite creepy, but I was thinking something a bit more, if that's not too much trouble?"

"Not at all, sir. Perhaps this will be more to your liking?"

"Oh, that is unsettling... but could we remove the body?"

"Say no more. I've just the thing:"

"Yes, yes, I can see how that might send a bit of a shiver. Could we maybe bury the baby IN the cake, though? Perhaps add a crustacean?"

"Ahh, the old 'crustacean on half a newborn!' That's my specialty, sir, and it's quite creepy - if I do say so myself."

"You know, I truly appreciate your effort, my good man, but I think we've missed the mark. I tell you what: just make something vaguely baby shaped and slap it on the ugliest cake you can find. Think we could do that?"

"Of course, sir, and may I compliment you on your excellent sense of humor? I shall have it post haste."



Thanks to Britani, Valentina V., Alexia O., Alison P., & Zahirah for the ruddy good time.

« I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream, "That's Ice Cream?!?" | Main | Sunday Sweets: Leggo My LEGO »

Reader Comments (67)

In my best Bostonian:

The lobstah ate my baby!

July 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHM

I refuse to believe that anything on that last cake is actually food.

July 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Totally heard John Cleese's voice

July 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCaren

the last one looks like it's covered in sushi rice. (HURK)

July 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

maybe i should have heard it as monty python, but i heard the whole thing as fry and laurie from the second line.

July 8, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterliz

The first cake is actually beautiful if you take away the creepy-ass face.

July 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTeal

Well I liked the first one it was very nicely decorated except the doll's head looks like it is about to be squashed. Yikes. As for that last one.. did they just throw anything they wanted on it and hope for the best? Yucky looking lol.

July 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

The first one looks more like pram toppled over and flattened by steamroller.

July 9, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

What YEAR were the two first cakes baked??? They look like the corny pictures of my 1955 cook book!

July 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNuri

My dearest lobster,
I saved the best part for you:
succulent heinie.

July 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

That last one - was it actually made by an alleged professional? Cause I mean, a lot of the time we can put stuff down to your basic teen-making-holiday-money-in-supermarket sort of situation, but there is just NO explanation for that last one if someone had to pay for it.

Actually someone really *should* have to pay for that.

I suspect anyone who ate it did.

July 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

I'd like to apologise to my fellow countrymen for reading that in the most stereotypical accent I could.

July 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterIzzy B

@Haiku Joy: Hahaha!

July 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

@zoomom: Yes!

July 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

The last one looks like someone unstuffed a used diaper on top of a cake. It's gross.

July 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGwynn

the baby in a coffin was bad, think of serving it," well, we lost the baby, but who wants cake?" (another mourner) "Me me! I want to eat the face!"
Yep, creepy, the last one just looks like someone yacked a 3 course meal in a bowl, and served it. oh, maybe after having the dead baby cake.

July 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMrRighteo


July 13, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPinkie Pie

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>