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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Sep272013

My New Favorite Thing Ever: STICK A STICK IN IT

Ahh, black and white weddings. So classic. So chic. Why, just look at this beribboned beauty here:

LOOK AT IT.

That's what the bride wanted.

This is what the bride got:

CLASSIC.

 

And how about this little number?

Simple white tiers, drippy dragees, a flower topper - what could go wrong?

 

[deadpan stare]

[uncomfortable silence]

[slow, creepy grin]

 

BAM!

Oh, you know you love it.

 

Ok, last one. Behold this black and white flight of fancy:

FANCY.

 

Now behold When Flights of Fancy Collide With The Telephone Pole Of Ineptitude:

Here's what Angela, the bride, had to say:

"...the cake was falling apart when she brought it in and once she sat it down she started grabbing glow bracelets and stuffing them in the cake along with a stick she had my mom break off a tree outside...."

 

I'm going to stop you there, Angela, just so we can all savor this moment.

***

Everyone done savoring?
Ok, Angela, please continue.

 

"....and the cake was not even fully decorated...the back of the cake was bare....and I had asked to have burgundy hearts and white daisies added as well... it wasn't even the cake I had wanted and she said she could do them no problem!"

 

There's a lesson to be learned here, my friends. A lesson which I am not prepared to reveal because I'm too busy looking for the tree branch jammed in that cake up there.

 

Thanks to Karie C., Mikki J., and Angela for sharing their pain with us today. So that we may laugh. At their pain. But in a supportive way.

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Reader Comments (109)

Actually, the one and only lesson to be learned from these is simply: YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR. Brides, stop deluding yourselves that someone can make your $700 "dream" cake for $150. The real decorators out there are NOT ripping you off...you are simply buying what you've asked for when you engage the services of a professional cake designer/maker.

September 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEva

If the "baker" put an actual stick from a tree in the cake, I just wonder where she got the feathers.... :/

September 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Really, if I were a baker and those monstrosities were the best I could do ......

I would quit. Close up shop. Become a monk.

September 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTrudy

The bottom cake looks like a bad acid trip tim burton was on. Wow nightmarish!

October 1, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbijoux

Read it again: the bride was so upset that the fraudulent bakery delivered the awful cake, so upset that she started mutilating the cake out of rage. it's a perfectly understandable reaction.

Who ARE these fake bakers who promise fondant and can't even make their butter-cream garbage stay together?

October 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterVinemaple

Read it again: the bride was so upset that the fraudulent bakery delivered the awful cake, so upset that she started mutilating the cake out of rage. it's a perfectly understandable reaction.

Who ARE these fake bakers who promise fondant and can't even make their butter-cream garbage stay together?

October 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterVinemaple

I think I've said this here before, but I'll say it again: as a professional pastry chef who has been confronted time and time again by couples who want gorgeous intricately designed cakes to serve 200 people but only want to pay $50 for it - you gets what you pays for. I've had to so many people bring me photos of cakes with 5000 hand-pulled sugar flowers, gold leaf, fondant ribbons in incredible knots, lace decoration made of fondant or royal icing, etc. etc. but when told such a cake would cost upwards of five or six hundred dollars and probably much more, they balk - and take their pictures to a friend of their aunt who bakes, or a neighbor lady who bakes, or their grandma who bakes, etc. etc. And so they end up with a dog's dinner on their wedding day.

These cakes are funny, pathetic and weird, but usually the blame for their existence lies with the engaged couple and not with the poor, untried, unskilled people who attempt to copy a photo from Martha Stewart or some rare creation on Pinterest. Kids, if you want the cake of your dreams, save your pennies and go with a reputable professional cake baker who has a portfolio of his/her own designs! If you only have $50 to spend on a wedding cake, resign yourself to a Costco cake, cupcakes made by your mom or a cake made by an ethnic bakery. And don't complain.

October 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSandy T.

@ Sandy T: Sandy, I think one of the "rules" on this site is that the cakes have to be made by a professional baker/bakery. So I'm assuming these cakes were just made by very unskilled "professionals," and not relatives. I could be wrong, but the fun of this site is giggling at the "professional" cakes; it'd be pointless to make fun of a cake made by the average Joe who never called themselves a pro in the first place.

October 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

Please tell me you got a full refund from these atrocities of cakes & I use tge term "cakes" loosely.

December 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArtese

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