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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Mar122014

10 Bakers Who Would Really Suck At Pictionary

Ready, Set, DRAW!

 

1. Steak:

I guess "T-Bone" doesn't like his steak well done.
(HEYO!)

 

2. Guitar:

Strings are for sissies.

 

3. Truck Tire:

Yes, really.

 

4. The Eiffel Tower:

Try as I might, all I can see is the Leg Lamp from A Christmas Story. Just me?

 

5. Basketball:

*sigh*

 

6. Flip-Flops:

Made from only the freshest diseased lungs.

 

7. Alligator:

Post-digestion.

 

8. Fire:

"Fire" going down in flames. The irony, it burns.

 

9. Airplane

"Surely you can't be serious."

"I am serious... and don't call me 'Shirley.'"

 

10. Elvis:

...left the building a long, LONG time ago. This looks more like David Bowie wearing a skunk.

 

Thanks to Teresa, Anne D., Mattia M., Julia B., Sherri C., Katelyn C., Rachel, Emily D., Jen M., & Heather R. for drawing all the wrong conclusions.

Editor's note- Some of you have told me that you're having trouble seeing the pictures today. If that's you, would you send me an email to let me know? Thanks so much and Wreck On! -john (the hubby of Jen) (comments(at)cakewrecks.com)

 

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Reader Comments (75)

Maybe he's the Wicked Alligator of the West and someone threw water on him?

BTW, I speak Jive. ;)

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

A Big Hunk O Skunk
Are You Lonesome Cake Tonight?
Alien House Rock

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I can actually see the alligator. The rest? Not so much.

And the David Bowie wearing a skunk comment cracked me up - I needed that :)

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

Thanks for the laughs-much needed. This is why I sucked at pictionary

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Oh, my goodness. I thought that "airplane" was a really strange tennis shoe! My bad!

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKimK

Thank you for telling me what these were supposed to be. I would have wasted a whole day at work trying to figure them out.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

Sung to "If I Had a Million Seconds"

If I had a million seconds
If I had a million seconds
I would draw you a steak
A pink intestinal T-Bone steak

And if I had a million seconds
If I had a million seconds
I'd draw some strings for your guitar
Trust me, Freud says you're not a sissy

And if I had a million seconds
If I had a million seconds
I'd draw you three more tires
A fishnet tower and a hairless mole
And if I had a million seconds, I'd draw you lungs

If I had a million seconds
I'd draw you a pre-digested alligator
If I had a million seconds I'd draw some flames
That didn't burn

If I had a million seconds
I'd draw a tail fin on that plane
If I had a million seconds
Shirley it wouldn't be so lame

And if I had a million seconds
If I had a million seconds
I'd draw Bowie wearing a skunk hat
But not a real skunk hat, that's cruel.

If I had a million seconds
If I had a million seconds
If I had a million seconds
If I had a million seconds
Then we'd win!

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Please! #4 is really Eiff Tower Squarepants. And, wow! $30 for that last "Work-o-Art". What a bargoooon!
(and EVERYBODY calls me Shirley)

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

So the "guitar" doesn't really look like a guitar to me. I can't say what it looks like because this site is generally family friendly. Let's just say it doesn't look like drugs or rock and roll.

So was that just me? Ok, Carry on.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

Frah-gee-lay! It must be Italian!

And that airplane looks more like a submarine to me.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

I guess I need to wake up a bit...#9 looks more like a shoe (think smelly tennis shoe) than an airplane. Unless I tilt my head to the left. Then maybe?

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

The alligator has been turned into a newt and it hasn't got better yet!

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

In #9, I swear that it looks more like the starship enterprise from the side then an airplane... but maybe that's just me. Also #10 could pass for Mike Score from Flock of Seagulls, he did have that crazy hair you know!

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlyssa

Maria...not just you. I also saw not-drugs and rock and roll, and it gave me the embarrassed giggles.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterShekuse

I'm glad you're here to explain this to us!
Otherwise I'd spend the day with held tilted, squinting and puzzling.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Wait, the first one is not poorly inserted IUD?

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I thought the airplane was a sock and the flames were bananas. But the real stumper is the basketball. HOW THE HECK IS THAT THING SUPPOSED TO BE A BASKETBALL???

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought the airplane was a tennis shoe.

Pictionary Jr. is a little more my speed.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Alyssa, now that you mention it it does look like the Warp Engine from the Starship Reliant.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

Cake 1: The latest in fashionable food: mashed potatoes, white asparagus and a white steak, all on a black plate.

Cake 2: And it comes with free lessons, Mason, really. No strings attached.

Cake 3: I never tire of these wrecks.

Cake 4: I see London, I see France, I see this cake’s underpants.

Cake 5: Hoop, hoop, hurray! Nice try. Almost made it into the hole…but turned out to be a rim job, instead.

Cake 6: Splish splash, I was takin’ a bath, along about Saturday night. Rub a dub, got outta the tub and my left foot was bigger than my right.

Cake 7: Trying to look scary, and not wanting to end up as a fashion accessory, the alligator looked the hunters straight in the eyes and pursed his lips….

Cake 8: Jordan asked for banana cake for his birthday….

Cake 9: Literally leaving on a wing…and a prayer. (Or,
“Did that airplane hit you?” “No, it just winged me.”)

Cake 10: More pompadour….

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEarl of Sandwich

So, at first I thought #2 was a baby rattle, then I saw the musical notes. #5 is from someone who was obviously told to keep their eye on the ball... #7 is the not-so-endangered West Florida Highway Roadkill Gator, althought the accident left him much less of a tail-gator... #8: I hope Jordan likes bananas? #10 reminded me of the Veggie Tales story when the characters were wearing boots on their heads. Although when I first read it, I though you meant David Byrne, not Bowie! Byrne would be more likely to wear a shoe hat, I think.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAllegra

#5: Hah! The photo credit reads: "pumpkinorbasketball.jpg?") So even THEY didn't know what to call that thing.
#8: Not flames. Bananas...under pressure. So much pressure that they caved in.
#9: @SaraV~I see a sub, too: the Beatles' Yellow Submarine.
#10: I see neither Bowie nor Elvis. I see a miniature killer whale balancing on the top of Sulu's head.
=^e.e^=

P.S. to Mr.Wizard of Wecks: Do you have anything in your little black bag for me? I CAN see the pictures.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

To me, that "airplane" looks like a giant foot coming down (squish!), as in Monty Python. If only...

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

@SaraV, I also thought it was a submarine.
The Elvis cake . . . no idea what I thought that was. Kif from Futurama being attacked by a shark, would be my best guess. And at $29.99 what a bargain it is.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFM

#10 - The Thin, White Puke

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDanny

#9 : I saw a submarine too. And really, bakers should stop trying to design anything with cupcakes. That's a recipe for disaster.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAthena

I really thought #9 was a halfway decent submarine.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterOrianna Laun

I'm so glad you told us what those were supposed to be because I never would have gotten those right.
As for the "guitar" cake, I'm just impressed they had the flags on the music notes going the right direction (Music nerd alert!), but the guitar is just a disaster. Wow.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

Cyclops Jack-o-Lantern looks VERY serious about life.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

@Alyssa: In honor of your comment (re #10), I present this mini-filk...

I went to get a cake for you.
I told them you thought Elvis was so cool;
Elvis was so cool.
But what they showed me was a mess;
It looked like Butthead with a skunk headdress;
With a skunk headdress...

And I ran, I ran so far away
I just ran, I ran both night and day
I couldn't get away.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStarknight

I have to say, the flip-flops are definitely the least bad of these horrible artistic attempts. Followed by the alligator. The rest? Just... no.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArianna M.

That "truck tire" is staring at me... make it stahp!

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I'm with everyone else who thought #9 was a tennis shoe. If I was booked on a plane like that, I'd leave instructions for forwarding my luggage and start walking.

And that Eiffel Tower: Oh, sure. Let's try to replicate something made entirely of long, skinny bars with round things. Um, no.

I'll have to look more closely the next time I pass an 18-wheeler. I didn't realize that their tires are now full of eyeballs.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Most of these wreckorators didn't even stop to look at a picture of what they were trying to render in (mostly) 2D. If they had, I bet it wouldn't have helped at all. Because Wreckerator Power is invincible! (Or, as they would say it, imvecelble.)

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

@Sharyn ~ I'm not buying you a real fur coat. That's cruel!

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

I am SO glad I'm not the only one who saw David Bowie...

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKHandcock

#3 is a Dalek, viewed from above. Right? Right??

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

The guitar looks to me like a skeleton arm wearing a boxing glove...

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterdeep blue

#1 I was wondering where that IUD went.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

@Earl ~ #5 just about killed me! My boss is going to start charging me for the keyboards I keep ruining o.O

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

I thought the alligator wasn't too bad - not that I'd want to eat all that icing.

At first glance I thought the "basketball" cake was a petri dish (the plastic covering helped), and I was sure the "airplane" was a Converse runner (or "sneakers", as Americans call them).

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDNA

@wildmaven: Now that you mention it...RUN!!!!!

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I, too, saw a shoe for number 9... and the guitar in number 2 could also pass as a spotted turkey leg.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

I think I'd be even worse at Pictionary than these bakers are. Weirdly I thought Dalek when I saw the truck tire cake.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

No time to comment on all today. I swear the 2nd-to-last one was a running shoe. I was shocked when I looked at the caption and saw it was supposed to be a plane! The last one looked sorta like a New England Patriot to me. (No offense to any fans! It was just the impression I got.) The basketball was really bad. Reminded me of an orange martini olive.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

The surrealist fashion designer Schiaparelli made a hat in the 30s that looked like an upside down shoe. I never knew that Elvis based his hairstyle on that.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFaith

@Starknight - That is AWESOME!!! I will now be singing those alternate lyrics when I hear I Ran from now on!

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlyssa

Am I the only one who thought that last one was a really bad Loki-impersonation? Because it looked like someone tried to recreate Loki and failed miserably.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCassie

That Mason plays a mean electric turkey leg!

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSusanna K.

Couldn't figure most of those. But the alligator is kidney d of cute....

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMoonflwr912

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