My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Sweet Dreams

As someone who's battled insomnia for most of my adult life, I know just how valuable a soothing bedtime story can be. So, my fellow sleepless-in-wherevers, this one's for you.

[hem ahem hem]


Once upon a time...

there was a baby who was very sleepy.

The baby's undead friends, however, kept asking:

Yes, throughout the long nights, the baby's best buds howled and screamed and demanded that he stay awake, and play!

One day the baby thought, Maybe if I disguise myself as a ladybug and hide in the forest, my friends won't be able to find me to ask me to play!


And so, chopping off his own arms and legs, he did.

But, alas! His buggy disguise soon attracted a sticky swarm of monster ladybugs.

They crawled in his hair and tickled his ears and the baby forgot about sleep for another night.


Maybe, the baby thought next, if I cover myself with a big blanket, I won't hear my friends calling me!

And so, plugging his little ears, he did.

But, alas! His friend Mr. Bubbles had a very loud and squeaky nose:

Plus, Mr. Bubbles' chainsaws were terribly noisy.


I know! The baby thought at last. I'll hide in this cake! Then I can nap as long as I want.

And so, burrowing into the soft spongy layers, he did.

But, alas! The cake was Mr. Monkey's birthday cake.


***The End***


Now, who wants seconds?

(By the fabulous Leigh Henderson)



Amanda K., Alice N., Mary, Katherine L., Amanda H., Sydney F., Sarah V., & Eden C., sleep tight.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« "Aces, Charles. ACES." | Main | Do You Wanna Bake a Snowman? »

Reader Comments (57)

Well, thank you very much. I am sure that sleep is now guaranteed to evade me. (That was delightfully horrifying)

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow


March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMovieMom

That was FABULOUS!!!

Now, a song...

Rock-a-bye baby, in an eggshell
Your demon friends will see you in Hell
When you're a bug, big monsters you'll call
They will eat baby, feelers and all.

Rock-a-bye baby, plug those ears -- PLOP!
But Mr. Bubbles' nose just won't stop
Burrow deep down in the buttercream
And Mr. Monkey won't hear you scream.

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

That last horrid, nightmare inducing, disturbingly-accurate-yet-creepy-as-all-get-out cake perhaps could serve well for the new Planet Of The Apes installment, Rise Of The Apes. *shutter*

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMovieMom

Thanks for the nightmare(s) that I will be having tonight.

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEla

What a charming story...
I think Mr. Bubbles it the joker's cousin.

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterViolet

Need eye bleach!

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCathy


March 26, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Excuse me, but I
seem to have lost my eyeballs.
May I be excused?

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

No wonder you have insomnia.

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I think Mr. Monkey is undead...or a pet of the black-eyed children...

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

Very soothing and relaxing. Until we get to the second sentence.

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Oh lord, Sharyn, you just took it to a whole new level of creepy!! I can just imagine that in a soft sing-song of disembodied children's voices.

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H.

Aw Jen,

And you said there wouldn't be anymore books! I think you need to get your publisher on the phone, you've got the next Good Night Moon here.

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaggie

Bwah ha ha ha ha! Mr. Bubbles and his chainsaw!!! Bwah ha ha ha ha!! *Shudder*

First last week's clown cake, and now Mr. Bubbles and the monkey from hell. I'm never gonna sleep again.
*Assumes fetal position under her desk*

Among the many disturbing features of that baby in the first cake, its oversize head is possibly the most disturbing.

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

It's the Monkey Troll!!! Auggghhh! Run away!!!

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Lovely lullaby, Sharyn! Let's all gather around and whisper-sing it together, as we tuck today's offerings in for a nice, looong nap~~at the local garbage dump. I'll bring the dead flowers. Rot ON!! =^x.x^=

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

So many disturbing images. Those "legs" on #7 just make me think of bandage wrappings on a burn victim, and then I just want to cry. So unsettling.

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I may never sleep again. And thanks, Sharyn - I'm going to sing that to my daughter tonight. Because if I can't sleep, she shouldn't be allowed to sleep either.

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

After years of daily visits to CW here, I have learned that when I open the page, if I can't see the first photo, to WAIT...and read the caption, the description and witty banter before scrolling down to the first wreck-oto...I have HOWLED with laughter on this site, been frightened by creepy clowns and puzzled over illegible frosting scribbles. I have NEVER, until today, scrolled down and shouted "AAAAHHHHH!!!!!" as the first cake is revealed. That is one creepy baby, also...that monkey...if I believed in hell, that monkey would be Hell's chief of staff.

-shuddering- I'ma need me some comforting hot cocoa now.

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVBeach Alemap

I chuckled at Sharyn's song, and then Amanda H had to go and mention...


[of Doom!]

*cries softly*

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

That was one of the most disturbing posts I've seen in a while. That baby ladybug cake was kind of a shame, the decorator actually seems quite talented...

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCamille

Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! I have just been re-disturbed! I scrolled up and caught a look at the monkey's extremely creepy FINGER FEET!!!

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

The first one is now currently at the top of the "Creepy Kid Cake" list! Thanks to this blog that I even have a "Creepy Kid Cake" list...

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDebs

That last one made me really, truly, gasp in horror.


March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterManda

Those were terrifying, actually. I think Steven Moffatt might be able to use them as Doctor Who villains.

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Oh dear that was terrifying. I'll never sleep again!

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterChrista

Can't sleep, cake is going to eat me...

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

@Haiku_Joy, that is a masterpiece! Unlike the horrifying monstrosity that is Egg Baby. I don't even have words strong enough to describe Leg Baby.

I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful. I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful.

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

Oh my goodness. And this right after I got finished reading the '2 sentence horror stories' thing. I'm never sleeping again!

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMalia

And to think I thought the baby was bad. Getting flashbacks to the monkey! :O

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGina

So...a pitch for the next season of American Horror Story?

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Mindy

Thanks for the baby shower cake ideas! I've been roped into more shower cakes than I care to bake in the next two weeks... this should solve the problem!

(have to add.... way... way.. creepy. I can't stand the "baby" baby shower cakes... who wants to eat an infant's foot?)

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBlackWidowNor

I've never liked scary movies, but this was worse. That's got to be the creepiest baby I've ever seen.

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterALLEGRA W

Hooray (I think): one of my submissions made it in! The monster melting ladybug horror comes to you all the way from Istanbul, proving you'll never know where you'll find a cake wreck.

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKatherine L

First cake: I'm sorry, that baby looks like an unborn fetus to me. Waxy-colored and just...not...alive. Like someone fished it out of a jar of formaldehyde.
Second cake: Looks like someone covered road-kill with shaving cream.
Third cake: An example of the vicious flesh-eating Amazonian giant beetle, which has captured an infant and eaten all except (so far) the head.
Fourth cake: Godzilla and Mothra's friend, Beetle-Yo, on its way to destroy Tokyo. The cheesiness and obvious fakery of the costume is what makes Japanese ick-flicks so endearing.
Fifth cake: For some reason, "Hot Pockets" keeps coming to mind. Or maybe Pop Tarts. Mmmm...tasty!
Sixth cake: I saw this guy once, back in the 60's...after smoking some weird herbs. He was floating through the pine trees, humming quietly in a falsetto voice. Wow. Flashbacks...
Seventh cake: Obviously the scene of a horrible and fatal accident. Whatever reason caused the baby's feet to be wrapped in masses of gauze bandages, the efforts fell by the wayside when Mister Bubbles used his chainsaw to cut off the upper torso. Oh no, Mister Bubbles!
Eighth cake: If any monkey's gonna fling poo...this one is certainly it. The toes are particularly creepy. They look like nasty, pink leeches suckling at the monkey's feet. Ick.

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterChenaya

If ever a collection of cakes needed knifing, these are they. Knife them until they can't scare me any more....please....especially the ghastly monkey that brings back all kinds of childhood fears....please, fetch a knife....

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

"Maaaaawwwwwmmmmmmmmmeeeeeee! The mean lady on the interwebz is scaring me again!"

If only I could send Clutch the Bear to pelt you with a cake. You wouldn't be interested in attending a Houston Rockets game wearing an opponent's jersey, would you? *evil grin* ;)

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterThe Pear Lady

Long time snortler, first time commenter. Hello.

That is disturbing. And not in a good way.

Keep up the good work.

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLucy

OH, how sweet!! Scary Monkey wants to eat my face!!

How high will my electricity bill be when I leave all the lights on in my house??

"No, sweety. Mommy can't turn off the lights, because Jen showed her the monkey. Sorry."

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTor2ga

The only way that monkey could be scarier is if he had wings and worked for the Wicked Witch. Imagine that think with wings!

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Congratulations, Jen!
You are soooo much scarier than Stephen KIng. I have not been this creeped out since Pet Sematary. I will make my husband check under the bed for Mr. Monkey before I go to sleep tonight. And in the closet. Never forget the closet. Look out for those finger toes sticking out from under the dirty sock pile.

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSiouxz

Like @VBeach Alemap, I have learned my lessons about scrolling before reading. When I came here today,I had just finished dealing with a hacked website emergency for the past 24 hours, so I'm very tired and a bit loopy. When I saw the word "baby", I almost didn't scroll down. And then. . . .creepsville.

Cake no. 3 would be very cute if it were an actual ladybug. It could give a few lessons to cake no. 4.

Cake no. 6: If anyone wonders why some people are terrified of clowns, show them this. 'Nuf said.

Cake no. 7 was fine until the . . . . appendages. I know babies are wrinkled, but they aren't born with their socks falling down.

And Mr. Monkey: Truly terrifying. Especially the back-from-the-dead finger feet. I'm going to send this to the support tech who helped me get out of the hacking mess with the subject line: "Who's tired of this monkey business?" And then he, too, can scream in terror.

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

I'll never sleep again!

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Am I the only one who thinks the monkey cake looks like one of the goblins from Troll 2? No? It's just me?

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Baby has kankles.

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjude dorsman

I don't understand all these cakes that look like babies. As creepy as they look right now, they will look infinitely creepier after they have been partially dismembered...err, I mean sliced up to eat. Who wants to eat a chunk of baby head??

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTipsykit37

@Jennifer- Totally agree. I'm a hardcore Whovian and want this to happen.

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

Is it just me or is that monkey covered in maggots?

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterdakota

Ohhhh why don't I ever listen to my inner voice warning me not to click the link lmao. Now to try and clear my mind of the scary wrecks by looking at Sunday Sweets.

March 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>