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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

5 Times It Didn't Pay To Be Polite

Some people think common courtesy is dead. To these people I say, "Hey, do you mind? I CAN'T HEAR THIS PHONE CONVERSATION OVER THE MOVIE WHILE YOU'RE SHUSHING ME."

(Yes, I'm joking.)

(I have exceptionally good hearing.)


And bakers, it seems, are especially bewildered by a simple "please" or "thank you:"

Aww, it's almost sad; the baker missed her own thanking!


I say "almost" sad because after you realize how often this happens...

It gets kinda funny.


Text reads: "Happy Birthday Melissa! Thank you much."


This "thank you" threw the baker SO badly she tried to cope with random question marks:

Happy Birthday Barbara!?

You can almost picture her writing this, sobbing, "What does it mean? WHAT DOES IT MEEEEEAAN???"


And if you use BOTH "please" and "thank you" there's a real chance you could do permanent damage to your baker. So please, be responsible. Don't let this happen:

Then again, that's no excuse to be rude, either.

And trust me, it doesn't help anyway:


Thanks to Nicole P., Stephanie R., Melissa S., Nathan B., Lindsay W., & J.R. for being so easy to please.


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Reader Comments (52)

Great, now I'm going to be singing Janet Jackson's Miss You Much with the lyric "Thank you much"

That, and try to figure out if he walmart in my small town would actually make that last one for me. (In cake form, of course)

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

WARNING! CHOKING HAZARD! Besides gagging on the unintelligible spelling and syntax, are those PIPE CLEANERS stuck into cake #3?

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

Sung to "Thank You for Being a Friend"

Thank you, you blew it again
Try to surprise Nicole now and then.
Your heart is true, you just don't give me what I want.

I'm not ashamed to say
Stephanie liked her cake anyway
Although it's off, Melissa ate her cake anyhow.

I thought I'd throw a party.
Invited everyone Barb knew
We could see those words were not written in green
F*** it. It was still funny.
Thank you, you blew it again.

Thank you, you blew it again.
Thank you, you blew it again.
Thank you, you blew it again.

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I believe cake number 3 is not a baker's wreck. It's a truly creative, dare I say innovative, example of the combination of DIY home repair and the school of art known as utilitarianism. The playful piping of egg tempera combined with spray insulation, the brightly colored springs rising in a seemingly random pattern. And the freshness of the plastic daisies, representing the plasticity of the media used by the artist ... you just have to see it through a critic's eyes, like I do. O.o

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterZeldabird

well, umm, the last one sure got what they requested. in a vulgar, sick, sort of embarrassed kind of way. and isn't that what professionalism is all about? really.

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJamie Jo

Regarding the last one: if I were a decorator, and someone said that to me, I'm just snarky enough to put it on the cookie verbatim.

So I can see where this might not be a wreck.

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

Second cake looks yummy :D too bad some people are too dumb to breathe and walk at the same time.

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I'm thinking the pipe cleaners are actually twisty birthday candles, as you can see where the ends were lit and then blown out (we hope by Melissa). Such a thing does exist. I know, because I Googled it. They look dumb on the cake, but they are probably not pipe cleaners. Thank you much!

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

The balloons on the last one are actually pretty good. The second-to-last one boggles my mind the most because they didn't even use lime green frosting. Some of these people seem too stupid to live.

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Those are twirly birthday candles on cake #3.
They are coming up with all sorts of new and exciting shapes and designs for candles these days.
I guess for those who can't decorate with frosting...

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBin

#5: I Love you Fovere
alway have alway s Will
in lime green fresting

Just too many typos for me.

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered Commentercc

Unlike Fluffy Cow, I had a completely different song in my head:
Thank you very much!
Thank you very much!
'at's the nicest thing that anyone's ever done fo' me!
And if I had a flag, I'd hang me flag out
To let us all 'ave the final victory touch
But since I left me flag at home
I simply have to say
Thank you very, very, very much

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

I love you forever in lime green frosting too, in fact any colour frosting as long as I get to lick it off...oops, sorry, got carried away there.

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

!Please? For the literal LOL Thank? you much?!
hahahahahahahahahaha I love CakeWrecks

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

A student this week turned in an extra credit project four days after the deadline. He wrote it in highlighter. It did not meet any of the project's criteria, but he "pre-graded" it for me on the back of the posterboard. (It was an A, and he wrote "good job, Name! You did what you had to do!") He also included a star in the middle of his name. Did I mention highlighter?

Please, thank you, give me a cake.

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

My mom used to say "Thank you much!"
It didn't work then either. o.O
I'm really hoping that last one is the decorator being snarky. That just makes it all kinds of awesome!

@Sharyn ~ Glad you're feeling better!

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

I'm pretty sure the last one was done out of spite. It never pays to be a rude customer!

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Best buttercream balloons I've ever seen on a wreck.

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLorie

Convo with my daughter when she was 4

D: I love you.
Me: I love you.
D: I love you forever.
Me: I love YOU forever.
D: I love you for eighteen days.

if only she had said "lime green frosting" our love might still be alive!

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJustine

Lime green letters are red,
misspelled forever and always

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

Nothing about Barbara!?'s cake with the Oreos shoved in at random angles? They look like dark misshapen tombstones nestled into mounds of grass. Truly a wreck that makes me ask WTF (what the frosting) were they thinking?

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCBushLite

Shirley, the pipe cleaners are for cleaning the windpipe. Of course.

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I love this site :)

So, my question is... are the bakers at grocery stores and walmart not English-speaking? I'm guessing they are just copying words off a form - like if I were decorating a cake in, say, China.... Maybe?? Hopefully??? For their sake??? :D

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDancermom

This is why I always read back cake orders to customers and spell back the name on the cake as well. People will sometimes look at me crazy when I have them spell the simplest names (like John, Joe, Buddy) but lord knows the spellings people come up with for their children nowadays. And if someone else took an order and the words they wrote down to have put on the cake don't seem right, I will either call the customer or wait till they get there to double check. Easier to add to a cake than to take away!

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJess

Ya know, many of us cake decorators are told to "just write what's on the order form and don't ask questions"

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTom

Oh, lawd. Love the lime green frosting one. As a cake decorator, I know those order forms can get confusing...but I also know that people ought to have enough common sense... And that last one? If I wasn't afraid of getting fired, and some super-rude customer said that to me, I would without a doubt put that on their cookie.

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterK

"What does it mean? WHAT DOES IT MEEEEEAAN???"

And THAT is the story of my life. I didn't realize I could have cake too !!

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterrolypolyducky

#5: "Fovere": Hmm, must be French...

#6 winds up going from funny to hilarious

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSnarklepuss

In transcribing Barbara's cake, you left out the apostrophe. The cake actually says
?Thank's! There, that's better, isn't it?

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

Do you think Barbara knows what the Half Oreos smushed against the green is supposed to be be?

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTasha

At least the last wreck was funny? :)

But "lime green frosting" written in red frosting isn't quite as funny as the "sprinkles on it" cake with NO sprinkles.

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterErica

I think the last one succeeded in "something funny".

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJo

I guess people so seldom thank these bakers that they feel a need to do it themselves.

(And, hey! I'm still semi-queasy, but the sight of food does not make me hurl this week! That, in anyone's book, has got to be progress. I randomly puked last week at least twice, usually thrice a day. SOMEBODY OWES ME. Transitioning your meds, especially brain ones--epilepsy, in my case--is not fast and not fun. But...excelsior!)

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

@Haiku Joy: After that, you need cake. And cake vodka. I am still recovering from a very nasty sinus headache yesterday, so you can have mine.

I wish someone would do a scientific study on this to determine what part of the brain does not recognize instructions. Would love to see the brain scans.

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Come to think of it, the last baker did put something funny on the cake -- if not quite in the way intended. :-)

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAaron of Minneapolis

Ahhhh, cake 6 had me chuckling for 5 minutes!

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNikachu

I wanna know what Nicole's surprise was!!!!!!!LOL

I would love to go to Walmart and order a cake with that last inscription on it!!!My husband would probably turn blue and die from laughing if I did!!!!

Maybe it's supposed to be Fo' vere-you know how people are with naming their children these days....

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterWildDuck

Reminds me of Brenda from The Closer.

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNight Owl

When will we see any damn thing turn into a image of a dam on the front of the cake?

Come on wreckers get to it!

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

The Literal LOLs are always my favorites, and this is an especially funny bunch.

Thank you much!

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBob

I totally agree with Jess. I do the same thing. Omg some of the names people have named their kids is crazy. Or sometimes its just the spelling like "Jessicuh", "Allyisson"or "Mykel" so you can never been too sure.

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterelle

Thank you. Ah, yes. I was once stopped by one of those "customer interviewers" at a shopping mall. I answered each question, but the girl kept looking at me, and I said "that's all", as in "that's all I have to say about that". And bless her, she wrote "That's all" as part of my answer to every question.

She must have gone on to decorate cakes someplace.

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

I hope Nicole's surprise wasn't something horrifying baked into her cake lol. With wreckerators you never know what they will put in, on or around your cake. I fear for my birthday next week lol.

April 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Well, that last cake was WAS funny....!

April 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

That last one had my daughter and I laughing till tears were running down our faces. I guess funny is what they got in the end, ha!

April 30, 2014 | Unregistered Commentergabriela


They are spiral candles. I've bought them for my kids' cakes.

April 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLisa S.

That last one rules. Though I'm not sure it's a wreck, because they did, indeed, write something funny!

April 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

I also wondered about the Oreos. Sharyn, you are awesome!!!

May 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

I think if you were to get ahold of the order form for the last cake but one, you would see that it was ordered exactly as is by John Cleese for Eric Idle's birthday...

May 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJo

#3 doesn't have pipe cleaners. They're candles. You can get them twisted like that now. See the burnt ends?

May 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBella

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