Remember, kids, if you can't say anything nice...
...say it with cake.
Today is National Honesty Day, but before you go dropping those truth bombs, let's take a look at some ways you can be completely honest but still somewhat polite:
And my personal favorite:
Only works with Angelas, though.
I just realized if you read those three together, you get a short poem:
"You are tolerable.
You are slightly above average.
You are Angela."
I like it.
If you can be a little more effusive, there's also this option for a completely honest compliment:
"And hey, I mean that."
But let's be honest: 99% of the people you know are total jerkfaces, and the only reason we say nice things on their cakes is because it's their birthday and we want cake.
So here's a compromise: start with "happy birthday," and then throw in a little truth:
See, the exclamation mark makes it chipper!
The misspelling will confuse everyone long enough for us to make a run for it.
If you'd rather avoid all that conflict, though, then how about a general statement that everyone can agree on?
Thanks to Nichelle O., Gina G., Kristin S., Kitzy C., Joan A., Sarah C., Liz M., Doug K., & Michele D. for spouting off.