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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Jul212014

Olaf Heats Things Up

[Olaf:] "Oh, I don't know why but I've always loved the idea of summer, and sun, and all things hot...

[Kristoff:] "Really. I'm guessing you don't have much experience with heat."

[Olaf:] "Nope! But sometimes I like to close my eyes, and imagine what it'd be like when summer does come."

[cue music!]

♪ Bees'll buzz ♫

 

...kids'll blow dandelion fuzz,

(hurk)

 

♪ And I'll be doing whatever snow does...

In summer!

 

♪ A drink in my hand,

 

my snow up against the burning sand

 

♪ Prob'ly getting gorgeously tanned...

[...]

[...]

[...]

[...]

...IN SUMMER!!

 

Thanks to Robert H., Jaleo, Anon M., Erin T., Jaclyn O., Charwoody, Susan R., Jessica B., Marika A., Lauren A., and Kyla Q. for playing it cool.

*****

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« What The L? | Main | Sunday Sweets... In... SPAAAACE! »

Reader Comments (39)

We've been watching Frozen all weekend, and I've had the WORST earworm, so I think I'll share...

Do you want to wreck a snowman?
Frost a bee that's not OK?
I'm never eating anymore
Watch out for spores
Will the snowman melt away?
I need a drinking buddy
'Cause now it's hot
It's hard to watch Olaf fry.......
Let's all go out and buy sunscreen
Lots and lots and lots of sunscreen
My, oh my.

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

The bee is dressed like a French apache dancer, in a striped shirt and beret.

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkakaykyk

Why does Elsa (?) (Sorry, I haven't seen the movie) have a parade of geriatric, white-spined hedgehogs falling off her head?

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

I'm getting a little jaded by how bad wrecks can be--I looked at "tan" Olaf and thought, "Hmm, the shape's not too bad."

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDeirdre

"Let's all go out and buy sunscreen
Lots and lots and lots of sunscreen"

Luckily there's that Wandering Oaken's big summer blowout!

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCarlos

Poor "Elsa". I'm really hoping there were a few more cupcakes there that were eaten by the time this picture was taken. No? Well, it's would have been horrific either way.

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I know a woman named Margarite. Trust me, no one who knows her would be celebrating "Margarite Time".

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

What is "queue music"? Is it the stuff they play in stores to drive you nuts while you wait in line?


[Editor's note- Ha! That's why I get for trying to be all fancy with my words n' stuff. I appricate the assistants. -john (thoJ)]

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDorothy

Lol@ sharyn. I think drug testing should be mandatory for bakery employees O_o

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Frosting the Snowman

Frosting the snowman with a hefty SPF
From head to toe all around we go
As we sing in tenor clef
Frosting the snowman is a waste of time they say
No matter how strong it’ll still be wrong
And the guy will melt away
There must have been some magic in that ol’ Coppertone they found
For when they placed it on his snow
He began to dance around
Oh
Frosting the snowman
Got him as tan as you and me
And the children say, “Can you come
And play with Anna and Elsa and me?”
Thumpity thump thump
thumpity thump thump
Look at Olaf go
Thumpity thump thump
thumpity thump thump
That guy is made of snow!

Olaf the snowman knew
The sun was hot that day
So he said
“Let’s run and
We’ll have some fun
As I get tan today!”
Down to the village
With a Margarita in his hand
Running here and there all
Around the square playing
In the sun-warmed sand.
He led them down the streets of town
He didn’t want to stop
And he only paused a moment for
His sweaty brow to mop
For Olaf the snowman
Was having a great day
And when the day was done
He said “Goodbye”
I’ll be back the very next day!”
Thumpity, thump thump
Look at Olaf go
Thumpity thump thump
Thumpity thump thump
That guy is made of snow!

* * * * * *

Dramatic Poetic Coda:

Then Olaf made a fatal error
The snowman’s final mistake
To remove the oily SPF
A shower he did take.
As the hot water came a-pouring out
It fell like red-hot rain
And soon all ‘twas left of poor ol’ Olaf
Was circling the drain….

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Hilariousness levels: fifty-five-thousand.

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commenter-Unknown-

Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy cakes of summer
Those cakes of Olaf and beret wearing bees
Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy cakes of summer
Dust off that one and melt one then drink a margarite
Just avoid the burning sand or you might get charred
Then lock yourself in the house, please
Just how did Elsa loose half her face, I think I’m scarred
And her creepy eyes are following me
Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy cakes of summer
You'll wish that Winter quite soon will be here

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

Jen, Sharyn, Mel, all those who submitted the pictures, THANK YOU! I laughed so hard tears ran, and so did the dogs. Black (can I say that?) Olaf is priceless!

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterms anthrope

That seventh cake is clearly meant to be Olaf. Why, why would anyone make him dark gray or black? Working from a photo negative?

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Did anyone else see "Wilson" from Cast Away in the orange thing-whatever-that-was? I looked at it and my mind immediately screamed "Willlsoooonnnnn!!!!!" (The scene where the volleyball gets away) If you have not seen that movie, then this all seems random and scary. Sorry about that.

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

Hurrah and kudos to all our resident song parodists and poets!

The charcolified Olaf made me laugh! The Elsa cake has the hair down perfectly, but what's with the crazy eyes!?

In the sun ccc (ptooey!) I thought the sunglasses were a bikini top...which led me to wonder what on earth was wrong with th "bottom," especially when considering the red area!

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

@Robin: Now that you say it, I DO see Wilson. Glad he landed safely!

In the third cake, is that dandelion fuzz? Or dandelion poo? Actually, it looks like the never-ending cotton from our cottonwood trees that's clogging our air conditioners and making our lawns look like the were attacked by exploding quilts.

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Great post and great comment as always from Sharyn as well. Lol! Not sure I will hear either song the same way again :)

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJulie B

That charcoal snowman is scary right there lol. Why? Because, it's a current cake. That's a Wal-Mart cake, price changed 2-3 weeks ago lol. Scary. Stick to the design lol, all I can muster up. Wow.

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie S.

anyone else see the clown from the Simpsons in the first pic?
Loved "Frosting the Snowman"!

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKim

are those fruitsnack buttons on #4 (melting snowman)?!? Not the FRUITSNACK buttons! ::said as Gingie on Shrek::

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlawnajo

Again with that stupid song!!! You're trying to kill me, right?
@Robin ~ I see Wilson, too!

Who in their right mind thinks making a black snowman is a good idea??? Oh. Wait. We're talking about wreckoraters here. I forgot where I was for a second. Carry on...

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

On cake #4, do you suppose all of that snowman is made of frosting. As someone who really likes frosting, I got a little sick just looking at it.

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Who's going to start the petition to make CCCs illegal on the grounds that they are horrible and never look like anything normal. My favorite is the added pleasure of icing all over the bottom of the wrapper. As usual, the comments are nearly my favorite part and today was no exception. Well done everyone, well done :)

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCBushLite

Is that last cupcake cake supposed to be Paula Deen?

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoJo

Hmmm...I just realized it would be even funnier if the blackened Olaf were yellow instead!

TLC, that is the BEST description of cottonwood fuzz that I've ever encountered! It does indeed look like quilts exploded all over my neighborhood when that stuff is out in the spring. I'm extremely allergic to it, so it really bugs me.

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

@ mindy1, who said: " I think drug testing should be mandatory for bakery employees":
~~~
Huh. (And here I was, thinking that maybe mandatory drug TAKING would improve the status quo in the "quality" department...)
=^-.-^=

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

How is that last one a wreck? It's almost a photo-realistic image of Adele Dazeem...

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDan S

i may be weird but i really like the melting snowman cake - it really made me laugh.

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjane lewis

@ms anthrope: you're welcome... this is the place to come for a hard laugh...I've gotten many here myself....
@Kim: thanks...I'm glad you enjoyed it....

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

@sendingtheclowns: good to see you again.....!

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

I had no idea the US's obesity epidemic extended to snowmen. Poor grotesquely bloated Olaf....

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

I have to comment on the bee in a beret... Not because I have anything useful to say about it, but because I just like saying "bee in a beret"! =-)

Love this blog!

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Lol I have yet to see Frozen but judging from these wrecks it looks like a wonderfully scary movie lol. Wow what a way to turn a snowman into Mr. Hanky. Bleh.

July 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Is that first cupcake actually supposed to be Olaf? I'm also lost on the 6th wreck down. It looks like a pair of orange soot sprites got electrocuted.

July 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTifa

@mel~
I thank you kindly, dear sir! I've been through a bit of a bramble patch. Life goes skipping along as always, but sometimes it just needs to stick its foot out and trip us up, as a reminder to pay more attention...

July 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Moisturize me!

July 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterThat last "Elsa" cake:

I love that the "Proudly decorated by" space on the Black Olaf cake seems to have been covered with stickers to protect the wreckorator's identity.

Once again I love the cakes set to the original song lyrics. And the songs in the comments are hilarious. You guys all make my day.

July 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJenna

Some bakers should never get ahold of airbrushes.....


Cough Olaf cough

September 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

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