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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Aug282014

Evolution of the Anniversary Cake

Tomorrow is John's and my wedding anniversary, so I've been thinking: Remember how the first few years you always celebrate at some fancy-schmancy restaurant?

("Lhappy Ammversary" is totally how I'm saying it from now on.)

 

And you not only remember the day - you even remember how many days it's been.

 

After a while you dial down the festivities, though, and maybe just bring home some take-out and a cake:

(The urge to scratch in an "I" at the end there is overwhelming.)
(YOU'RE WELCOME, tech guys.)

 

Past the ten year mark you both might start to get a little fuzzy on when and what exactly you're celebrating:

"Here's a cake. Hope I got one of those days right."

"Who are you?"

 

But hey, at least it's happy.

"TMI, mom & dad. TMI!!"

 

John and I are still a long way off, but I hear making it to your 50th anniversary is a real education:

"Presenting the 2014 graduates of the Aniversity... of LUUURVE."

 

So, John, sweetie, Happy Arricorz.

(Changed my mind; THIS is how I'm saying it from now on.)

 

And here's to 50 more Arricorzes, as we learn to hold on to what's most important:

...like how this baker managed to misspell "I" before someone told him to fix it - and then still missed the "you."

YOW.

 

Thanks to Tina G., Sonia Y., Kari J., Natalie L., Jessi C., Ann G., Lisa M., & Johnell. Yow guys are the BEST.

*****

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« Fade to Wreck | Main | Merci! »

Reader Comments (51)

To my own sweet wif -
I will luurve yow all my lif,
in joy and in strif.

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Sung to: As Time Goes By

You must remember this
The Ms are a near miss. My, how the days did fly...
It's fun for me to think of Jen
Adding an "I"

Is this one day or two?
Sixty-nine's happy, too!
You've learned that lurve's no lie
Now, go do Arricorz-y things
We love yow, guys.

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

uhh did that couple seriously get a cake for their Pi-versary? I need to be their friend. Clearly these are awesome people.

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commentertehpet

Cowgratianuns on your 'uns anvesersary!

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLorie

Think that "u" is actually one- in cursive, some of us (guilty) like to be too frilly and will swish the tail up- resulting in a very w-ish u.

E gads, that fancy one. I wouldn't necessarily expect a normal baker to be a spelling master, but a fancy resteraunt? With how snotty they are, you'd think they'd hire people who could write... or spell...
(Or maybe the person was being too snobby- I see the over-fancy-cursive-curse biting them with that h...)

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterWildstar

@Haiku Joy- BWAHAHAHA!

Can't wait to see mel's response!

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

YOW is actually the code for Ottawa International Airport. And it rocks. I could totally see why someone would want to express love for it on a cake.

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHelene

Lhappy Ammversary
Sounds just a bit like French to me
And makes it all sound just so tony
Like that hair guy, Vidal Sassooni.

And counting day’s maybe fun for you
But I’m sure there are better things to do
‘Cause John (thoJ) you lucky stiff,
You’ve got yourself The Best Wif

We are all so happy just to see ya
Celebrate your Anniversaria (and Birthday)
And have a Happy 69
(That is the vintage of the wine.)

You’ve learned a lot through married life
And maybe had some times of strife
But you can handle adversity,
You graduated from the Aniversity.

So Wreckies, unite, and say with me,
(We’re gonna do it on the count of three)
We’ll shout it out and rattle the doors.
“We wish you both a Happy Arricorz!”

* * * * * * * *
Happy Anniversary Jen, and john(thoJ)! Thanks so much for all the fun and humor you give us!
Like everyone who comes here to read and laugh and play, I love yow!

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

PLEASE tell me that is not an actual knife mark in the icing of the HAPPY ARRICORZ cake used to line up the text? Dear God...so many fails here, my head hurts.

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterThoracias

"69?" WTFI!!! (Nurf,nurf) ;)

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

YOW! The last cake is obviously for Zippy the Pinhead's anniversary.

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRoy

Time for a good news report: First day of lectures for my all-new teaching position was yesterday. All of my students - all of them - are thus far polite, engaged, thoughtful, eager, and curious. Me? I'm over the moon. I am slightly regretful that my days of insane student stories may be behind me, but thankfully there will always be crazy cakes.

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Happy Wedding Birthday, John and Jen!

It never occurred to me, until this post, that the person who wrote us that greeting back in 2006, on our 1st, was just avoiding words she was not comfortable spelling.

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKim L.

The second cake should have been a pie.

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJC3

First, I love Haiku Joy. Second, happy anniversary! :D

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

Very soon I celebrate my arricorz at my job. I'll be sure to let my boss know I'd like a cake!

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

I have to agree with Wildstar: that is how you do a "u" in cursive writing. If it was a "w" it would have a small extra swoop at the top of the tail. (At least, that's how I was taught.)

Happy Arricorz to you!

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterIsland Guy

Hysterical! I bet we would be bffs in real life.

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKathy

I'm not even going to try, I'll just let pre-emptive text do the job - Jalopy Animosity, and may you have Manu Moore! Lobe from Caroline By.

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

You said "John's and my" instead of "John and I's"
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Now I don't have to gouge my eyes out with a fork like I do whenever I go to Facebook.

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJason

Terrible execution, but the 3.14 days cake is a Pi reference, some mathsy-geeky couple must have been involved :-)

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMarysia

Jen and John, i hope you have a Happy Arricorz!!!!

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMoonflwr912

Usually the epic fails of the cake wrecks come from the writing. I mean, is the Happy Arricorz cake not absolutely lovely (if you put your thumb over the writing)!

But WTH is with the Happy 3,142 Days of Marriage cake? It isn't rectangular or square or round or shaped like Mickey Mouse or a ghost or a tree or a baby's butt or ... anything. And this was from a "professional"?

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Bwahahahahaha XD

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Shame on you, AutoCorrect,
You’ve made my comment into a Wreck,
It’s john, I wrote and meant to say.
Please don’t change the lower “j”!

Sincerely,

Mel [AutoCorrect’s note: guess I showed you!)

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

L'happy Ammiversity you to louve burds. Amd meeny moar.

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSue W.

I read the first one as "Shappy Ammversary" which is also fun to say. (Especially after many toasts to your happiness...HIC!)

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEd

Lhappy Aniversity Jen & (thoJ). We LUURRVE yow guys!!!

Haiku Joy- LOL!!! A Haiku that rhymes! I love it! I hope it didn't give yow strif to writ dat pome.
Sharyn- Great earworm! Now I need to find the BBC show online so I can watch it, that song always makes me think of Judi Dench...and that lovely little show.
mel-a great treat...din't know yow did pomes two!

We are incredibly blessed by all the talent shown here!!! I am g'rad to see youse creative typz go'ing all out for our Hostess and Host's calibratshum of the'yre armiversorty.
Hoopy Froods and Thanks For All the Fish!!!

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVaBeach alemaP

Anyone care to guess on how 'I' was originally misspelled in the last cake? E? Aye? Ay?

I like 'Ay love Yow.' Ay and Yow have a very tender romance.

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie Bittner

A cursive u actually looks like a w- check your 2nd grade writing books

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTL

As Helene said above, YOW is the code for the Ottawa airport and I remember you and John said you loved Ottawa when you visited for your book tour, so why not come celebrate your anniversary here! Happy Anniversary!

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterbrendalou

I must disagree with those saying that that is how a cursive 'u' is supposed to look - at the end of a word, the tail of the letter is supposed to go out, like a happy puppy, not up to the mid line like a scaredy cat (and my second grade teacher was GOD, GOD mind you, when it came to cursive). The little smear of chocolate frosting on the upstroke that makes it look like a 'w' tail doesn't help either.

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCybrczch

my brother was born on my parents' 8th wedding anniversary so one cake could do for two occasions.

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjane lewis

Congrats to J&J on the ammverserry thing.
Congrats to Haiku Joy for her new position (snort, and sophomoric hilarity).
Congrats to mel, because, you know: mel.

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFM

1. L'happy Ammversary = the anniversary of a Vulcan's first cartridge of ammo. This ancient tradition is now only celebrated by small factions of V'tosh ka'tur.

2. The Pi(e) is a lie.

3. When you know your Wi-Fi well, you start giving it nicknames like wif or fi.

4. A cake from Sister Wives? Note the 'Anniversaries'...

5. Happy 6g = new advertising campaign: Low fat cake only 1 calorie per serving!! (based on a 6g serving size, actual calories may vary depending on the calculation for reality used).

6. Mmm, smells like irony.

7. My brain will not see...whatever you said is printed on that cake. It sees 'Arrozcon', so either it is a cake with made with rice or there is a rice convention going on.

8. Yes, absolutely. A 'u' in cursive is *supposed* to have a tail that reaches right back up to the top.

Got a whale of a tale to tell ya, lads
A whale of a tale or two
'Bout the cursive 'u' and its tail I love
A tail that turns right back 'round above
A whale of a tale, and it's all true
I swear by my tattoo

Jen, L'happy Arrozcon j(thoJ)!

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

@VaBeach alemaP: thank you...an occasional pome, a sing, once in a while a takeoff on something -- a parakeet, I think they call it....and sometimes I think, "...and now for something completely different...," but mostly an eclectic collection of letters arranged in a random order, seeking some sense of sensibility....

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Hey, I married someone on our 34th birthday and ever after it was our birthiversary. So it happens. LOL

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKath

tehpet and JC3, a round of applause, I just got the Pi reference.
Jen and John (thoJ), congratulations on the ammversary of your mawwiage, and many more years of twoo wuv to yow both!

August 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjuice 318

Firstly: Happy anniversary! Secondly: Why is the 'A' usually capitalised in that phrase? Anyone?

Onto the wrecks, I'm with Ed on the first one, I read it as "Shappy Ammversary". Also, as someone who used to work in a nice restaurant, the cooks make the desserts, but often the server, hostess, or maitre d' decorate the plate ans they aren't always used to handling all the garnish mediums.

The Pi cake would have been cool if they hadn't jumbled it all up.

Maybe the 'Happy Anniversaries & birthdays' cake was at a big company or temple gathering and they wanted to cover everyone for the month/quarter/whatever? Or someone got married on a friend/family member's birthday and learned they got a job or promotion the same day, so they're celebrating all of it with one cake now?

August 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTifa

Well at least the wif cake had only one plastic decoration on it lol. I liked the cursive on the I love yow cake. Too many lines but hilarious non the less.

August 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

<~~Knewbee heer. Eye louvre ur cyte! Aye laff'd sew hhrd! L'happie Ammversity!!!

August 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterWiseCue

Happy Anniversary to the best-matched couple I have never met!

August 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie

Haiku Joy,

Congratulations on a good batch of students. Are you *sure* you're awake? :p

August 29, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

Thank you for the timely post. August 28 would have been my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. My mother would have laughed quite a bit on this one. :)

August 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSherrie

Cursive N's are double loops. M's have triple loops. That one is absolutely correct.

August 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoy

Oh Joy, Joy, Joy. You dear, naive, teacher.

Haven't you ever heard the students' rule?
Be really sweet and polite to the teacher for the first week. Then revert to type and watch her reaction.
Bonus points for
a) visible marks on school property (dent from head hitting ceiling, etc);
b) unexplained absence from class the following day that can be gossiped into a night in jail/psych ward/the pub
c) facial expressions and/or colours that look good on Pinterest or Youtube
d) new vocab words you can repeat to your parents

The day they morph into insolent, ignorant goblins, be prepared with your best "I see nothing different" calm, maybe recite a few cake-related haiku. Or set a "Correct the spelling errors on these 20 cakewrecks" test. Good luck!

John & Jen, Happy anniversary. Even 'though the date is not divisible by pi, I hope you enjoy the (well-made) dessert of your choice.

August 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAA

@FM: ha! Late Friday night and taking a look to see if my last post made it and saw your comment. That was too funny! Thanks...I appreciate it...and it made me laugh!

August 29, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Happy Annnnniversarary! May you have many, many more years of love, crafts, delight, and pastry humor!
<3 (and I don't put a party hat on testicles for just ANY couple!)

August 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

The last one is evidently a brummie cake, I see no error ;)

August 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMissEricaCourt

I am so glad the last comment finally says what I scrolled all the way down here to say - in the West Midlands of the UK, 'yow' is *absolutely* how it's said! No error here indeed, chick, as long as yow're from that neck of the woods :)

September 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKaz

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