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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

These 9 Bakery Windows Are All The Warning You'll Ever Need

I'm always amazed by the amount of cake wrecks in shop windows. It's almost as if the bakers themselves are trying to warn us off, in an "abandon hope, all ye who enter here" kind of way.

That or they're operating a secret meth lab in back, and don't want customers wandering in.

Either way, can't say they didn't warn us!

Even Elmo is afraid to stop smiling. No sudden moves, anyone.


Nothing says, "just stack that anywhere" quite like this bakery'

Are those stitches?

Alrighty, then.


Don't worry; it's probably not mold:


And these eyes do not - I repeat, do NOT - follow you when you turn around:



If you stand there long enough, I hear this shop will send someone out to loudly explain it's a sand castle, and let's see YOU do any better, thank you very much:

You must admit, the bursting confetti sprays from the "towers" are inspired. something DIRTY.



Someone tells me this is supposed to be a pork pie:



And this is either a floating circus tent, or a cooking pot smashed on top of an octopus:

Either way, way to appeal to the masses, guys.


This next one tells the tale of Chompers, the molar-stealing clown who sends kids to their deaths on a rickety old roller coaster:

...but Chompers also raises miniature horses, so you know he has a sensitive side.


Of course, sometimes you don't need display cakes to grab attention.
Sometime you just need a cunning shop name:

That, or a cunning linguist.


Thanks to Wendee, Anna A., Becka D., Elise H., D.C., Karen, Niki B., Norah B., Mic N., & Cunnilicious Cakes, which is NOT an erotic bakery, but has apparently never googled that word.


PS - you should probably turn on your safe search first.


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Reader Comments (58)

Ugh, way to keep me off of carbs Dx

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I think they meant pork n beans pie. Want to argue? Just go in knowing that I'm a master debater.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

Hmmmmm, so that's why the drapes are drawn on the last cake shop's windows.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

I looked up Cunnilicious Cakes because I was sure they must be an X-rated bakery making X-rated cakes, but the only rating I could find was their Food Hygiene Rating of 5 which, I am told, is very good. So way to go, Cunnilicous! I'm guessing Elmo's bakery wasn't so successful.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

#1 reminds me of the shag carpet toilet tank cover things I remember from the 70s.
#2 seems to have a paper doily on top of the chocolate layer
#3 . . . I got nothin'
#4 might give me nightmares
#5 is a sandcastle cake like I'm in total control of my hair. "If you say so..."
#6 is a Pork N Beans pie, if anything
#7 could be a bean pot trying to kill a Krakken.
#8 has a number on the roller coaster car. Does it represent the age of the intended recipient, or the number of victims of Chompers?
#9 just sounds dirty, and I am certain it wasn't an innocent mistake.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMoira

Oh dear God, a cake covered in baked beans! 😕
I have no words.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGina

1. Dante's Inferno.
2. Now you need to do a Sunday Sweets post with sandcastles (or if you've already done one, send the link to that bakery...)

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHAL

"I was thinking of getting one of those stacked cakes where the layers are at all different angles. Can you do that?"

(Baker waves arm toward display)

"So that would be a 'no' then."

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTriciaL

I thought those were stitches too, even before I read the caption!

I laughed out loud at the pot smashing an octopus (and I'm with @Moira -- a bean pot smashing a krakken!) then I got to Chompers and truly lost it. I'm going to have nightmares about Chompers tonight and thats' no kidding. That cake is reminiscent of American horror Story Freak Show!!

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

The baked beans are Jelly Belly's, so at least it's still "sweet."

Anyone else notice that apparently Thomas the Tank Engine also has "bulked up" to protect the store? His face so tiny compared to rest of block body. (He's in pic of pink... Uh... Tower).

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMelmac

Oh, they TOTALLY knew what they were doing naming their bakery that.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Oh, you used my favorite James Bond witty line. I told my mother the cunning linguist joke, and she said, "you're not old enough to understand that joke" (I was 25). Loved that Miss Moneypenney.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDeb Morrissey

1. Elmo on the "throne"
2. Thomas is looking scared at going through that pass
3. Yep, it's mold
4. Don't lie. Those eyes DO follow you.
5. Sandcastles my hiney
6. PLEASE tell me why they felt the need to dump pork n beans on a cake
7. I got nothing
8. Nothing But Trouble! Where's the bone stripper? (and Dan Aykroyd's nose?)

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

I'm impressed by the cunning stunt the last one pulled.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCraig T

I cannot help but wonder about the pink thing: The "Thing" is horrible and showing no craft at all - but stacking it and keeping it together is not easy, either. How did they manage it???

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMJ

The pork pie really is a pie full of pork. I saw this on the Great British Baking Show. Here's what one actually looks like:

So, I'm wondering if this is a meat pie made of cake?

And also wondering why it has beans spilled all over it. Yuck.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Elmo is smiling in spite of his flat legs! Did someone pipe all those stars, though? That must have taken a lot of work.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

#6 is a Scotch pie, filled with minced lamb and grease, and is a great favourite here in Scotland :-) Why anyone would want a cake made to look like one, I have no idea...

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLizzie

I'm sure the stitches are supposed to be rose stems.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

The 'pork pie' is a Scottish meat pie with beans, a traditional way to serve the pie. Look it up. :-)

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTrika

I think it's Boston baked beans in a bean pot.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaya

That bakery's name is hilarious.

Fun fact: there is a nail salon in Portland called "Fingerbang".

Not kidding. Google it.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

The pie cake is a scotch pie and beans with gravy that's how we eat them here in Scotland lol and not a bad representation when you know what it is :)

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered Commentercatherine goldsmith

Number 6 is meant to be a traditional scotch pie served with beans, and it's really good work! (If it was a really well executed hamburger cake it would be in suday sweets!)

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBigglesthebaker

#7 looks like it might be a fishing bobber with worms dangling from it

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterrochester

I want to state as a born and bred Leicestershire lass: that isn't a pork pie! That looks more like a scotch pie to me.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLittleleicesterfox

I know that this is the least of the bakery's problems but bespoke and custom mean the same thing. They are not cunning linguists at all.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

Well, I found a link to some pics of cakes that Cunninglicious Cakes have done and while the name may be a bit offkilter, I have to admit to being impressed by what I saw on Instagram:

(Although the towers on her Frozen castle kind of remind me of those joke thingies people give out at bachelorette parties that are meant to cover the groom's..ahem...standout features)

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLady Kal

Elmo is not tickled.

And what a CREATIVE way to get rid of pesty octopi! Yeah...creative. I'm going with that.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

The sandcastle cake makes me think of Katy Perry's fireworks boobs.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

It's not a tent or a's a fishing bobber. That tells you if a fish is nibbling on your bait.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered Commentertharmon1956

The headhunters caught Thomas the Train! His shrunken head will follow me in nightmares for years. Speaking of nightmares, who made that clown monstrosity for a child's birthday? Clowns, scary haunted roller coasters with ghosts, giant chomping teeth and some kind of sad, beaten animals foraging for food in a barren, blackened field? This is the worst cake for a two year old that I can imagine.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

I had to Google Cunnilicious Cakes, and found this mention from British Sandwich Week. Apparently there's a shop called Bulging Baps as well. Mentioned on the same page as Cunnilicious Cakes. Tee hee.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMarch

Funny...I don't remember Margot Kidder being in "Avatar."

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHairfish

Re the final picture:

Baldrick- I have a plan, sir
Blackadder- really, Baldrick? A cunning and subtle one?
Baldrick- yes, sir.
Blackadder- as cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University?

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

I love the cooking pot smashed onto an octopus! That made me laugh out loud and now I am going to request that for my next birthday! Hope my bakery can do it justice. Thanks for your great posts. You never fail to make my day!

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterjane burns

I'd argue that "Two Girls and a Cupcake" is the worst bakery name.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBrandi

What a name. Really rolls off the tongue...

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKai Y. Lowell

Found it.

The owner of Cunnilicious Cakes is Nicole Cunningham. So the play on words is obviously deliberate but a little odd when the bakery you are opening isn't specializing in erotica.

And some of her cakes could qualify for Sunday Sweets.

As to the window-worthy cakes in this post, while they're all bad (except the Scotch Pie), the moldy one and Chompers really made me say "ewwwwww" and the poor, squashed octopus made me laugh.

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJane

Yup the pie is actually a scotch pie and traditionally servd with beans, it is a near perfect representation and really good work ! not a wreck!

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered Commenteraly

Picture yourself with a half-steamrolled Muppet
On a train with a face near a Frankencake pile
Somebody calls you; you answer quite slowly
A cake with eyes colored like bile.

Cellophane "fireworks" and Flotsam abound,
Frosting and "pork" are combined!
Look for the clown with the ponies and teeth,
Then begone!

Octopus or Kraken with cookpot?
Bobber or plunger, indeed?
Octopus or Kraken with circus tent?
It's all a mystery to meeee....

January 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

Oh man. Poor Elmo. He sat on the toilet so long his legs stretched lol. Wow and that bakery name is probably snickered at by any person that knows what the other word is lol.

January 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

JMixx ftw. This site is so darned educational! I'd heard of Scotch eggs and plain ol' Scotch, but not Scotch pie.

January 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Uh-oh... looks like we've got a Scotch Pie Epcot going on here. But PLEASE DON'T bring one of those *things* to the bunker (yuk)!

January 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCali Kath

Nothing to do with food, but there's an art gallery in York called Booboracum. Knowing that the Roman name for York was Eboracum doesn't make it any better.

January 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlice Shortcake

Um...the braid on the witch/elf/donkey is nice?!? Chompers is a cake that will give you nightmares - yikes!

January 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

Thomas looks really roided up!

As for the bakery name, I can't imagine the owner having the last name of Cunningham and NOT knowing what the first part of her name would be associated with. She must have skipped middle school entirely.

January 26, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyn

Lost amongst everything else is "Hapoy Birthday" is written in blood on that black field of despair that Chompers occupies.

I think Jen and the wreckerator has inspired a new horror movie franchise.

January 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

#9 All our products guaranteed hair-free. Honest!

January 26, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterrocketride

Hey! You shared my photo!

Yes, it is a Scotch pie (picture was taken in Glasgow, so it is a Scots Scotch Pie).They are shaped like a british Pork Pie because that is just what meat pies look like here. The filling was mutton in the old days, and but these days they are beef. The hot pie comes topped with baked beans when you buy one in a pub as a hot snack. It actually is well done cake, even if, to Americans,it looks awful.

January 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

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