My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Bananas Are Totally Helping: Women Weirdly Wearing Cake

Since I started this blog I've seen my share of cakes crammed onto real live ladies. Here's a croquembouche dress:



Here's a cupcake skirt:

(I'd eat that.)


And here's an edible wedding dress guaranteed to make you never want an edible wedding dress:


[slowly backing away in horror]


But all of that pales in comparison to whatever the heck is happening in this photo:


Now, I know there's a lot of crazy to take in up there, but keep your eyes on the bananas.

See them?


Now you can scroll down:


Ok, so, a few things:

1) There are now bananas artfully draped on the womens' shoulders. I bet you never thought someone could artfully drape a banana. Or that someone would consider a conjoined torso cake with real live ladies sticking out of either end an appetizing idea. BUT THERE THEY BOTH ARE.

2) The candles. Why? Is this a birthday party?

3) WAIT. Is it Beetlejuice's birthday? THAT WOULD EXPLAIN... well, at least the stripey parts.

4) Now I want shrimp cocktail.

5) You Beetlejuice fans got that one. You're welcome.


Thanks to Amy, Evelyn D., Jessica S., & Jemma S. for sending in those pics with absolutely no explanation. I mean, it's just more fun to imagine all the many, MANY reasons why this is a thing that happened.


I'll, uh, come up with one eventually, I'm sure.


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Reader Comments (53)

Re: last wreck:

Is it wrong that I'm more upset about the cake boobs not matching up with the real lady boobs? Because this MIGHT have gotten a 'pass' from me if it was executed flawlessly.

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Deeeeeeyyyyyyyyy-oh my sweet lord and all that is holy. Maybe this was a Beetle JUICE (get it?)/Rocky Horror Picture Show mash-up party.

I can't look away!

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS


* Are you gonna eat that cake or wear it?
* I don't eat cake. It goes straight onto my thighs.
* Do these dresses give new meaning to the term; Cake Walk?
* Dress making is a piece of cake.
* Do the instructions say "Dry clean only"?

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

Several weeks ago, some friends and I were discussing buffets. I believe, in presenting my argument against buffets, I may have come off as a bit of a jerk. I've been thinking back on this discussion with shame and self-loathing. I've found that I've been unable to look my friends in the eyes since that dreadful night.
But now, due to the fruitcake ladies, I can hold my head high, face my friends and take pride in my belief that buffets can only lead to no-good. (Unless there's shrimp. Day Oh!) Thank you.

What are those spiky things down the cake women are joined?

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

The last one reminds me of Rocky Horror....

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

Those are not ladies under the bananas.... Been to San Francisco's South of Market lately?

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBill C

That 2nd picture immediately made me think of the gleeful declaration, "You look like a talking cupcake!!!" (Many geek points if you get this reference.)

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I wonder if that last one has mint frosting.

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGristle McNerd

It's a
Six foot
Seven foot
Eight foot
Daylight come and me wanna go home, yeah.

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMary Jayne

Beetlejuice would totally approve of that last cake. And Lydia would be the one to order it for him. But cartoon Lydia, not movie Lydia, because they weren't friends in the movie.

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLydia

1. Correction: What are those spiky things down where the cake women are joined?
2, @Bill C.- If those "ladies" want to dress up as ladies, they're ladies no matter how many bananas surround them.

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Yeah...and I'm more than willing to bet those are real live "ladies" under that...whatever it is...

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPatty

That edible wedding cake looks nothing less than awesome!

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterQue Sara Lee

Great, now I have Calypso stuck in my head.

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNargles

Maybe somebody watched Beetlejuice back to back with that episode of ST:TNG, went to sleep and had a nightmare, woke up and thought, that would make a great cake! :O

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie E.

I would like to point out.. that last cake looks more like the ladies from James and the giant peach, more than it does beetle juice... anyone else notice that? Also I'm curious how one would make an edible dress... TO THE INTERNET!

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLoki

It's Shirley for the win! Straight to my thighs, indeed....

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterColin M.

Yeah, those aren't ladies.
I have no idea why that would be a thing people would be interested in, but whatever.
The other wearable dresses? No. Just no. The frosting on the inside of her arms on 3rd one grosses me out.

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

Wow. Those are the most uncomfortable looking things to wear that I've ever seen! Except, whatever is underneath has to be even worse.

(Those "ladies" look entirely too happy to be buried under that mess.)

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Am I the only warped person to have a disgusting visual of a groom removing the garter?

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

The last one reminds me of the Tom Petty "Don't come around here no more" video where Alice is cake and they eat her. Alice is wearing her traditional blue dress, but the room is all black and white.

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGhost With Internet Access

Where I come from, when dressed like this (though usually in something made of fabric), they do indeed call themselves ladies.

Vida Boheme: Carol Ann, if we're going to be friends, there really is something I should tell you...
Carol Ann: Adam's Apple?
Vida Boheme: What?
Carol Ann: Adam's Apple. Women don't have Adam's Apples, only men have Adam's Apples. The first night that you came to town I noticed that you had yourself an Adam's Apple.
Vida Boheme: Then, then you know?
Carol Ann: I know, that I am very fortunate to have a lady friend who just happens to have an Adam's Apple.

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

You know what that last bit of weirdness reminded me of? Tom Petty's video for "You Don't Come Around Here No More," only with one (well, two) of his stripy flamingo-playing groupies on the table instead of Alice.

Have you guys seen that video? It feels very Cake Wrecks.

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterVicky

The last cake reminds me of the Tom Petty video for "Don't Come Around Here No More."
That is the one where he is the Mad Hatter and Alice turns into a giant sheet cake and they are slicing her up. Ah, the 80s!

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterEd

Okay, that last one? Yeah, those ladies are NOT under the cake/whatever. They are UNDER the table. Just look at the position of the one closest to the camera, looking back. You can tell that her upper body/shoulders are above the table, and the rest is probably sitting in a chair under the table, while the 'cake' appears to be their bodies. If she's not under the table? Then her boobs are where her lap should be and she doesn't look that old, LOL. No matter what though, it's still unappetizing. Maybe that's the point? No cake for you!

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered Commentercookiemama

just gonna say - I have no words

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAddie

The 1930s dancer and singer Josephine Baker used to wear a skirt made of bananas. In fact that was all she did wear when she did her act. She looked good in them. But she would have looked good in anything.

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTachybaptus

That last one... Maybe a "wrap party" cake for American Horror Story?

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNella

So, wow, that last one. Is it a birthday or an allusion to venereal disease?

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAnother Jen

The last one reminds me very much of the Tom Petty video, Don't Come Around Here No More.

Right around the 4 minute mark.

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterEtakeh

Adding to Shirley's
-Will this dress make me look fat...

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJan

Are those.... crotch spikes? I thought they might be fruit spikes (to keep the fruit *ahem* upright) for the bananas/grapes/oranges but the fruit never made it that far. Perhaps they were concerned that drunk guests might forget themselves and we'd have an American Pie moment but with cake. I mean, that IS cake under there, right?

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMari

It reminds me of the Alice in Wonderland-themed video for Tom Petty's "Don't Come Around Here No More." Anyone remember that from MTV?

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

I'm not sure gobbing an ungodly amount of frosting on a hoop skirt makes it either edible or a wedding dress.... Legend has it this woman went to a tanning salon and all that frosting melted and created the Great Frosting Flood of '15....

...I'm oddly fascinated by the Beetlejuice cake.... and can't help but wonder if it ended in a theatrical performance of someone stabbing it viciously until cake spattered all over the guests. Let's hope it didn't have raspberry filling.

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

I'm still trying to understand what happened to the bride and her boobs between the picture on the left and the one on the right. Was left-bride photoshopped to defy gravity?

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterStevenHB

Wow. Those are... um... wow.

@Mary Jayne - Perfect!

I will now back slowly away from these images and go back to the cream puffs I'm making because it's Cream Puff Day (Bolludagur) in Iceland today... not that I'm in Iceland, mind you, but I never let location spoil a good baking holiday.

I will not, however, be wearing my cream puffs as a skirt. =-)

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

The women remind me of souixsie souix and the banshees.

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJules

I'm strangely intrigued by this post.

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPC

That last one reminds me of Tom Petty's "Don't Come Around Here No More" video

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Reminds me of the Tom Petty video for Don't Come Around Here No More.

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterH

Wow, glad to see I'm not the only one reminded of that Tom Petty video. Creepy as anything. This cake . . . I don't know.

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRoxy Random

@Gristle McNerd

Cellular Peptide Cake with Mint Frosting. You just had to remind me of that episode of absolute weirdness!

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

I remember this from an old episode of "CSI." If they are to be believed, eating food off a live woman is some sort of fetish.

Ewwwww. . .

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDana Corby

That last cake ....there is no "Dana only Zuul", actually there are two Zuuls in a cake.

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTabatha

As soon as this cake hit the optic nerve the only thought was to wonder if the cake itself is a cellular peptide cake, and if the frosting is mint...

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTeh pea

So...anyone else reminded of a Tom Petty video?

February 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterErin

It's the internet, so I'm comfortable saying this: I would totally order that last "cake." Maybe for a milestone birthay, or a home from rehab party. The people I don't like get the piece by the armpits.

February 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLinaLamont

Well this definitely beats Super Bowel Monday by a long shot lmao. Holy smokes this makes me laugh especially the edible wedding dress..back away from the bride and quickly!

February 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

It is a cellular peptide cake...with mint frosting!

February 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDaniel H.

This is one of the weirdest cake wreckers I've EVER seen and I've followed the blog "since the beginning!"

Maybe someone else posted this statement "Does this cake make me look fat?"

I agree w/the poster who asked about Tom Petty. I IMMEDIATELY saw the connection.... "... don't come around here no more..........HEY! ...."

February 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

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