My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Anti-Valentine

Not feeling the love today? Then here, try these Valentines on for sighs.

'Cuz nothing says romance like necrotic tissue!


Another sure-fire mood-killer? Faded pictures of screaming children on motorcycles:



Maybe you don't want to kill the mood so much as make it really, really confusing:

"Weight 4 me?" "Weight 4 me?" How does that even make sense? I mean, look, I love puns. "Bee Mine" with a honey bee? I'm on board. "I love EWE" with a lil sheep? Adorbz. But what the heck is "Weight 4 me" with a heart lifting hearts? Is this just so meta my brain can't handle it? Who even says "wait for me" on Valentine's Day, much less says it so often they need a visual play on words? How is this a thing? Who thought this was a good idea? AAAAUGGH!

[patting hair back into place]



And finally, when you just plain want to be a jerk:


There's this:

See, it's funny, because nobody loves them! The person who ordered this cake, I mean.
You know, the one covered in pink icing. (We hope.)


Thanks to Jenn W., Gabrielle N., Candi, & Jamie G. for giving us a good idea what NOT to do.


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Reader Comments (24)

"Nobody loves you except me."
Eat this cake so you will become overweight and unattractive to others and become completely dependent on me.

February 14, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterEoin

That last one seems almost abusive...I do wonder about people sometimes...

February 14, 2017 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Maybe it was supposed to read "Lose weight 4 me"?

February 14, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSara

I think that the heart is lifting heart shaped weights. Still not a good idea.

February 14, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterC F Bell

No no no -- the heart is lifting weights! It's a STRONGHEART. Or is that dog food?

February 14, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMarti

Bakery manger: "Chuck 'em out in the bin--the lot of 'em! Garbage truck'll be by tomorrow; maybe he'll drop 'em off at the pig farm on his route; KIND of like a treat.... right?"

February 14, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@ Sara ROTFLMAO - totally.

Wow. Now THAT would be some kind of anti-Valentine greeting fer shere!


February 14, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

Jen, I hope that John is doing ok. My husband had his right shoulder replaced in 2015 and it was very painful, but it gets better. Physical therapy is a must for him!

Now, down to business. The valentine's day cake with the screaming toddler on a that a miniature Darth Vader riding in the back seat? And..are those training wheels on the motorcycle?

'Cause nothing says "I love you" quite like a screaming toddler riding a motorcycle with training wheels with Darth Vader in the back seat. Really? Hopefully Hallmark is taking notice for next year.

February 14, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNeeta

#1: Nothing says "I love you" like molten lava sliding down a side of beef.

February 14, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterdutchgirl

Oh, C'mon. "Weight" for me is obviously a couple-in-training. Not, like, a couple learning how to be a couple, but a couple training for an athletic event . . . never mind

February 14, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLaTalullah

The "Nobody loves you" would actually work if only they had said " I do" instead of the creepy "(except me)". (But perhaps I'm just too old for edgy insult culture.)

February 14, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTheo Bromine

Is that the grim reaper riding behind the child?
It would certainly explain the screaming.

February 14, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLivingInAGlassHouse

Nothing says Happy Valentine's day like screaming toddlers on motorcycles, hearts pumping hearts and passive-aggressive insults. Bring on the joy......

February 14, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

I hope the person read the side of the cake otherwise whoever bought it probably got a swift kick lol. Heck if I got a cake like that I would keep the cake and probably start yelling til they pointed out the side. Then I would refuse to share the cake just cause they got me mad lol.

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I'm think weight for me is incarcerated. And spending all his free time lifting. Or maybe I need to read lighter fiction.
Hope the recovery is going well!

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKAthleen

I think weighting was a self gift of indulgence.

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDevon

Hi Jen,

The minute I saw the weight for me one I immediately thought of someone in the military out on assignment sending home a valentine for his sweetheart who is waiting for him back home. Probably the only case where this would be appropriate.

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJoelle

i like the cakes

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered Commentershaun

To me, the only reply possible to the "Nobody loves you" pink thing (well, before the cake meets giver's face anyway) would be something along the lines of "Spare me my life from this monstrosity / Easy come, easy go, will you let me go..."

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNessie

great cake

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered Commentershaun

I love the Valentines Day Cakes!

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered Commentershaun

LOL anti valentine

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterkells

My birthday was on Feb. 9th and my parent's anniversary was on Valentine's Day. Last night I ate my last piece of scrumptious chocolate birthday cake. It's always kind of sad when that happens. But not as sad as these!

February 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLora

The Weight for Me Anti-Valentine is well done--just adorable!

February 16, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJudy Sugita

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