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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Camouflaged E.T. Balls

Dawn ordered this Fall tree design for her wedding cake:


But in the end, she couldn't see the forest OR the trees:

I, for example, only see E.T. hands.


The cake Adriana wanted was already kinda funky:


...but give that photo to a wreckerator, and things get SO MUCH FUNKIER:



And finally, Lindsay wanted this camouflage sheet cake:

Which leads us to a quandary:


Is it possible to camouflage camo?

Because I don't see it.


Thanks to Dawn B., Adriana S., & Lindsay M. for seeing what I did there.


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Reader Comments (32)

The "fuzzy ball" cake looks fairly simple. Is that WHITE chocolate? Some wreckerators can mess up anything!

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

I honestly don't find the 2nd one bad at all -- I'd have been happy with it!

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

For the last one, it seems like both cakes are wrecks, no?

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered Commenteralex

Oh deer (see what I did there?), I'm very sure the camouflaged cake was done on whipped topping which does not hold color. It also will cause the writing to weep like that.

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMe

That last wreck disturbs me more than any wreck I've seen before. The sample cake isn't all that good. I could have made that and I'm not a professional. I'm not even a very good amateur. Hell, I usually just bake the cake and then eat the cake. So how hard would it have been to make a copy of it? And why is there baseball stitching on there? Emilii must have been so disappointed.

I kinda like the already kinda funky cake. It looks like it's covered in those tiny cush balls you get out of gumball machines. MMMM cushy...

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

1. Those are the antlers of a young deer. Some of those leaves are awful. Time to clean up the cookie cutter collection.

2. Lesson to be learned wreckreatorsL ganache and buttercream are not the same.

3.. I don't see the camo either. Now THAT'S camouflage.

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTere

Sorry, but the "before" of the wedding cake and the camo cakes are wrecks too. How could those possibly be anything but?

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Deer and pine trees just don't say "love and marriage" to me. They say.... I don't know what they say, but NOT love and marriage. Whatevah. For what it's worth I like BOTH BALLSY cakes... especially the non-wreck one. I could sink my teeth into that - no problem!

ROTFMLAO, as always


February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

MMMMMmmmmm nonpariels. Booooo Schwetty Balls!

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Ehh, the balls cake (heh balls) isn't too awful. They just needed to use a smooth chocolate glaze instead of thick white frosting. With the last one, the inspiration cake looks bad already, so is a wreck of a wreck a wreck??

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

cake #2 would be a good Halloween cake - it looks like fangs and dripping (white) blood.

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterjane lewis

That post title, tho... O_O

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

I was married in the fall.

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

My daughter just sent me a text correcting the term cush balls. Apparently, the correct name is Koosh Ball. I stand corrected.

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

After how many years of reading Cake Wrecks, it still amazes me that professional bakers look at these creations and see them as fit to be sold. For money.

If I made them, I'd apologize profusely and give them the cake rather than actually charge them for it!

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSue

No, no, nooooooo....the last two (yes, both) aren't camouflaged nearly ENOUGH! As for the rest of those specimens...the customers got their just desserts...(ya gets what ya pays fer)!

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

The um, balls cake would have turned out better if the baker knew the difference between jimmies and nonpareils...(the sample cake used the latter, the wreck used the former.) Also would have looked better if they used ganache instead of buttercream. Lots of wrecks could be avoided if everyone knew the difference between (and proper uses of) buttercream, ganache, and fondant. If you buttercream when you needed to fondant, you're gonna have a bad time.

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTipsykit

@ Tere -- Love your #3 "now THAT's camouflage"!

@ All -- How are those balls in cake #1 made? I decorate cakes and I am mystified. Thank you.

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

Honestly all three of the original cakes were ugly as well. I don't see a winner among any of these!

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTrina

Okay, I'm confused by everyone complaining about the first wedding cake. Maybe it's because hunting isn't a thing where y'all live? Because around here, in central PA, that's a perfectly normal theme. The bride and groom topper might be a bit much, but the trees and leaves and so on are very nicely done.

The third cake isn't my cup of tea...but it's obviously well done...a mountain range or ridge in the middle, rifle scope in the corner, decent camouflage and dog tags. Obviously veteran themed. The wreck? Not. Even. Close.

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterWendy B

@Mary Kay: if Adriana is from Brazil (it's a fairly common name here), those could be brigadeiros, which are some delicious condensed milk sweets. So at least the cake should taste good...

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterThais

My 3 yr old looked over my shoulder and just said, "Mmm good cake". Guess as long as it tastes like sugar he doesn't care.

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJess

The last one is was probably iced with a whipped cream
...which absorbs airbrush color and has bleeding issues when written on with dark colors....I have to warn people about that all the time

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterVero

It is the hairy black wings of Death & Destruction on the deer that worries me most about wreck # 3. That artsy piece could definitely use some major camouflage, please. I can just hear the person ordering, ' hey, instead of those dog tags, how about an avenging angel of hunted deer? Wouldn't THAT be memorable on a cake?'

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAdo_Annie

I can't help but feel like the bottom one looks bad because it is whipped frosting. The stuff tastes great but is garbage to work with when it comes to airbrush because it is water based and does not hold it well.

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBrit

So the deer on cake 2 escaped, and ended up on the last one, and who could blame it?
A wreck of a wreck of a wreck - Wreck-ception! (because in-wreck-tion is a little ... (snigger) ... hard to do? Against stiff competition?)

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKismet

Oh those donut holes on that cake actually look yummy. Not too sure about the first cake though lol. Any cake with donut holes can't be too bad.. I hope.

February 3, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Not seeing ET hands as much as coral...dead coral...had they whacked a Nemo on the top i would be none the wiser....confused, but none the wiser

February 3, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterraaychl

Let me guess, the last cake got the non dairy whipped topping for the icing. I try to warn people it doesn't hold the color and will just fade.

February 3, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKas

Well, the first problem with the balls cake is the customer wanted a chocolate cake design, but in vanilla...

February 3, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

The last one reads the Vietnam peninsula, and the only reason I'm saying that is because of dog tags and the sniper scope in the corner. The brown splotch looks like the shape of the SE portion of the country.

I can't stand "hunting" wedding cakes (or pregnant torso cakes, either), so when one of those goes Wreckconator, it gives me life.

Remember unless you pay out $$$$$$$ to a baker who can make butter creme look like fondant, the probability is great you will be dissatisfied.

February 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFord_Prefect

That camouflage cake (original) is most likely a memorial cake for an MIA who served in the army during the Vietnam War. I thought the brown splotch looked like the country. I'm on my phone and didn't really enlarge what the dog tags had on them when I first posted.

One says "Mark"

The other says "10/21/69"

*my heart just broke* :(

So actually, the baker DID do a good job. I showed my Dad, who fought in Vietnam, just the picture. He said, "Who the hell would put Vietnam on a cake?" Then he noticed the dog tags.

We just didn't understand the context.

Which makes this all worse if this was supposed to honor a family member. I hope the bride had no clue and just grabbed it out of grandma's shoe box full of pictures for an "example" of cammo.

Semper Fi/This We'll Defend, Mark (don't know which branch you served)

February 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFord_Prefect

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