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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
May312017

The Princess Bridal Wrecks

"Mawwiage!

(Oooh, aaahhh.)

 

Mawwiage is wot bwings us togevaaah...today."

(Ewww! Awwww...)

 

"Mawwiage: that bwessed awangement...."

 

"That dweem..."

"Wivin...a... dweem!"

("Stand your ground, men! Stand your ground!")

 

"So tweasure your wove."

And your airbrush.

 

Skipping to the end...

"The chocolate coating makes it go down easier.
But you shouldn't go swimming after for at least a good hour."

 

Stephanie M., Anony M., Amanda C., Ann B., & Jennifer, are there Wrecks ahead? If there are, we'll all be fed! 

*****

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« Beautiful Wrecks | Main | Nah, These Won't Traumatize The Kids At ALL »

Reader Comments (34)

Hehehehe

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMindy1

Egads......it would probably take more than that "good hour" just for the pepto dismal to kick in.
=^0.o^=

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Boo, Boo, Boo!! Bow to the baker of slime, the cake of filth, the decorator of putrescence. Boo. Boo. Rubbish. Filth. Slime. Muck. Boo. Boo. Boo!

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

These cakes all have a negative covfefe about them...

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNotMe

Elmer J Fudd officiating a wedding...Yes!!!!!! πŸŒΈπŸŒΈπŸŒΈπŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€ Um...eerrr...where is Bugs and Daffy????

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTere

Ok, I just spit my morning coffee out over "stand your ground men!" :/ and here I thought I was immune....

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

The gold one makes me think of those "tan in a can" sprays and lotions. Maybe it was for a 50th anniversary party.

SuBee and NotMe - perfect comments! :-D

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

there is a lack of perfect cakes in the world.

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFrankN.Stein

The first wreck doesn't look all that bad to me. The rest...ugh...

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMel

Cake number six looks looks like something for a WSU watch party-just needs a WuShock cake topper!

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterkorenyx

Your ears AND your eyes you keep and I’ll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing the hideousness of your cake will be yours to cherish. Every wedding guest who weeps as they approach your cake, every woman who cries out, β€œDear God! What is that thing,” will echo in your perfect ears.

Thank you for the Princess Bride quotes! You made my day!

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

To me, the worst are the ones that come so close, but are still wrecks, because you are probably still going to have to pay for them. "You asked for draped fondant and red roses, and that's what you got. Pay up."

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

#2 is a true wreck. #5 looked like Auntie Viola branched out to tiered cakes for the first time. #3 and #1 look like a make me a $2K cake for $600, and here's the picture from Pinterest. #4 was done out of spite since a bridezilla was involved.

#2 now there is some serious wreckage.

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFord_Prefect313

I'm sorry but 2 drives particularly insane because replacing the strawberry pink with sparkling purple ruins the ice cream vibe the original decorator had going on.

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterGeo

I kinda sorta agree w/Mel, except the "draped wreck" reminded me of draped cotton bedding, not an opulent draped wedding gown. So if the bride was going for an "unmade hospital bed" for wedding theme... NAILED IT!

:-P

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

Some of those were cakes the brides ordered with what they GOT on the second picture right? At least three fall under that.

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNathan R.

The first one looks pretty good, not so much the others. I do LOVE NotMe's comment!

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

DEAR GOD, WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS?!??!!


(Mel, the first one isn't a wreck. It's what the second one was supposed to look like. You really need to keep up, hon).

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Wedding Cake? You keep using those words. I do not think they mean what you think they mean. ;)

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterstorymusicgirl

That purple, black and white pile is one of the worst bridal wrecks ever.

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNanalettie

I kind of like the gold one. :)

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMarylee

Decorating. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what these bakers think it means.

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKellieRee

Is that a Purple fruit roll up on wreck#2?

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHerdmom

That 3th cake...I swear they have q-tips between the top and middle layer...

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJ'NaeNae

The second cake was from a wedding that I coordinated a few years ago. The baker swore up and down that they could recreate the picture with a lovely lavender instead of pink. When they delivered the cake to the venue, they snuck in the side, dropped of the cake, and bailed before I could see it. When the bride saw it, she made a strangled gagging noise, laughed maniacally, and then burst into years. She got a full refund from that "professional" baker.

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterOmbreOtterr

The princess bride would not approve....

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJuniemitch

I hate those "unwilling groom" toppers. Anyone who uses that deserves a cakewreck to go with it.

Drop. Your. Spatula.

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

Have they piped toothpaste around the bottom of each layer in the 3rd cake? Why is it blue?

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAna

OmbreOtterr : Ooh, backstory! I love it.

I get a kick out of the schadenfreude of the wedding wrecks (Pie, anyone?) but they always make my mom sad for the poor brides. Perhaps I empathize less for never having been one. :p

June 1, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

Ok the Stand your ground quote made me LAUGH OUT LOUD. Thought I woke the whole house up.

June 1, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDarlene

Your wedding: The most important event of your life, one that you'll remember forever. By all means, have the cake made by your sister-in-law with the hook-hand and glass eye. You won't regreat it one bit.

June 1, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHairfish

Those cakes are just.... INCONCEIVABLE!

June 1, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLadyMac

Oh the poor brides that got those although the one with a little too much gold on it was actually pretty. I liked it.

June 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

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