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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jul112017

Tell Me What You Want, What You Really Really Want

Sometimes when a cake makes no sense, it's helpful to ask yourself, "What do you suppose the customer asked for?"

Insults 101: When calling a girl a dog, it's always helpful to be breed-specific.

 

(For what it's worth, I'm pretty sure that's not how Mrs. Hopperband spells her name.)

 

"Look, I just want what every girl wants for her birthday: a big- a$$ cake!"

Eh. [shrugging] As I'm sure every cake-loving girl would agree: close enough. Pass the forks!

 

Sometimes you just want a sugary baked good for no reason at all. And yet, without an inscription, what can Wreckerators wreck? That's why they're so adamant that your cake say something.

And that's also why we get Wrecks like these:

Give it a minute.

 

Jen B., Stephanie W., Autumn R., & Sara G., one "Ho Thing Special," comin' up.

*****

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Reader Comments (21)

Well, the big-a$$ cake /could/ have been a huge, fondant-covered 3-D version of a person's posterior, y'know.

July 11, 2017 | Unregistered Commenternancy1745

Got any fire related wrecks? My province is on fire. Been evacd from my home for 6 days now. Need good laffs

July 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterWannek

Just slip the "Ho" thing under the door; we all want to see just how special she is....
=^-.-^=

July 11, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

How great would a band bride be? Just imagine how uniquely awesome a shako-inspired veil would look. (Shako is apparently the name for those marching band hats.)

July 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Can squeeze on congratulations but not Hopperband. Gotcha.

July 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKnittedbooties

Thanks for the "Big Ass Cake". I needed a Big Ass Laugh and this delivered. I'm sure my neighbors appreciated hearing me cackle for a full minute at full volume.

July 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

Yo, JennyDog - thanks for all you do!

(Maybe Jenny is a service animal?)

July 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJules

I am trying to figure out if that was supposed to be directions to place a BLOND bride or a BORED bride on the cake.

July 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterStefanie

I'd eat the Big Ass Cake, not gonna lie.

July 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKai Lowell

mmm ...Wonder if it was supposed to possibly have a "blonde bride on it" ???

July 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKathie

That last Wreck..... I read it as, "Hot hing special"...... not sure what a "hing" is.................

MaryO1230 :-) :-)

July 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

Just as long as it's a big-ass cake and not a big ass-cake. (Hat tip to Randall Munroe.)

July 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

The Big Ass Cake looks more than a little like the old logo for Big Ass Fans to me. And even if it wasn't, I'd totally still eat it.

July 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterK`shandra

All that dark icing... bitter taste on the "Big Ass Cake"!

July 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymoose

That second one looks to me as if it says Bond bride.

"Do you expect me to talk?"

"No, Mr Bond, I expect you to marry me. And eat cake. Lots of cake."

And as for giving somebody a dessert declaring them Nothing Special, well, was it really necessary to be so Bassethoundy?

July 11, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterdr handle

Not going to lie: I see Ho Thing wrong with Big Ass Cake!

July 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

Good thoughts to you, Wannek. We're getting smoke from the B.C. first here in north central Washington.

July 12, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

The local supermarket refused to put "Happy Birthday, Dirty Ho" on our friend's birthday cake!

July 12, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterPeggy

If only the decorator of that second cake had stopped at 'Congratulations'. It's spelled correctly, it's straight, and it's not badly written.

July 12, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

Honestly, the bit a$$ cake is spectacular. I'd be super happy to receive it.

July 12, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJane

Not positive, but the Big A$$ Cake looks a lot like the logo on go-cups you can get from a place on Bourbon Street in New Orleans...

July 12, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterManda

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